This is Samson.
Samson is strong. Samson is very strong.
But Samson is lonely.
Poor Samson.
Samson opens an account on OkCupid.
This is what Samson’s profile says:
Hi! I'm Samson and I am a spiritual warrior and judge. I never drink, shave or cut my hair. Also, I can kill a lion with my bare hands. Seeking: A woman who understands me. Religious preference: Parents are hoping for a nice Jewish girl, but I'm open.
Samson is watching TV. Samson’s favorite channel is ESPN.
Samson is a Giants fan.
Poor Samson.
Samson checks his phone. Someone liked his profile pic!
Her name is Esther.
Samson looks at Esther’s profile pic:
Samson does not click Like.
Samson is a jerk.
Samson watches TV. The Giants are losing. Samson yells at TV.
Samson checks his phone. Samson has another Like!
Her name is Ruth.
Samson looks at Ruth:
Samson does not click Like.
We do not blame Samson.
Samson goes to kitchen.
Samson grabs a cold one. Samson drinks it. Samson grabs another cold one.
Samson belches.
Samson checks his phone. Samson has another like!
Her name is Delilah.
Samson looks at Delilah:
Samson clicks Like 17 times.
Samson sends Delilah a message.
This is Samson’s message:
S: Hi! I think you're nice. I like your arm thingy. Do you want to go out?
Delilah sends Samson a reply.
This is Delilah’s reply:
D: Gosh, I'm not sure. I need to know you better. Tell me something about yourself.
Samson opens a chat.
A chat is an online conversation.
This is their chat:
S: You want to know something about me? Here's something: I have the jawbone of an ass. Haha. D: Okay. That's... weird. S: I killed 1,000 Philistines with it. Say, you're not a Phillies fan, are you? D: What? Oh. Silly. I know! If you tell me a secret, I'll go out with you. S: Okay. I once ate honey out of a dead lion. D: You're back to weird. Tell me the secret of your strength. S: I'm not supposed to say. Okay, you talked me into it. If you tie me up with rope, I have no strength. So don't tie me up. D: That's too bad because I'm totally into that. S: Kidding! Just kidding! Actually, it's my hair. If you tie up my hair, I'm like super weak. D: Really? S: Kidding! Haha! D: You should meet my cousin Ruth. You'd like her. S: Okay, for real. If you cut my hair, I lose my strength. That's it. Scout's honor. D: Really? That's sounds like another joke. S: I know, but that's it. Swear to You-Know-Who. Don't tell anyone I told you, k? D: Okay, I'll go out with you. S: Cool!
Samson is happy.
Samson and Delilah go out to eat.
Samson and Delilah go to her place.
Samson and Delilah have fun.
This is Samson after their date:
Samson wishes he kept his secret.
Poor Samson.
Feeding on Folly 
Now that took some imagination!
Thanks! I had fun with it.
I think I’ll re-blog it. I’m still laughing 😊
Aw, thanks!
I love the haircut.
Kind regards,
Yeah, it’s not bad. Seems like Samson would appreciate it for the summer. 😉
Reblogged this on A Simple, Village Undertaker and commented:
This made me laugh. I guarantee, yes guarantee, that you will laugh also. Ancient history meets modern technology.
Love it – poor Samson. 🙂
Yeah, the poor guy just can’t catch a break. 😉
Along without any hair, we learn that Samson doesn’t have any brains. lol
Well, you know what they say. The bigger the muscles, the smaller the brain. Smaller something, anyway. 😉
Even if they hadjawed it out longer, it would’ve gone the same way. He should’ve gone with Esther. Then again, Haman would’ve had a different end as well as a lot of Jews in Persia 😀 Delightful post, Christi!
Thanks Roo! I knew you’d catch all the nuances to their tale. Stay tuned, there’s more to come tomorrow! 😉
👍
Bravo! This was definitely worth the wait, not that I doubted it for a second. Fave bit, of course, is the reveal (there was actual guffawing and startled-cat running), but a close second is “I like your arm thingy.” Killed me….
That was my favorite line! In fact, after I wrote it I had to take a break because I couldn’t stop giggling. Kind of embarrassing to admit, actually. 😊
Everyone thinks Samson lost his strength when Delilah came around – it’s just a translation error: he only went weak in the knees when she fondled his hair. She then had him wrapped around her finger. I still can’t figure out why people think his story is unusual…
Good point. He’s lucky they didn’t have a daughter together. Can you imagine him with a little girl in his arms? His brain would be mush. 😉
So glad you wrote it. P.S my firstborn is called Esther.
Love it! It’s a good strong name, as is Ruth.
Glad you liked the post!
Love this! Thank you!
Well, thank you! So glad you enjoyed it! 😊
Oh yes…poor Samson. I wish Trump would have Dalilah do something with his hair! Maybe that’s what gives him such a pouty mouth.
What an interesting idea! If someone were to sneak in and shave his head, oh, now that’s a tale I’d love to read!
Like your post!
Thanks!
Hahaha. Poor Samson. I can’t imagine him on a dating site. This is an awesome, funny dating site story. I’m sharing it. 😀
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
Reblogged this on susieshy45 and commented:
Bible story with a modern take.
I have reblogged this post on susieshy45.wordpress.com.
Thank you, !
Well, thanks Susie! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂