I’ve been on a mission to clean out my closet and change up the old wardrobe. My goal is to eliminate morning angst.
I want to be able to pop into the closet, grab a shirt, pants & blazer — and by that I mean any shirt, pants & blazer – and boom, I’m out of there. Classy, chic, and completely office appropriate.
My mission is nearly complete.
But in pursuit of my dream, I have stumbled upon a most alarming situation. Something I believe will undermine women’s role in society if we don’t take action immediately.
What it is, you ask, that has me in such a dither?
It happened while I was doing the whole Google thing. My search terms being ‘classy’, ‘chic’, and ‘office appropriate’. I couldn’t help noticing that some women – and by some women, I mean nearly every woman wearing a button up shirt – seemed to have extraordinary difficulty buttoning up.
These are just a few of the poor dears I came across:
What bothers me the most (and if you’re a woman, it should concern you as well), is that no one pointed it out to them!
I mean, come on! This woman missed TWO buttons!
If a man has his fly undone, doesn’t someone take him aside? Whisper in his ear? Give him a quick heads up?
Of course they do!
But these poor women had no one. NO ONE!
And just look at this next woman! She missed a good three or four buttons, and even forgot a bra!
Aw hell, she’s even in her pajamas!
Couldn’t anyone tap her on the shoulder and whisper, “Uh, dear, you might want to freshen up a bit before you walk into that meeting.”
And lest you think it stops here, oh no my friends. It gets worse. It gets much worse.
There are women who didn’t just forget buttons, they forgot to wear shirts!!!
I am deeply concerned, my friends. Deeply concerned!
Were a man to walk into a meeting dressed as thus, he would likely get laughed out of the boardroom. Or else have dollar bills stuffed in his pants.
Honestly, how can we hope to be taken seriously in the workplace if we can’t even manage a button or two? From whence shall our help come?
Therefore, I call upon my fellow sisters to make a pledge to one another: If we see each other unbuttoned, unzipped or unsnapped, where we definitely need to be buttoned, zipped, and/or snapped, we will discretely let each other know.
And please, oh please, I beg of you: should I ever forget to wear a shirt, please let me know!!!