I have a dilemma. Maybe you can help me.
About two years ago, I started getting another woman’s emails. Not all of them, of course. Just a few, and only from time to time.
You see, she has my same name, identical spelling, and she clearly was intent on having her full name as her email address, regardless if someone else had it already. She just decided adding her middle initial would take care of it.
Only she’s not that good at remembering she added her middle initial. Either that, or an “l” in between an “i” and “h” is not that easy to detect.
So I’ve received a few of her business emails (she has a photography studio), I’ve received notes from her daughter’s third grade teacher (Sophie struggles in math), her older daughter takes dance lessons (tuition is due the 15th of each month), and I’ve even received messages from her tax adviser asking for clarifications on a few deductions (good call, Arthur; they sound fishy to me, too).
It occurred to me that were I a less scrupulous person, I could really wreck havoc on this woman’s life. After all, I have access to several of her business contacts, her children’s school, and her accountant. In some of these emails I saw her personal information, including phone number and home address.
Sounds like a horror story in the making, right?
I’d like to point out that I emailed her and told her what was going on. I even forwarded her a few of the more important emails. Did I hear back from her?
Nope. Nada. Nary a word.
Weird, right? You’d think if nothing else, she’d want to tell me thanks for the heads up, or simply say, “Gosh, we have the same name? Cool!” But nope. I got squat.
Seems like I’d have no compunction at all in messing with her a little. But not me. I’m Little Miss Honest.
Only now… now I’m faced with overwhelming temptation. Why is this, you ask?
She signed up for an online dating service.
Christopher wants to meet with me… er, her. Also, there’s Kevin. And Aaron and Charles.
Between you and me, I don’t think I could go out with a Kevin. I mean, once you start lowering your standards that far, there’s no telling what you’ll wind up with.
Christopher seemed nice, though.
I’m a little torn as to what I should do. Should I try and contact her again? Let her know she has admirers?
Or do I contact them and set up a meet and greet? Oh! — how about I give 
them some interesting facts of my likes and dislikes?
Hmm… this could be fun.
(Frankly, I’m a little pissed that she’s been on this single site for only one day and she’s already had more date requests than I did in all four years of high school.)
So please tell me, if were you in my place, what would you do?
Feeding on Folly 
That is too funny. I have a pretty cook on name, but do I ever get anything different/fun like you in emails? Nope. I guess you could be super nice and forward them, but frankly, I’d probably just delete them! It would serve her right!
Common, I meant common, darn auto correct!
No, I like cook on name! It sounds fascinating, and slightly edgy!
loved reading this! and as if she didn’t even thank you for forwarding her emails. I say have some fun and give Kevin or Christopher a chance – who knows what might happen!!
Ha! Yeah, it would make a great story if nothing else!
Well this is funny and this type of story must run in the family. Your brother was sending me an email but missed a little number and it went to another person who had my name. Well she wrote back to him advising of the mistake. Then because there was a sharing of the same last name, an email pal was started. They communicated back and forth comparing family history. They found no match but still talk when brother forgets something.
That totally sounds like something he’d do! I’m a little surprised this second Beth hasn’t been invited to our family gatherings!
What a cool gig! The angel in me says phone the woman (you have the number) and explain — however — the devil says… Why not set up a meeting? Have Christopher and Kevin both show up at a specific place at the same time with a single red rose and, since they have no idea what you look like, you could be there casually hanging out in the vicinity. But you have to promise to write it up.
That would make the coolest movie plot! Do you write screenplays? I give you full permission to run with that. When it comes to casting, I want to be played by Amy Adams. 😃
Amy Adams, Chris Pine, Ryan Gosling — I smell a blockbuster…
Absolutely! Here’s how it works – the story begins with two bloggers. One mentions her email trouble, the other eggs her on to set up a meeting for the lonelyhearts (that’s you, played by Robert Downey, Jr). She plays along, hoping to get at least a good 5 or 6 posts over it, but then she sees them and decides, what the heck? They’re cute, why not actually meet them? So she calls one of them to go to a nearby cafe, and once he’s gone, she gets to work. Your character serves as her angel/devil on her shoulder.
This is rom-com gold!
That’s a great idea – we already have a mainstream movie about email (You’ve Got Mail!) but to my knowledge there’s no mainstream movies about blogging. I think we need one!
Yes, I think we’ve been neglected for far too long! 😄
Brilliant! But since the angel/devil is never seen we need a better voice (if you get to be Amy Adams I get to be Morgan Freeman) Plus she needs to either meet both lonelyhearts separately and be torn between them or choose the wrong guy at first. It builds up the tension. We need a title and how are you going to spend the money?
Totally with you on the tension angle. And since we need a happy ending, the “wrong” suitor will turn out perfect for the alternate Christi, who shows up in the climactic moment, after she finally checks her spam folder.
For a title, we could use the blogger’s mantra, “I Am So Blogging This.” Since that’s the first thing I said when I got the email from the dating site.
The money goes in the bank, so I can quit my job and pursue writing full-time. You?
uber-brilliant! Love the title. I’m feeling the red carpet already — just two years of re-writes to go. The money goes to a flat in London for a season (or Paris) so I can finish the novel and live happily ever after…
That’s funny! I’m a neurotic person and I have this fear that some crazy person is using my photos and etc on dating sites and other weird stuff. I doubt even of it is actually happening, it’s just my active imagination. Like you, I’d be honest and sweet enough to tell someone and feel a little miffed they didn’t say thank you or anything. People think I’m weird, but I think they are weirder.
It really is weird she didn’t respond, right? Especially as both Sophie’s teacher and Arthur the Tax Accountant got back with me. I mean, sheesh! I thought a woman with my name would show a little class! ☺️
I hate being ignored. I hate more than anything. Call me all the bad names you want, but don’t ignore me! 😉
I wonder if your emails are going into her spam account and she never looks at it…but I agree with everyone above — it’s a great setup for a movie!
Oh fine, give her the benefit of the doubt! 😉
Actually, that does make sense, although Arthur the Tax Accountant said he’d let her know. And somehow I felt I could trust Arthur.
I would like to say accountants are all trustworthy types, but in general the smaller the firm, the more they get away with.
I don’t know…Arthur may be a shady operator…
You know, it’s not as if you didn’t try. And this person clearly doesn’t care enough to actually correct her mistake(s) since it seems to keep happening. I think you can reach out to Christopher and say, “Hey – you’ve emailed someone else by mistake, but if you’re up for it I would love to have coffee and chat for a bit.” Or something like that.
Well, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
1. You meet Jack the Ripper on one of your dates with ‘her’ responders
2. You fall madly in love with someone new, but he was looking for a red head and you are blonde
3. You demolish her ability to ever get on a dating site again, leaving her loveless, childless, barren for the rest of her life and she ends up as a liberated woman free to do all the things you have wanted to do, but you got snagged by someone on this dating site.
So, why not?
I can always count on you for making me laugh, Margo! I especially love number three – so poignant and hysterical at the same time!
I’m loving the movie angle here, and even though no one asked, this is what I would propose for the plot: Amy Christi thinks this mismatched email lark is fun at first, even though her annoyance does grow slightly, until one day she intercepts an email which makes it vaguely clear that Amy Christi 2 has been kidnapped and a nefarious Amy Christi 3 has been posing as Amy Christi 2 and even 2’s own family hasn’t noticed the difference. This makes Amy Christi 1 very sad about Amy Christi 2, so Amy Christi 1 and her best friend Amy Cathi 7 travel the world looking for Amy Christi 2, which allows for many location shoots in exotic locales where people eat strange food and wear pretty, free-flowing outfits, and the climax occurs with 1, 2, 3 and 7 all dueling each other with chopsticks in the basement of an abandoned tapas restaurant in Madrid…
You have presented me with a new challenge in this creative endeavor, that being, how to include your quality adventure yarn into our traditional rom-com trope, without causing total confusion and hysteria among the movie-going public.
Idea!
We first turn it into a graphic novel! That will allow us to bring in every conceivable plot twist by illustrating our blogger’s wild imagination. Let’s add some dream sequences too. Those are cool.
Once the graphic novel hits it big, it’s made into a movie, ala Scott Pilgrim.
This is gold, baby! Solid gold!
I’ll have my people get with your people and we’ll have this thing rolling in no time…
This is too funny to be real! But if real, use your writing talent and humor and email her again. I want to know what you decide…follow up blog!
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