Setting the scene:
Your family is gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. You haven’t seen these people for a whole year, and you were perfectly fine with that. But now you’ll be with them and you’re still feeling raw from events a few weeks ago. Will you survive? This game can show the way!
Objective:
To survive Thanksgiving dinner with some shred of dignity
Your success or failure depends upon the following behaviors:
You arrive early and help Aunt Joan in the kitchen, even though she corrects everything you do: Advance 5 spaces
You spend the entire day in front of the TV eating Doritos: Go back 3 spaces
Your cousin says she’s leaving after dinner to catch early Black Friday deals; you refrain from judging her (out loud): Advance 2 spaces
Your Uncle Henry says something racist; you remain silent: Go back 5 spaces
Your brother-in-law makes a sexist joke using a word that rhymes with wussy; you say, “Whoa, man, not cool! Women are goddesses who deserve our respect!”: Advance 5 spaces
Aunt Joan forgot the whipped cream; you offer to run to the store and literally run to the store, returning an hour later: Advance 1 space
A family member says they’re in AA and you say, “Wow, sucks to be you!” as you pour your third glass of wine: Go back 12 spaces, you monster
Whenever someone mentions the election, you burst out singing “To Dream the Impossible Dream” at the top of your lungs: Advance 3 spaces
You find at least five instances to use “post-truth” in conversation, as it is the word of the year: Advance 2 spaces
The turkey is dry and you mention it: Go back 6 spaces, jerk
A rich family friend who lives in a gated community and sends her kids to an all white school is wearing a safety pin; you discretely slip a copy of this article into her purse: Advance 3 spaces
Before leaving, you use your Uncle Henry’s toothpaste to write “Love Trumps Hate! We Shall Overcome!” on his bathroom mirror, then leave enough money to buy a new tube of toothpaste, ’cause that used a ridiculous amount of toothpaste: Advance 4 spaces
Good luck, and may the forces of love be in your corner!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! 🦃
And happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
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Thanks, Diane. I hope you enjoy the day with minimal cooking and lots of love! 😉
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This made my day!
To the AA family member, so cruel. Hilariously funny, but so cruel.
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Initially I made that one kind, then realized it wasn’t funny so I reworked it. You see what the pursuit of humor does to my soul? It has shriveled into a dark, hollow, crusty thing. Funny as hell, but crusty.
But hey, glad it made your day! 😊
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I live in Canada so I get TWO Thanksgivings — My cup runneth over!
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Wow! Glad I’m not the one cooking. Although the idea of extra days of pie sounds good. Enjoy!
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it’s the turkey sandwiches
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Great game. My Family members agreed to avoid talk about politics. It’s thanksgiving evening so we have at least made it thru one day!
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Good thinking! Hope you enjoyed the day!
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Read too late for my actual Thanksgiving gather. Might make this into a plaque to next year though.
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Good call! Depending on the political climate, next year might require a new edition. Collect them all! 😃
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We are so alike, which is a thrilling but scary sensation…
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Yeah, I get that. It’s like some sort of weird egg splitting thing happened between our mothers outside their wombs, traveled between multiple states, and waited around a couple years before implanting in uterus, accounting for our slight age difference. You should write a story about it. Or I should. Or you should. Or I should. Or…
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