- Did it hurt?
This is the one all non-inked people ask. Like they actually don’t know if a needle inserted into your skin a million times a minute might cause discomfort. In response, I say, “No, it tickled.” I’ve no idea how many buy it, but if there’s a sudden increase in people getting tattoos and screaming out, “I thought it would tickle!” that’s why.
- What’s it of?
I usually say mine is a skull with a snake slithering out of the mouth. So far no one has believed me. Most have laughed. I find this disheartening.
- Is it somewhere I can see?
Now we get to the heart of the matter. They’re really hoping it’s on your buttocks. Mine is on my back. This seems to disappoint them.
- Do you have any others?
They’re seriously hoping you have one on your buttocks. Just lie and say you do. It”ll make them happy.
- You don’t seem like the type who’d have a tattoo.
I hear this all the time. I’m not sure what it means. I’m thinking I should wear more leather.
- Wow. I see you in a whole new light now.
Again, no idea what this means. Maybe I should quit my job, buy a Harley and take to the open road. Honestly, I had no idea how much a little design on my back would change my life. (Sounds like a good premise for a novel.)
- Why did you do it?
I think they’re hoping for a story of drunken revelry and morning regret. Either that or a mid-life crisis. When I tell them mine is covering a large scar, they seem a little relieved. Because now they’re able to put me back in the tidy little box where they once placed me.
Maybe I should get a skull tattooed on my buttocks, just to shake them up a bit.
What do you think?