Hotel Horror, With Complimentary Breakfast

Husband and I took a little excursion this past weekend. We were going to yet another wedding and Husband had a meeting to attend, but we also wanted to relax and enjoy the small, mountain hotelcommunity in which we were staying.

Small mountain community. Sounds like the setting for a horror flick, doesn’t it?

You know, it’s always a treat to see what Husband’s deal-sleuthing will grant us. We’ve been in charming little bed and breakfast-like places, we’ve also been in five-star hotels with fantastic breakfast bars. It’s part of the thrill — you never quite know what you’re going to get.

When we walked into the lobby of this hotel, we saw a sign: “Please pardon our renovations. Thank you for visiting us!!!”

Hmm. Three explanation points. That should have been the tip-off.

Overall the lobby looked quite nice. In fact, the whole first floor looked nice. I checked the breakfast area – it was huge! And the long counter looked promising for the next morning’s breakfast.

Hotel HallwayOur room was on the third floor. The elevator opened out to a hall with a flickering bulb. The exit sign hung at end, crooked. Apparently renovations had not yet reached third floor.

Click to Jump to Recipe

Our room was small, but clean. One bed, one chair, one small table. Husband put our suitcase on the bed, pronounced the room serviceable, then left for his meeting. I think if spooky background music had been playing, he would have found the tune charming.

Husband is like that. Not the most intuitive of guys. Were this a cabin in the woods with an ax murderer hiding in the shed, he would have invited him in for drinks.

I looked over some of the hotel papers, there was a coupon for Tony’s Pizza. Best chicken wings in town! 10% off! Eventually I found the WiFi password: hotelguest1234. Not the most creative people, these ax murderers.

After writing on my laptop for about an hour, I started to feel a bit peckish. Throwing caution to the wind, I ventured forth to find a vending machine.

The endless hallway ...
The endless hallway …
I wonder if I'm allowed to be here?
Am I allowed to be here?
I'm thinking I shouldn't be here ...
I’m thinking no…
Gah! Wrong turn!
Wrong turn!
Who breaks in a door from the bottom?
Who breaks in a door from the bottom?
Yeah, okay, definitely not the right way!
Yeah, definitely not the right way
And what kind of hotel doesn't have a vending machine?!
No vending machine here
Wait ... this looks promising ... could it be ...
This looks promising …

Dejected, I return to my room. I comfort myself with the fact that, 1) I should get a good breakfast in the morning, and 2) I safely eluded the ax murderer.

However morning breakfast did not live up to my expectations. Cold cereal and gooey pastries were the main fare, although there was a waffle iron so I went with that. Unfortunately, there was also an impatient woman monitoring my waffle’s progress.

“It seems to be taking a long time,” she said. “Are you sure you did it right?” I nodded as I poured my orange juice. Waffle irons aren’t rocket science, after all.

“I don’t know,” she continued. “Seems like it’d be done by now … sure seems to be taking a long time … did you flip it? You’re supposed to flip it.”

Yeah, I’d like to flip you, lady.

“Sure is taking a long time … it might be burning by now, you know? … Maybe you should check it …”

Tired of her prattling, I remove my waffle before it was quite done. Because I’m passive that way. And here’s something I learned: there’s really nothing quite so sad as eating a slightly under cooked waffle on a styrofoam plate with a cheap plastic fork. It is one of the great miseries of this world.

To combat this depressive state of affairs, once we were home I made waffles. We ate them on real plates with real silverware.  No prattling lady or ax murderers in sight.

Joy was mine again.

Happy to Be Home Waffles

  • Servings: 4
  • Print


  • 3 eggsWP_20150831_18_34_52_Pro[1]
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 cup Greek yogurt
  • 1/4 cup melted butter

In a bowl, beat together eggs and sugar until thick and pale. In another bowl, sift together flour, nutmeg and salt. Carefully fold flour mixture into egg mixture, along with the yogurt, until well incorporated. Gently stir in melted butter. Set aside while you wait for the waffle iron to heat.

Use about 1/3 cup batter for each waffle. Close the iron and cook about 3 minutes, until just brown. Serve warm with syrup, fresh fruit or jam.

Author: CJ Hartwell

After spending most of her life in Phoenix, Arizona, CJ Hartwell moved to the middle of Minnesota. Is she nuts? Probably. For updates on her sanity, click on the link to follow by email.

3 thoughts on “Hotel Horror, With Complimentary Breakfast”

  1. Our absolute worst was a hotel in China that turned out to be under major construction when we got there, with a looming deadline to get the construction finished. This being China, the workers had planned to continue working through the night with jackhammers and drills, and, it was the only hotel in this town with a license to take foreign guests. There was bamboo scaffolding all over the place, extension cords everywhere – a health & safety nightmare. Our tour’s ground agent, who was Chinese, threatened the manager with all sorts of dire consequences including pictures all over the internet, if the construction didn’t stop at 8 pm. It did, and the next day she stayed back while we went out on tour, and during the day managed to obtain a temporary foreign-guest license for the other hotel in town (she had connections!). So we moved, and were objects of great interest and scrutiny by the staff at the second hotel. Our rooms in the first hotel were actually ok…and it made a good story.

    Liked by 1 person

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