I know a woman who uses a lot of pet phrases.
And by ‘a lot of pet phrases,’ I mean, ‘Please, dear God, make it stop.’
But however many times a day I hear, “It is what it is,” or “It’s all good,” or “Just sayin’!” — I haven’t said a word about it.
Not. One. Word.
Which just goes to show people can change.
Back in high school, I had a friend who developed the annoying habit of ending all her sentences with “you know?” And this bothered me so much that every time she said it – and I mean every time – I’d say, “No, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
Which now that I think about it, may explain why I didn’t have more friends in high school.
But that’s not the point of today’s post. Today, I wish to focus on the words and phrases people use when other people are talking.
It’s those little words people say, or sounds they make, in order to prove they’re listening and want to keep the flow of conversation happening. It’s the, Oh yeah, Uh-huh, Mmm-yeah, or I hear ya, combos.
I’ve done some studying into the matter, and I made a few observations:
- These words and sounds are most often used by very friendly extroverts. The more extroverted, the more often they’re employed.
- The inclusion of these words appear to have no relation to the intelligence of the person using them. Geniuses or morons, it makes no difference. As long as they enjoy talking, they use them.
- The words used may vary depending on where the person is from, or even current trends.
- The usage of these words is highly contagious. If a friendly person adds a new word to their repertoire, other friendly folk will soon be saying it as well.
It’s the regional aspect of these phrases I find most interesting. When we lived in the Midwest, it was common for friendly folk to use ‘Sure,’ or ‘Sure, yeah,’ or possibly, ‘You betcha.’ But if you were really on a roll, you might get ‘Sureyeahyoubetcha.’
“You know how it is when someone really gets on your nerves?”
“Sure.”
“And you have to put a stop to it, but there’s only so much you can do.”
“Sure, yeah.”
“I mean, those restraining orders can be such a nuisance.”
“Sureyeahyoubetcha.”
Another aspect I find interesting is how people latch on to key phrases and make it their own. For instance, I know a guy who uses the Yeah, but never just one. It always happens in sets of three: Yeah-yeah-yeah.
“So I’ve been thinking a lot about people who have pet phrases.”
“Yeah-yeah-yeah.”
“And I’m thinking there’s no way a jury would convict me, right?
“Yeah-yeah-yeah.”
“I mean, some crimes are totally justified.”
“Yeah-yeah-yeah.”
The beauty of these words is how they make the other person feel validated and understood. They are not alone, their emotions are entirely reasonable, and in this other person they have found an ally.
Lately, I’ve noticed an increase in the usage of “Right?” in conversation. Have you heard this one? It seems to be a variation of the “I hear ya,” or “I’m with ya there.”
I have to admit, I rather like it. I also appreciate the way it’s used in conjunction with other words of conversational encouragement.
“I swear, if I hear ‘It’s all good’ one more time, I’m going to scream.”
“Right?”
“But then I was looking online, and I think I found a solution.”
“Yeah-yeah-yeah.”
“So I called up Hit Men R Us, but I swear, all I ever get is their voicemail!”
“Right?”
It should be noted that in nearly all cases, these conversational enhancers are accompanied with a smile, a few nods, and plenty of eye contact. Which probably explains why I don’t use them myself, except occasionally in online comments where eye contact is rarely needed.
But please, don’t let that stop you from using them. Feel free to add Yeah-yeah-yeah, Sure, and You betcha to all your conversations.
Because truly, some of us need all the validation we can get.
Right?
Feeding on Folly 
Sure, but it is what is you know like, people are people – just sayin’ right?
Ding-ding-ding! You win the prize for Fastest Pet-Phrase-Laden Response! Your trophy will arrive via FedEx, or UPS, or Postal Carrier, or pigeon. Probably pigeon.
Thanks for playing!
Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week, tip your server.
I’m old enough to remember when “fursure” and “right on” swept the neighbourhood.
Yeah, those were dark years. I think that’s about the time the ? was added to every single sentence spoken: Like, we went to the store? And he was there? And I was, like, totally over it? *shudder*
I’ve been saying “I don’t know” a lot lately and my best friend is always saying, “Yes you do!” I actually appreciate it, because I don’t like that I keep saying that.
Sounds like you have a good friend!
What I don’t like is when women say sorry for everything. I wish there was an effective way to stop it, but if I ever point it out they say, “Sorry!”
I say that a lot too….ugh!
“At the end of the day…” URGH!
Oh, yeah, that’s a bad one. Close relation: When all is said and done.
How do these things get started? That’s what I want to know. 🙂
And all this time I thought it was ya-sure-ya-betcha, with a Swedish or Norwegian accent.
Ah, see, we were living in Nebraska at the time. That may account for the difference in dialect. 😉
That phrase was from my Minnesota days, many many moons ago. I’ve never heard it in Oregon.
I have a friend who ALWAYS says ‘at the end of the day,’ to which I always reply, ‘is night.’ She only pauses for about half a second before then ignoring me and carrying on. She also loves to say ‘then he/she/I turned around and said…’
“Kevin said my bum looked big in them jeans, so I turned around and said that’s not nice.”
I always think, well what direction were you facing that you had to turn around to finishing speaking?
“Is night” – that’s perfect!
Maybe her life is staged like a dramatic production, did you think of that? Actually, that’d be a humorous way to live. Every time you’re talking with someone, you turn away with your arms crossed and talk in the opposite direction.
Also, that Kevin is a real jerk.
Haha! I turn away, cross my arms and talk in the opposite direction every time Spawn ask for money.
Kevin is an absolute jerk, but Kevin was also right.
Is it possible to SMOL (smile out loud)? That’s what you made me do. Just sayin’. ;>)
I believe it is possible, but let’s keep it to ourselves, okay? I’m afraid it might catch on, and then we’d have the horror of knowing it started here. 😉
I also SMOLed through this – hey, isn’t smoled a type of light? think you just lit up my day.
Oh my, SMOL is catching on darn fast! 😀
I’ve not heard of this light so had to google it. You’re right — it’s “small molecule organic light emitting diodes.”
Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
You taught me a new word, Claudette! Thank you for that. Now the challenge of working smole into a conversation…
hehe
I know I say right? A lot of times. I’ll have to work up a whole repertoire 🙂
It doesn’t surprise me you’re a “right?” person, and I mean that in the best possible sense! I believe conversations with you would always be validating, as well as entertaining. 🙂
That’s very nice of you to say! I’d feel the same about you 🙂
Great post, Christi. I too thought about this subject recently. I’m very interactive (yeah, I talk a lot, even when I’m actually listening). Just to see what would happened, for a few days I listened silently to people, maybe nodded, while looking intently into the speaker’s face. Mostly I noticed this made people uneasy and p.o.’d some others. ‘Know what I mean? 😉
It’s funny, some people seem genuinely surprised you’re listening to them. I’ve often suspected that’s why really talkative types seek me out, because they think since I’m so quiet, I must be a good listener. What they don’t know is that while I’m listening, I’m also studying them and planning my next blog post. 😃
Funny, and enlightening.
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
[…] excited! I had a hunch as to who put the note up and later it was confirmed. It was the coworker I alluded to previously. She of the “It is what it is” […]
Other words :
Like, you know, like( usually teenagers)
LOL
Whatever
Talk to my paw
OMG
Anyways( notice the s at the end)
Lovely post, CJ.
I think the people who use these words fumble for good words to use and then take on whatever is trendy at that time.
Have you noticed some people who carry out these sort of conversations( the talking part, I mean, not the listening partner), talk at the top of their voices, in crowded conferences during coffee breaks or while they walk down a workplace corridor ( so they ensure everyone listens to them).
Susie
Yes, I have noticed that! In fact, the co-worker I had in mind as I wrote this was the loudest person in the office. The days she was absent were so peaceful and quiet. 🙂
Talk to the paw! Ha, that’s a funny one!