Last week’s post got me to thinking about some of the weird things we come up with as children and what we fervently believe to be true. I’m sure we drove adults crazy with all our questions, but somehow we still managed to think up some pretty wild stuff on our own. Of course, sometimes the reason we came up with the wild stuff is because we were trying to make sense of what adults told us in the first place.
Here are some of the things I remember believing with all my heart and soul.
Don’t judge me.
- I believed my parents were just slighter under God in terms of authority, and just slightly above teachers. But since they always took the side of teachers, that part was negligible.
- I believed the United States, plus a couple of small islands, made up the entire world. In my defense, there are several current politicians who believe this today.
- I believed there was some special ritual governing the opening of food products in our house. I knew this was true because whenever I asked if I could have something my mom just bought, she’d say, “No, it hasn’t been opened yet.” Once an item was opened, however, it was free game. Mind you, I never witnessed the Secret Opening Ritual, but I believed in it just the same.
- I believed “The Incredible Mr. Limpet” was the best movie of ALL TIME.
- I believed “You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd” by Roger Miller was an example of songwriting at its very finest.
- I believed that if I walked or rode my bike down a dead end street, I would die. I was a very literal child.
- I believed that were I to accidentally swallow a seed, any seed, I might wind up pregnant. I believed this because my dad told me that when a man and a woman marry, God plants a seed in the woman’s belly and a baby grows and nine months later pops out. I was terribly afraid of swallowing seeds after that.
- I believed Rodeo Day was a national holiday and was shocked — shocked, I say! — to find out it wasn’t. (If you didn’t grow up in Phoenix in the 70s, you have no idea what this means. I feel bad for you. Rodeo Day was when the Phoenix Jaycees put on their big parade and held a rodeo, raising money for local charities. It was such a huge event, with everyone decked out in their finest western gear, that all the schools closed for the day. Seriously. It was great.)
- I believed white Keds made you run faster. Tracey in the second grade ran like the wind. She wore white Keds. Ergo, white Keds make you run faster.
- I believed the greatest feeling in the entire world came from walking home in the pouring rain, opening the front door, and discovering your Mom was baking chocolate chip cookies. The. Best. Feeling. (Actually, I still believe this to be true.)
So, what are some things you believed were true as a child? Leave one or two in the comments. Trust me, it feels good sharing a bit of your foolishness.
And since we’re all about nostalgia and good feelings today, here’s my mom’s recipe for chocolate chip cookies. If you have children in your house, give them some seriously good memories by making these, whether it’s raining or not.
Mom's Chocolate Chip Cookies
You will note that the recipe includes shortening, which, as we all know from health reports, is bad for you and if you have any you will DIE! A horribly gruesome death, no doubt. But lucky for you I tested the recipe with coconut oil, which as we all know from health reports is the best thing on earth and will increase your lifespan by 80 years. Or something like that.
- 2 1/4 cups flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup butter
- 1/2 cup shortening (or coconut oil)
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 eggs (if small, use three)
- 1/2 package semi-sweet chocolate chips (the rest you stick in the fridge and snack on periodically. Or just chow down in one sitting. It’s up to you.)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Prepare baking sheet with parchment paper or sprinkle with flour.
Combine first three ingredients in small bowl. In a larger bowl, cream together butter, shortening and sugars. When smooth, add extract and eggs, mixing well. Gradually add flour mixture and blend well; add chocolate chips. If mixture seems too wet, add a couple tablespoons more flour.
Drop by tablespoons onto prepared baking sheet. Bake for about 10 minutes, until lightly golden brown. Let cool slightly before removing them from baking pan. Prepare yourself for numerous hugs from small children and/or loved ones. You are a good person. You made cookies. Now eat several of them. Be happy.