A Dream on Divorce & Overcooked Chicken

Man holding bouquet of flowersYesterday was the anniversary of when Husband proposed to me.

You’ll note that had he waited a week, he could have proposed to me on Valentine’s Day. The fact that he did not worked to his advantage.

I like to think he knew that had he waited until Valentine’s Day to propose, I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Really? So this is how it’s going to be?”

Anyway, I bring this up now because about a week ago, I had the oddest dream where Husband said he wanted a divorce because I overcooked the chicken.

To that I replied, “But you don’t even like chicken!”

And he said, “I know! That’s what makes this so hard!”

Jump to recipe

Now honestly, you’d think after 33 years of being together, a guy would show more flexibility in matters such as these.

But nope. Not Dream Husband. He was being a real putz.

bedThe dream continued, as these things often do, into the division of our property.

He said I could have the car, which sounds pretty generous, right? Except I knew it was really low in gas.

So… yeah.

Then he said I could have the house too, but I said, “Oh no, you don’t! You’re not sticking me with the house!”

(On account of the backyard needs weeding, and I really hate weeding.)

In the end, I got the houseplants, Dog, and the empty gas tank. Husband got the T.V., motorcycle, and weeds.

Now the thing about the dream was that it was so darn real. You know the kind of dream I’m talking about? The kind where you wake up and think, did that just happen? Am I divorced now? Dang. I should fill up the car.

Well, I checked and sure enough, Husband was still next to me and looked reasonably content to stay there. I figured all was well.

Only in the very next instant, I realized we were having chicken for dinner. I mean, holy cow! What are the odds?

I know I could have changed plans, but the chicken was already defrosted. And there’s only so long you can put off defrosted chicken.

Talk about having a lot riding on a meal!

Spoiler alert:

The chicken turned out fine, and we’re still married.

One more thing:

I’d like to point out that when I told Husband about my dream, he assured me he’d never leave me on account of overcooked chicken.

“Now steak, on the other hand… ”

Good to know the man has standards.

 

Oven Fried Chicken

  • Servings: 4 to 6
  • Difficulty: lovingly simple
  • Print

There’s only one way Husband likes chicken, and that’s fried. However I prefer it roasted. This recipe is proof of how compromise works in a marriage. It’s a combination of both options, and we both like it. Plus, it’s a bit healthier than fried chicken, and far less messy.

Ingredients

  • 1 cut up chicken (bone-in)*oven-fried-chicken
  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt**
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • 1/4 teaspoon cracked black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

Set oven to 425 degrees. Put oil and butter in 13×9-inch baking pan and set in oven as it preheats.

Beat egg in a small bowl, on a plate mix together flour and seasonings. Dip chicken pieces in egg and dredge in flour mixture until coated.

Place chicken in heated pan and return to oven. Cook uncovered for 30 minutes. Turn chicken and cook for 20 to 30 minutes longer, until largest pieces are done.

*You don’t have to buy a whole chicken; you can just buy the pieces you prefer. For instance, my family prefers drumsticks and wings because we’re heathens. Perhaps you prefer breasts, as orthodox people do. Good for you.

**If you start with frozen chicken, or even if you don’t, I highly recommend putting the chicken in a brine bath the morning you plan on cooking it: In a bowl, put about 2 Tablespoons kosher salt and enough water to cover the chicken and set it in the fridge. Not only will it defrost the chicken, it seasons it perfectly. If you use this method, skip the salt in the flour mixture.

Author: C. J. Hartwell

Christi lives in Phoenix with Husband, Son, Daughter, and Dog. She enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, but as she doesn't live anywhere near a beach, she's usually in bed by 9:30.

17 thoughts on “A Dream on Divorce & Overcooked Chicken”

  1. To that I replied, “But you don’t even like chicken!”
    And he said, “I know! That’s what makes this so hard!”

    I could just imagine that line on a comedy show, it made me laugh that much.
    I thought that chicken bones were meant to be the portent of future omens, but I never knew what power overcooked chicken held!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Now that you mention it, often my dreams are like shows or plays, and I’m an observer. This particular one I was definitely part of it, but I’ve had others where if it gets boring or I don’t like the direction it’s going, I’m able to change it. (It was something I worked hard at when I was a teenager plagued with recurring nightmares.)
      I realize this has nothing to do with your comment. Just tossing out a bone. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ooh, I can do the same! Although people often look at me as though I’ve been imbibing from the crack pipe when I tell them this.

        Just tossing out a bone…ah, I see what you’ve done there…:)

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m always amazed where my dreams lead me. I can see how people go nuts with dream analysis, wanting to find meaning for them. Given the wackiness of most of my dreams, I’d be afraid if they meant something!

      Like

      1. 🙂 Yeah, that happens to me too missing the comments and the lulu dreams). Somehow trying to convey the weirdness of dreams when you are awake just doesn’t really work well 0 but we know how strange they are!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. We may be snowed in tomorrow and I think I’ll try your recipe. Charley made American Chop Suey tonight. He says you must add the ingredients in steps. I made it once and just threw everything into the pan at once. It was the last time I was allowed to cook this particular meal. Now if I can figure out how to mess up everything I make, he may take over all the cooking around here. No divorce in the future, so far, though.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. C.J, Yes, It did work out fine and I also made a strew. We’re getting another snow storm tomorrow, so we made plenty to insure lots of leftovers! Charley thinks he can improve on the chicken recipe and I’m thinking this could turn out very well, indeed! Heh Heh Heh! (That’s my evil, devious laugh.) Thanks and stay warm. Clare

        Liked by 1 person

  3. OK. this is pretty good. This means my husband will probably not divorce me over the floating house problem I had last night (in my dream). Additionally, I think he would quite like your oven fried chicken. What a novel idea! We do have ovens in Australia, and chicken surprisingly. We don’t always eat our koalas and emus. I think the salt bath is a fab idea, I’m a bit suspicious about the Kosher Salt though. So this salt would not do for rubbing into Pork? is it a bit sensitive about the whole European Union thing? Like…I only have ordinary salt. It has no sensitive religious beliefs. Would that do?
    Lol. Love your post. Maybe you’d like a look at mine. Onyajay.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You raise some important issues. Rubbing kosher salt into pork might be heresy. I’ll have to check on that. As for using table salt, all the instructions I find on brining either use kosher salt or sea salt. My guess is it’s the salt-snob’s fault, and the good old agnostic salt shaker is just fine. But don’t blame me if the salt police knock on your door. Just saying.

      Liked by 1 person

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