Cleanliness is Next to Insanity. Also, a Review of Cat Litter.

This last week, I lost my sunglasses. To fully understand the tragedy of this event, you must know that this was my girlfavorite pair of sunglasses. They were stylish, lightweight, fit me perfectly, and were dark enough that if someone was talking to me, I could ignore them completely and they never knew. Oh, and they protected my eyes too.

Now they’re gone and I have to wear my back-up pair. Actually I have two back-up pairs. (I live in Phoenix, after all.) But neither pair is as nice as the pair I lost.

Well, maybe lost isn’t the correct word. I know exactly where they are.

They are wrapped in three plastic grocery bags, knotted twice, and sitting at the bottom of our garbage bin. Our outside garbage bin.

Here’s what happened …

Cat’s litter box needed cleaning and Dog needed a walk. Faced with two such projects, my brain processed the situation quickly and devised a plan that assured maximum efficiency, minimum mess and a quick resolution. For that is how my brain works.

It was high school Algebra that did it for me. Algebra teaches your brain how to think in an orderly manner. Did you know that?

Click to Jump to Recipe

Did I ever tell you that I was good in Algebra? Make that great. I was freakin’ great in Algebra. And my math teachers loved me because I showed all my work and all my work was very, very, very tidy.

My columns were straight, my writing was clear, and I never had spills on my homework. Ever. Because if anything spilled on my homework, I had to start over. Ergo, I never spilled anything.

Where can I get one of these? Does anyone know?
Where can I get one of these? Does anyone know?

I believe a few of my math teachers had my homework framed and hanging in their living rooms. It was that beautiful.

Anyway, back to the litter box/dog walking situation. I had my three plastic grocery bags (double bagging is for amateurs), I was wearing my heavy duty rubber gloves (the ones with extra long cuffs), Dog’s leash was attached to her collar, my sunglasses were perched stylishly on top of my head, and the back door was open, allowing for a speedy departure once the dirty deed was done.

A word now about cat litter.

If you share a residence with a cat, then I know you are aching to find out what type of cat litter I use and my opinion of it. This is the main topic of conversation among those us who live with cats. After all, there’s something like 100 different brands of cat litter and among those brands, 75 different varieties. Or there about.

WP_20151009_17_00_53_ProHave you seen this one? It promises that you will “never dump out the litter box” again. It’s called “Super Clump.” It clumps so well that nothing breaks apart. No small bits fall through the scoop, meaning all remaining litter is perfectly clean and you will never have to dump the litter box.

By the way, has anyone else ever been so disgusted with the condition of a litter box that you truly did throw out the entire litter box, plastic bin and all? And then had to drive to the store in the dead of night to purchase a new one?

Anyone?… no?

Huh. Guess it’s just me, then.

Anyway, back to the litter. Okay, the thing about this Super Clump litter is that it creates a SUPER clump of litter. So unless you clean the litter box every day — oh hell, make that twice a day — that clump is going to keep getting bigger and bigger until it’s one huge, massive clump of litter, and you can’t break it apart. A jackhammer can’t break that bastard apart. And it’ll weigh something like 300 pounds!

tiggerSeriously, how much can one cat drink? Where is all this liquid coming from? That little plastic litter scoop sure ain’t gonna pick it up. Maybe a garden shovel, I don’t know. All I know is that I did my darnedest trying to finagle the clump over to the side of the litter box and negotiate it into the bag, without getting it anywhere near me or even my gloved hand, because then I might have to cut off my hand.

I nearly had it… and… plunk… there went my sunglasses. Right into the litter box. On top of the huge freakin’ clump of litter.

I realized in that instant there was nothing — no amount of scalding water, no amount of bleach, no form of radiation — that could ever convince me those sunglasses could be worn again.

Sigh.

It’s not easy being clean.

This reminds me of the time I had to throw out a truly marvelous toaster due to it being contaminated by a mouse. Remind me to tell you about that sometime. For now, it’s time for our recipe.

Have you ever seen a litter box cake? They’re Litter-Box-Cake-630x428really disgusting.

You don’t need a recipe to make one though. Here’s a quick run-down: You crumple one yellow cake and one chocolate cake into a brand new litter box, spoon vanilla pudding on top, sprinkle vanilla cookie crumbs on top of that, then warm up tootsie rolls, roll them in your hands until they look like you-know-what and add them to the cookie crumb “litter.” Take this to your next party when you don’t want to be invited to any more parties.

The recipe I’m giving you is one people will actually want to eat, and relates better to my post because it’s a dump cake. (Get it? — dumping the cat litter?) Dump cakes are great. All you do is dump the ingredients in the pan and put it in the oven. You don’t even stir. In fact, most recipes will state very emphatically, DO NOT STIR!!! As if the whole thing will explode on impact. Problem is, every recipe I found used store-bought cake mixes and pie fillings, and some even used soda.

That’s not the way we roll, friends. Here at Feeding on Folly, we like to use the best ingredients possible and I’m pleased to share with you our delicious result. This is made with fresh fruit and no cake mix in sight.

Apple Crumb Dump Cake

  • Time: 35-40 minutes
  • Difficulty: It's called a dump cake. How hard can it be?
  • Print

Ingredients:

  • 3 or 4 apples, peeled and thinly slicedWP_20151011_16_30_30_Pro
  • 1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons flour
  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • 3/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • Cinnamon and nuts, optional
  • 1/2 cup butter, melted
  • 1 cup very hot water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees; butter an 8-inch baking pan (or use cooking spray). Put apples slices in pan and spread evenly.

Stir together flour, oats, sugar, baking powder and salt. Sprinkle evenly over apple slices. Sprinkle cinnamon and nuts on top, if using. Pour melted butter on top, add boiling water. All the powdery bits should be covered, but if not, poke them with a spoon until they are. (You don’t have to stir, but you can if you want. Nothing will explode.)

Bake at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes. Serve warm with ice cream, but it’s good at room temperature too.

Be sure to clean the kitchen when you’re done.

Enjoy!

Author: C. J. Hartwell

Christi lives in Phoenix with Husband, Son, Daughter, and Dog. She enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, but as she doesn't live anywhere near a beach, she's usually in bed by 9:30.

18 thoughts on “Cleanliness is Next to Insanity. Also, a Review of Cat Litter.”

  1. Oh, thank goodness the recipe was not for the litter box cake — eww! The apple cake sounds good. The story about the super-clumping reminded me of my hubby’s having his gallbladder out recently and what they first thought was “a cancerous mass” turned out to be what they referred to as “sludge”, a huge clump of whatever makes up sludge 🙂 I do understand about throwing out the sunglasses, although if they were my very favorite pair …

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are not the only one. There have been a couple times when I have thrown out the whole box because the superclump seemed to be seeping in to the plastic. I just can’t stand the thought of a marinated box. marinated in disgusting-ness.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s a hard choice, isn’t it? The only reason this one is a problem is if I go too long in-between cleaning, which is easy to do because it absorbs the odor well too. (Yet another plus!) But if you miss a few days, you have a mammoth clump to deal with. Hope it works out for you!

      Like

      1. Yeah, I don’t know why it’s so hard to not clean the litter box every day. I’ll do it for my friend’s cats when they are out of town, but for my own cat, I wait way to long and then it takes forever.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Confession: While I haven’t chunked the box, there have been plenty of times when I’ve approached the Terror Tray with trepidation, clutching a scooper sprinkled with holy water, taken one look at the mayhem inside, and uttered “aw, HELL no” and then proceeded to throw out the entire contents. And it amazes me how quickly the little heathens can desecrate a litter box. I walk by the first time and the particles are as smooth as an untouched beach and you can almost hear the waves rolling in. Thirty minutes later, it looks like the local sanitation plant exploded and there were no survivors…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The dump cake bears an eerie similarity to my family’s apple crisp (the cake had more flour and the crisp doesn’t have water — maybe that’s why it’s crisp.) And I don’t blame you for pitching the sunglasses. I dropped a pair…well, let’s just say, in the restroom once, and didn’t bother retrieving them.

    Liked by 1 person

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