Create a World of Epic Learning!
The Battle against ignorance is set to begin!
Objective: Educate students and reach retirement without suffering burnout or loss of hope for the next generation
Battlefield: Your Public High School
Ready to begin? Select a game figure:
Strength: Knows proper use of semicolons
Weakness: Dead white guys
Weapon of choice: Biting Sarcasm
Social Studies Teacher
Strength: Has seen it all before
Weakness: Has seen it all before
Weapon of choice: Weary Resignation
Strength: Duh. They know Math.
Weakness: Awkward social interactions
Weapon of choice: Rightful Arrogance
World Language Teacher
Strength: Can swear in eight languages
Weakness: Forgets what country they’re currently living in
Weapon of choice: Extreme Tolerance
Strength: Can make likenesses out of dirt
Weakness: Did too many drugs in college
Weapon of choice: Quirky Instability
Strength: Has enough chemicals to blow up entire city
Weakness: Forgot where they put the chemicals
Weapon of choice: Cool Objectivity
Students hand work in on time: 3 points
Answer 20 emails during staff meeting: 5 points
Entire class scores Proficient on standardized test: 10 points
Dodge training session for “new” program: 15 points
Go whole day without a student falling asleep: 20 points
Voted favorite teacher by senior class: Automatic win – Game over!
Good luck, and may the best (or most persistent) teacher win!
–Illustrations by R.J.H.