She’s Come Undone: Crisis Looms in Women’s Office Wear

I’ve been on a mission to clean out my closet and change up the old wardrobe. My goal is to eliminate morning angst.

I want to be able to pop into the closet, grab a shirt, pants & blazer — and by that I mean any shirt, pants & blazer – and boom, I’m out of there. Classy, chic, and completely office appropriate.

My mission is nearly complete.

But in pursuit of my dream, I have stumbled upon a most alarming situation. Something I believe will undermine women’s role in society if we don’t take action immediately.

What it is, you ask, that has me in such a dither?

It happened while I was doing the whole Google thing. My search terms being ‘classy’, ‘chic’, and ‘office appropriate’. I couldn’t help noticing that some women – and by some women, I mean nearly every woman wearing a button up shirt – seemed to have extraordinary difficulty buttoning up

These are just a few of the poor dears I came across:

 

What bothers me the most (and if you’re a woman, it should concern you as well), is that no one pointed it out to them!

I mean, come on! This woman missed TWO buttons!

Pink shirt

If a man has his fly undone, doesn’t someone take him aside? Whisper in his ear? Give him a quick heads up?

Of course they do!

But these poor women had no one. NO ONE!

White shirt
Alas, I fear this gal was unable to button up. She clearly needs the next size up.

 

And just look at this next woman! She missed a good three or four buttons, and even forgot a bra!

striped suit low cut

Aw hell, she’s even in her pajamas!

Couldn’t anyone tap her on the shoulder and whisper, “Uh, dear, you might want to freshen up a bit before you walk into that meeting.”

Really? ANYONE?!

And lest you think it stops here, oh no my friends. It gets worse. It gets much worse.

There are women who didn’t just forget buttons, they forgot to wear shirts!!!

 

 

I am deeply concerned, my friends. Deeply concerned!

Were a man to walk into a meeting dressed as thus, he would likely get laughed out of the boardroom. Or else have dollar bills stuffed in his pants.

Honestly, how can we hope to be taken seriously in the workplace if we can’t even manage a button or two? From whence shall our help come?

Therefore, I call upon my fellow sisters to make a pledge to one another: If we see each other unbuttoned, unzipped or unsnapped, where we definitely need to be buttoned, zipped, and/or snapped, we will discretely let each other know.

And please, oh please, I beg of you: should I ever forget to wear a shirt, please let me know!!!

Author: C. J. Hartwell

Christi lives in Phoenix with Husband, Son, Daughter, and Dog. She enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, but as she doesn't live anywhere near a beach, she's usually in bed by 9:30.

22 thoughts on “She’s Come Undone: Crisis Looms in Women’s Office Wear”

  1. Well, those ladies don’t work at my office. If they did they’d be buttoning up and looking for jackets in about 15 minutes. The A/C here is kept just above freezing most of the time and the exposure shown in those pictures could like to hypothermia or frostbite in the extreme case. And you could do what I do, I have 5 pairs of blue pants, 6 blue shirts, and a blue sweater – never have a problem dressing for the office…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s possible that these wayward lasses have some motor-skill issues that were not properly addressed by their high school guidance counselors. Probably not. In any case, we need to help them in some way, so let’s refer to one of our beloved mantras: “What Would Samsy Do?”…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Samsy would do a lot of things, I’m not sure how many of them would involve a button. But it is an interesting thought. As is the thought of these wayward lasses having had high school guidance counselors, though I suppose they did. Most everyone does, right? I mean, they don’t exactly have that home schooled look to them, do they? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Geez Louise, (yes, I know your name isn’t Louise, but I can’t think how to rhyme Christi!) what is MOST important is that there was not a single OLDER unbuttoned woman amongst them. Do not OLDER women have the right to be unbuttoned? (they certainly have the eyesight to excuse it), are not older women deserving of scorn for their functional dressing tips too? Or is it that no-one wants to see what the unbuttoning of an older woman looks like? Button-fascists are our there, be ever vigilant.

    P.S. I think my brain has also suffered from un-buttoning this evening, perhaps I need to be taken aside and given a quiet hint … 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I didn’t notice that! Ageism has once again reared its ugly head!
      Rhymes or near rhymes for Christi: misty, twisty, bitchy, crispy, frisky, itchy, nifty, risky, shifty, tipsy, and my personal favorite, whisky.
      Have at it. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  4. There was once a radio station in Phoenix where the top three buttons were optional. I use to avoid it. It was always awkward ’cause I never knew where I was supposed to put my eyes. Eventually i just bought sunglasses.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, see, you’ve hit upon my favorite reason to wear sunglasses. The darker the better. As well as why I pity men when dealing with such spectacles as shown above. Especially the woman in the pajamas. I mean, what the hell? How do you not look at what is clearly most visible?
      So yeah, keep the sunglasses on. It’s just safer that way.

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  5. Christi, once again your post made my day! I gotta say, back in the day none of these fashions especially bothered me. I tried it once. Just once. And I admired some of women that didn’t give a care what others thought was appropriate. The offices in which I worked, we really worked and had little time to consider fashion. However, we know what the woman sales rep wearing clothes on duty as they are modeled here was really about – job security. Right? More times than not, the woman dressing like that didn’t know what she was doing – but who noticed?

    I seriously want to know if the professional world has changed so much that if peer pressure didn’t force you to rethink your fashion choices, management would. I’m older now, so I actually don’t give a rip, but thanks Claudette, for the heads up.

    That being said, anyone that watches television or movies knows to expect women wearing night club finery in the office, in court (those especially crack me up) or as federal agents on patrol? Seriously, don’t all women run hard (often through a crowd), silky blouse flapping in the breeze, in 4+” spike heels with a drawn semi-automatic or fully automatic handgun? Now that’s comedy! In case of reality checks, I keep a hotel sewing kit in my bag, complete with extra buttons, and I’m not afraid to use them. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, that was weird — I found your comment in my spam folder! I hadn’t checked it in a while and was shocked to find 212 comments. I nearly deleted them without reading but thought, well, you never know, there might be a legitimate one. And there you were! 🙂
      The places where I’ve worked have always had a more practical air to them, so sky-high heels and low necklines would have looked ridiculous. That being said, my very first job was at a grocery/department store, in the housewares department. Our manager was a woman who clearly had aspirations for a higher position. She dressed like she was a high-level executive in a Fortune 500, which made her pretty useless for the job we actually did. On the other hand, I learned a lot by watching her. Meaning, just do the opposite and all will be well.

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      1. Much as WordPress upgrades the spam filter randomly diverting welcome comments between followers remains a mystery. I hope you’re glad you found it promptly. You started a lively convo there, indicating a great post.

        Liked by 1 person

            1. Okay, that brings up a good point – how did you add italics to your comment? I reply either on the site or under my little notifications bell, and I’ve never seen a way to bold or italicize.

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            2. I could tell you, but then I’d have to stuff you in a box and pretend I don’t know where it is. Yeah, I tried peeing the instructions from my old cell but you know how that goes… On a serious note, as soon as I find the link to the codes I will email it to you

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