Dear Blogger Who Recently Followed Me,
Please accept my heartiest welcome to our Feeding on Folly neighborhood!
Take a seat anywhere you like… well, not there… that’s where Brian of Bonnywood always sits… no, not that one either, that’s Patricia’s spot. She needs the side table for her tea…
Oh, geez, just take the one next to the sofa, will ya?
Okay, feeling settled in now? Good.
You can’t imagine my surprise last Saturday morning when I learned you were following FoF. Not that it’s unusual having new followers, but normally there’s a process involved. Such as they read a few posts, like one or two of them, then decide to follow.
You, on the hand, first followed, then liked 17 posts in a row! My goodness!
What’s more, you’re obviously a speed reader, as all 17 of those likes were accomplished in only one minute. Most impressive!
But then I went to my stats page and saw this:
Now before you take pity on my low stats, let me explain:
- This was 5 am on a Saturday.
- According to our Market Research, the Feeding on Folly neighborhood is made up of two types of readers: Night Owls and People-Who-Goof-Off-at-Work. Both of these types of readers are asleep at 5 am on a Saturday.
- Yes, in my imaginary world, it is 5 am at the exact same time all across the globe. Please don’t burst my bubble.
So let’s look at what these stats are actually saying. Somehow, this one visitor (that’s you) managed with just one view (of my home page), to like 17 posts!
How is this possible?
There’s only one way I know of, and that’s through the WordPress Reader… which only shows small blurbs from posts… like, a few sentences at the most…
Once again I look at the email notifying me of your follow. These are the posts of yours it suggests I read:
The first one listed – SINCERITY IN OUR ACTIONS – brings to mind my favorite 5-letter word: Irony.
I went ahead and read your post, because I’m sport for anything 5 am on a Saturday, and within the first few sentences I determine English is not your first language. Yet you write all your posts in English.
To that I say: kudos to you!
Truly, I admire anyone who speaks other languages, but to write in another language to boot? Well done!
And while I may quibble that your definition of sincerity may not match my own, I can say I admire your open request for critical comments. Or, as you put it, “I request you to kindly appraise the write ups and critically comment.”
Beings how I used to work as an editor, I thought, “Heck, I’ll give it a shot!” But in the end, correcting the post of a non-English speaker left a bad taste in my mouth and, frankly, gave me a headache.
I did, however, find one thing I can suggest.
I quickly surmised that your title “SINCERITY IN OUR ACTIONS” is without a doubt the shortest headline in your repertoire. Most are thus:
Speaking as one who got high marks for her headlines in Journalism school, let me give you a word of advice: Just because it fits in a tweet, does not a headline make.
A better, more pithy, headline might read:
Life Sucks; Get Over It
Another headline of yours:
Could instead be written as:
Puppies Are Cute: Get One
See my point?
That’s all I wanted to say.
Honestly, I wish you all the best. And if I should bump into you on the WordPress Reader, I’ll be sure to send 17 likes back your way.
Until then, dear follower of mine, I remain,
Very Sincerely Yours,
30 thoughts on “In Which I Question the Motives of a Blogger Who Recently Followed Me and Politely Suggest He Stop Using Super Long Blog Post Titles”
As my Momma would say, Bless his heart! This was both hilarious and informative. A double win! LMAO
Aw, thank you! And thanks for the tweet as well. 🙂
um, I’ve thought your blog titles were a little short. Thanks for finally using one at the proper length.
Haha! Well, terriblyhappytoobligesogladyouappreciatelongtitlesasIwillnowtrytomakethemmygoalfromhereonout.
Heehee, remind to never get on your bad side, or to write a blog title that’s a paragraph long.
As long as you make it a sincere paragraph long title, I promise I shan’t complain. 😉
I actually think that blogger might be the songwriter for Fall Out Boy.
Never considered that
You make a strong point
The kids are all wrong the story’s aloof
Heavy metal, rock my heart
Or something like that
Rock on 😉
You gave us a laugh with this post
Good! Always nice to know when laughter travels overseas. 🙂
I’m horrible at headlines. My editors always changed them anyway, so I kinda stopped trying.
Never EVER trust an editor, and I’m saying this as a former editor. 😏
Ha! Good advice. S/he usually did a good job, but every once in a while I winced at what they’d done when I saw my piece in the newspaper.
There are many such “bloggers” (and I use that term loosely)- makes for an amusing moment or two when I hop off to look at their sites.
Love the way you wrote this one, such polite snarkiness. 🙂
Aw, thanks Claudette! It can be tricky, balancing between full frontal snark and polite behavior. I’m not always sure I make it, so appreciate the thumbs up. 😊
You are one of the most accomplished bloggers of this, always enjoy reading your posts.
Bravo! They’ve got nothing on you…
I admit, a part of me – the more human part – wondered if I dared publish such a thing. Then my other part took over and said, what the hell, it’s not like the guy will ever read it! 😉
I am rolling. Rolling, I tell you. “Life Sucks; Get Over It” Rolling! (And thanks for the shout-out.) 😉
You’re most welcome, and always happy to send chums rolling. 🙂
And suddenly we seem to be in a Herman Melville novel… 😉
You had me at the title! ;>)
Ah good! My headline prowess is still intact! 😀
Do you believe in equal brevity in comments? If so, then I suspect I am guilty of grievous offense!
No, the longer the comment, the greater sincerity. 😉
Oh dear. You’ve opened the Pandora’s Box on that one, dear. Now I never dare leave anything less than a manifesto. I will try to keep them under forty pages though…
I love the idea of a manifesto! I want a manifesto! OMG, my blog needs a manifesto! MUST WRITE MY MANIFESTO!
Hilarious! And I am actually reading your posts.
I guess so! I had fun with this one. Even if it made me a little mean, someone had to say it.