Last week I used a public restroom.
Horrifying, right? But I didn’t have a choice. And since I was in Target in a decent part of town, I thought I was safe.
What I didn’t realize was that it was previously occupied by someone who hates public restrooms more than I do. We’re talking a germaphobe of epic proportions!
How do I know this? Because every surface she came in contact with was covered with paper towels.
They were wrapped around the faucet handles she used to wash her hands, no doubt for the recommended 30 seconds. They were on the door handle she used to vacate the room, no doubt hurriedly.
They were even on the handle you use to get the paper towels, which still confuses me. I mean, how did she get the paper towel to cover the handle she had to use, in order to get the paper towel?
Maybe she keeps a stash in her purse?
And what of the toilet itself? Since the restroom lacked disposable seat covers (does anyone really believe those work?) she covered one of the seats with layers of toilet paper.
I took a picture, but I didn’t want to gross anyone out by having a picture of a public toilet on my blog. Feeding on Folly has standards, after all.
So, for the sake of decorum, I attempted to draw it.
Do you know how hard it is to draw a toilet seat covered in toilet paper? Be kind.
What sets this form of “vandalism” apart from the usual restroom atrocities – unflushed toilets, mysterious pools of liquid, toilet paper thrown hither and yon – is that this was perpetrated by someone who actually prefers it clean.
Which brings up a very good point, and it’s something I’ve wondered about for some time now: Exactly who ARE these people who trash public restrooms? Seriously, I’d like to know. Are they pranksters who were never taught good hygiene? Do their actions derive from painful childhood memories involving sanitary surfaces?
Someone should do a study on this. I think it would be a good use of taxpayer money.
What’s more, while I’ve never been a single issue voter, if a candidate ran on a platform for Cleaner Public Restrooms, they’d get my vote.
I bet the Germaphobe would back them too.
Shouldn’t be hard to track her down. I’ll just follow the trail of paper towels.