More Bumper Sticker Theology

Bumper Sticker Christian

Time for round two in our quest to find a Bumper Sticker worthy of a good Theologian. Please drive safely and use your blinkers.

  1. Jesus Christ: the only product you need…

Jesus Christ as Pepsi Cola

I wonder if they’ll start offering taste tests with the Real Thing? No wait, I think Jesus was marketed as The Real Thing too. Gah! I can’t keep my Colas/Saviors straight.

2. An attempt at humor…

Following Jesus

Of course, the only reason we moved up this close was to read the flippin’ bumper sticker.

3. A chance to save your soul…


Gotta be the speediest conversion in history. Either that, or you honked because the guy cut you off. Either way, count yourself redeemed!

4. And if we can’t get you with humor, let’s give fear a shot:


This fish leaves a bad taste in my mouth. How ’bout you?

5. From a friend of the mapmaker


Ever seen the bumper sticker that says, “Don’t Follow Me, I’m Lost Too!”
Think of the poor sods following this guy around, hoping he knows the way to San Jose. Sad, isn’t it?

6. Um… is this a joke?


7. Humor & Religion are a tricky pair


Geez – All we’re doing is driving behind you, man. What did we do to deserve your contempt?

8. Question: why is non-Christian humor always funnier?


9. On a more serious note, this one pisses me off big time


Anyone who’d put this on their car is seriously lacking in compassion and intelligence. To imply that anyone suffering from depression is simply ungrateful, or that all they have to do is count their blessings… well, they can just take this bumper sticker and… (***censored***)

10. And this one just confuses me

Question Mark


Can anyone explain this to me? All I can think is they’re saying we should never have doubts or question… um… what? The Bible? God? Our faith?
If that’s the case, then a big thumbs down for this one too. One, for being confusing as hell. Two, for implying true faith never allows for doubt.

So after reviewing 10 bumper stickers last week, and 10 more today, we come up with a grand total of ZERO bumper stickers worthy of our trusty Theologian.

This Space Shall Remain a Sticker-Free Zone

Until next week,
Vaya con Dios

13 thoughts on “More Bumper Sticker Theology

  1. Oh those are so cringe-y. Especially #8. Usually picked by someone completely unaware that the rapture was invented out of whole cloth in the 1800’s or so and was not at all part of a traditional interpretation of any part of Scripture. But I digress.

    I don’t have any bumper stickers on my car, because it seems to me that whatever you choose as a bumper sticker is something you’re choosing to scream at the world. It’s like a first impression on steroids. I’m not opposed to bumper stickers in theory (and I’ve seen some really funny ones!) but I haven’t found any that I personally would feel comfortable using to define myself in the minds of people driving by.

    1. Same here, no bumper stickers for me.
      Have you seen the studies that show how drivers with bumper stickers – no matter what the stickers say – are more aggressive drivers? Making us the polite ones, I guess.
      Sometime I’ll get around to doing a post on the rapture biz, though it may turn into a 15-part series. Pretty sure you’re right and it was the 1800s it popped up — an American creation to boot! *sigh*

    1. Years ago a friend of mine bought her first car and she slapped a religious bumper sticker on it. Can’t remember what it said, but I thought it was bad and after I explained it, she agreed and replaced it with another. And then another, and another, until she got one that simply said “God Loves You.” I couldn’t come up with anything wrong with it, so that one she kept.
      Lesson: Friends don’t let friends drive with offensive bumper stickers. 😉

  2. Although these are cringe-worthy and wrong on SO many levels, I can’t help but find them funny. The thing is, I’m sure that the people who put them up have good intentions, it’s just that those intentions are a bit misguided.

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