Seriously. I’d like to know. Because if they do, they must sneeze with great style and cough most elegantly, and given the fact that I’ve been fighting a cold with varying degrees of success this past week, I’d really like to know how they handle such a blow to their otherwise beautiful manner of living.
But then again, they probably don’t catch colds. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Perhaps I should back up a little.
About a month ago, I began the task of trying to organize my closet yet again. My closet is not a big one, mind you, so how it keeps falling into an utter state of chaos is beyond me.
Anyway, while researching the topic (which is what I do when faced with any task, large or small), I discovered that while my closet is small by American standards, by European standards it is quite large. And since they have such small closets, Europeans, in particular the French, have very few clothes. They focus more on quality, rather than quantity.
Then I explored a few books, listened to several podcasts, perused through several websites, and what I discovered is this: French women are from another planet.
Oh, and they never get pimples either.
See what I mean? Anyone who fits that description is either a Stepford wife or simply not human. And yeah, they probably don’t get colds either. Which is a shame, because I’d really like to learn how to cough without sounding like I’m hacking up a lung.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “They’re just using generalizations to make a point, Christi! We always do that when talking about other cultures.”
Yeah, yeah, I get that. (And thanks for spelling my name correctly, by the way. I appreciate it.)
All I’m saying is that even well-meaning and generous stereotypes are ill advised. After all, it’s fairly possible that in a country the size of France — 62,814,233 in the metropolitan area by a 2014 estimate (like I said, I did research) — where no doubt over half are female (honestly, how is it that women don’t rule the world yet?), there might be a few French women scattered here and there who are having a bad day, can’t get their hair to look right, are sometimes clumsy, and get the occasional pimple. And for the sake of these women, we should cut them a little slack.
Now, that being said, I’m sure even the clumsiest of French women keeps a tidier closet than I do. She also, no doubt, knows how to make one helluva good Hollandaise sauce too, using a whisk and a saucepan.
Yep. I’m sure that’s the case.
So, … just curious … do we have any French women visiting us today? Oh, yes?
Well, hi there! Glad to meet you. I like your hairstyle, by the way. Very becoming. You know, we’re pretty well wrapping things up here, so if you wanted to check out another blog, now would be a good time. Nothing more of interest here. I bet you’d really like The Simply Luxurious Life. She has an absolutely smashing recipe for a lemon tart. Not that you need a recipe. But go ahead, you should visit her site. I don’t mind. Thanks for stopping by!
… Is she gone yet? … yeah? … Whew! That was a close one. I was a little afraid she might be offended by the recipe I’m going to share with you.
Because when it comes to Hollandaise sauce, you can totally cheat and use a blender. Just don’t tell anyone in France, okay? I’m still hoping to learn how to sneeze elegantly.
Hollandaise Sauce in a Blender!
Hollandaise sauce is very versatile, making a wonderful accompaniment to fish, chicken, vegetables, or of course, eggs. Just don’t freak out about the amount of butter in it, okay? Learn from the French and appreciate eating real food for a change. So elegant.
- 3 egg yolks
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
- dash of cayenne pepper (optional)
- 10 tablespoons unsalted butter (I told you not to freak out!)
Melt the butter slowly in a small saucepan, or microwave until just melted. You don’t want to overheat it.
Put the egg yolks, lemon juice, salt and cayenne if using, into blender. Blend at medium speed until it lightens in color, about 30 seconds.
Turn the blender down to a lower setting and drizzle in the hot melted butter very slowly, keeping the blender running. After the butter is fully incorporated, continue to blend just a few seconds more.
Go ahead and taste the sauce. You can add more lemon or salt to it, if you’d like, or a bit of water if you want it thinner. Pulse the blender a little to incorporate.