I spied you in the phone store,

 Cradled in your cubby, attached by a cord,

Your screen was dark, waiting for more

Than a passing glance or a mumbled word.

For a part time clerk, seeking a sale,

Shows the popular model, the better known brand,

I checked your features, my skin grew pale,

I held you aloft, I took you in hand,

Cool to my touch, you were eager to please,

Never have I selected a phone with such ease.

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O happy day! What bliss, what joy!

To have a phone that works, and more,

Pictures are clear, the apps I employ

Make life easier, my planning more sure.

But oh, fair phone, if I ever forget thee,

I’m suddenly cut off, adrift without oar,

Helpless and lost, with no one to guide me,

Lest I hold you again, I ache to my core.

Until, dear friend, I see you at last,

I take you in hand, all sorrow is past

Others may laugh, we pay them no mind,

They don’t understand the feelings we share,

For you are the friend who keeps me in line,

You treat me so well; I know that you care,

Could it be my affection is too high?

Nay, rather, not high enough!

For indeed, our friendship can never die,

Our union is built of firmer stuff,

Until … ooh a new model! What can it do?

Phone love is fickle; one year and it’s adieu.

Holy cow, have you ever tried to write an ode? Seriously, I don’t know how Keats did it.

Anyway, the reason I wrote this — other than to challenge myself — was to tell you a little phone story. Completely true, by the way. To wit:

Not that long ago, my phone wanted to download an update and asked me if it would be okay. Which I thought was darn polite of it, don’t you think? I gave my approval and it told me goodbye.

When it booted back up, a cheerful font was on the screen saying, “I’m back! Let me show off my new features! Ask me anything!”

Confused, I said, “What’s the point?” And get this — it sent me to a forum on depression!

Awww! My phone is worried about me! Isn’t that sweet?!

And since my phone is so darn helpful, I asked it what we should fix for dinner.  It had me complete a quiz, which was surprisingly thorough, and it told me we should have veggie quesadillas. As it just so happens, I love quesadillas. If you like them as well, here’s how I make mine: