Jesus Loves Himself a Hot Mess

Straight from our ‘I Can’t Make This Stuff Up’ files, I bring you:
jesus-loves-this-hot-messJESUS LOVES THIS HOT MESS SHORT SLEEVE T-SHIRT *CHOOSE YOUR SHIRT COLOR (PLEASE ALLOW 3-5 BUSINESS DAYS. EXPEDITED SHIPPING N/A)

This may seem like an odd entry for our Bad Theology collection, but you’ll just have to trust me. This little number annoys the crap out of me. Not only as a Christian, but as a female.

It’s kind of like when I see a woman wearing something saying Spoiled Brat, Princess, or High Maintenance.

How about we not embrace these stereotypes quite so enthusiastically, hmm?

Also, and I’m saying this in the kindest way I know how: Just. Grow. Up.

From a theological perspective: Yes, Jesus loves her. We can safely say that she’s forgiven too. Both for her messiness, as well as her fashion sense.

The problem as I see it is that she seems perfectly content to stay in her messiness. Perhaps even proud of it.

Far too many Christians focus on the forgiveness angle of the faith, and completely forget the next step. That of transformation.

I read somewhere – can’t remember where – the following:

Jesus accepts you just as you are, but he refuses to leave you that way.

In other words, all those bothersome little things that make up messy you, you’re supposed to work on them. It’s true, we will never be perfect, but every day is a new day to become a little less messy. And a little more patient, more forgiving, more accepting, more understanding… more of whatever it is that’s lacking and preventing you from being the Whole person you’re called to be.

And for crying out loud, stop it with the t-shirts!

I’ve always wondered what a person hopes to achieve by displaying their faith on their clothing. Do they think people will see it and convert?
“Oh wow, she’s a hot mess and a Christian! That’s the religion for me!”

Or maybe she thinks by declaring her status with Jesus, she’ll attract a man who’s also a hot mess with Jesus? If so, I wish them well.

On the other hand, I rather doubt any guy who chooses to be with a self-declared hot mess can be much of a catch himself.

Personally, all I can see happening from wearing this t-shirt is that she’ll be guaranteed no one sits next to her on public transportation.

As we close today’s entry in our Truly Bad Theology series, it occurs to me that we need some sort of rating system. Something to denote how far off the mark our items truly are.

Here’s what I came up with:

Jesus Loves This Hot Mess T-shirt has earned itself (drum roll):

https://i0.wp.com/emojis.slackmojis.com/emojis/images/1450319441/51/facepalm.png

one Face Palm

 

Last week’s entry, a church announcement asking worshipers to drop their donations in the manger to pay their 12k in budget arrears, earned itself:

https://i0.wp.com/emojis.slackmojis.com/emojis/images/1450319441/51/facepalm.pnghttps://i0.wp.com/emojis.slackmojis.com/emojis/images/1450319441/51/facepalm.png

https://ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-with-cross-300x225.jpg?w=65&h=49

two Face Palms and
one Get-Thee-Behind-Me-Satan

By the way, if you come across anything you find questionable theologically-speaking, be sure to drop us a line using the Contact link above.

In the meantime, stay wary folks. It’s a mess out there.
Vaya con Dios

Author: C. J. Hartwell

Christi lives in Phoenix with Husband, Son, Daughter, and Dog. She enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, but as she doesn't live anywhere near a beach, she's usually in bed by 9:30.

13 thoughts on “Jesus Loves Himself a Hot Mess”

  1. I like the t-shirt! (I don’t believe anyone plans to remain a hot mess, really.) As for money at the Creche, ugh! Face-palm on that one here, too. As sis-in-law once reminded us, the first Masses were said in people’s houses — not something with a $12,000 roof!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll have to respectfully disagree with you, as I’ve met enough Christians perfectly content to remain a mess to believe otherwise. But then, we’re all a bit of a mess from time to time, I just choose not to advertise it. 😉
      And yes, home services served the community well for many years. There is much to be said for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think statement T-shirts overall, should be the subject of mass burning. They basically say, “Pay me some attention!”
    The rating system however, is a stroke of genius! Very funny.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I guess they are – probably more than the message is just the desire of being noticed. Which may explain why I never wore shirts with writing on them, even in high school.
      I always thought it was just me not wanting people to stare at my chest. (Nothing to see here, folks! Move along!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Same here. my sweater stretchers were already the size of two puppies by the time I was in high school, so I had no further need to draw attention to them with lettering across my chest.

        Liked by 1 person

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