Feel free to stay in the comfort of your own home and join us online. This, my fellow introverts, is your safe haven.
Now let us gather together (not literally together, of course; we respect personal boundaries here), and recite our Opening Prayer of Introversion:
O Holy Silence and Quiet Interlude, we do seek you.
Please make our trembling hearts, which feel deeply, but discretely, Yours. Lead us to that still place within our souls, where we can find rest, and, if possible, keep the noisy people from talking for just one freakin’ minute.
We say all this in the name of the system we hold good and faithful and true, Dewey Decimal.
Amen.
And now it’s time for our first hymn. The words are printed in your bulletin if one was emailed to you, but if you don’t have one, no worries. They’re on the screen too.
As always, you can sing along if you want, or just think the words quietly to yourself. That works too.
I’ll Go Home
(sung to the tune of I’ll Fly Away)
Some glad moment when this party’s o’er,
I’ll go home (go home)
To my place where silence never ends,
I’ll go home (go home)
I’ll go on home, oh Glory
I’ll go home (go home)
When my ride is ready, “Bye and bye”
I’ll go home (go home)
Just a few more weary minutes then,
I’ll go home (go home)
No more mingling and faking friendliness,
I’ll go home (go home)
I’ll go on home, oh Glory
I’ll go home (go home)
When my ride is ready, “Bye and bye”
I’ll go home (go home)
Thank you, everyone. That was beautiful. Boy, those old standards always bring a tear to the eye, don’t they?
I’d like to point out that playing organ for us today (from the comfort of her own residence, of course), is Beatrice Milford from Lincoln, Nebraska. Thank you, Beatrice, for sharing your gifts with us, however privately.
Now it’s time for sharing our joys and concerns. If you have any you’d like to share, please type them in the box below. Don’t be shy.
Though if you are shy, that’s okay too.
Katy in Melbourne: I have a joy. Yesterday at work, my boss approved my request to work more from home. I start next week. Three days at home, two at the office. Hallelujah! Joel in Austin: I have a concern. I’m a student and in two weeks, I have to give an oral report in my English Literature course. Please pray for me. Pneumonia would be nice. Or maybe a brief coma. Felicity in Seattle: I just want to say how thankful I am for finding this church. I feel like this is a place where I can be myself, let my hair down and get crazy if I want to. Not that I want to. Well, you know what I mean.
Yes, we do, Felicity.
Thank you everyone for sharing. We also received a number of private messages from individuals not comfortable with voicing their concerns in a private forum. We respect that.
And now it’s time to recite our statement of faith:
We believe in the Triune Behavior of Introspection, Self-Awareness, and Not Speaking Until You’re Spoken To and Possibly Not Then Either.
We believe in Thinking Things Over for a Really, Really Long Time Before Acting on Them, and Then Thinking a Little Longer.
We believe a few trusted friends are far better than many friends, and we uphold every person’s right to refuse a hug when they don’t want to be hugged, and oh, if only everyone did.
We believe in the building of more libraries, the sanctity of quiet spaces, and the necessity of a kitty cat on our lap and/or a doggie at our feet.
We believe in a Brooding Spirit,
The Holy Contemplation,
The Forgiveness of Faking Friendliness,
And the Joy of Creativity, forevermore.
Amen.
Now, before our final hymn, I’d like to draw your attention to a few events happening this week. As always, newcomers are encouraged to attend at any time, and remember, everything is offered online.
Of course.
Monday Podcast
Coping with Extraverts at Work: Strategies for Surviving Committee Meetings, Group Projects, and Coworkers with Pet Phrases
Tuesday Video Series
Establishing Boundaries – Handling the Extraverts in your Life, Episode 5: Violence is Not the Answer
Wednesday Webinar
Recluse or Hermit: Choosing the Right Lifestyle for You
Thursday Choir Meeting & Potluck
Please email our director, Winifred Placida, if you’re interested in joining. She’ll send you the music so you can sing from home. If you’d like to join the potluck, send us an email and we’ll give you the details once we figure them out.
Friday Book Club Meeting
Online discussion of the new book: I was an Extravert Wannabe – Confessions of a Closeted Introvert
We hope you’ll find time to join us for one or more of these activities. And remember, if you have any ideas for future events, please don’t hesitate to text us.
And now it’s time for our final hymn. I think you all know it. Beatrice, will you start us off, please?
How Great’s My Home
(Sung to the tune of How Great Thou Art)
Verse 1: O Lord, my room, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all these four walls mean to me
I have my books, my laptop and my Netflix,
It’s all I need, for an evening of pure glee.
Chorus: Then sings my soul! I’m finally all alone:
How great’s my Home! How great’s my Home!
Then sings my soul, I’m finally all alone:
How great’s my Home! How great’s my Home!
Verse 2: When through the woods, and forest glades I wander
And read Thoreau, and hear about his beans,
He make good points, perhaps a bit pretentious,
Though I gotta say, his cabin sounds sweet to me.
(Chorus)
Verse 3: When a friend should come, to a point of understanding,
And drive me home, what joy shall fill my heart,
I’ll tell them thanks, and promise I’ll call them real soon,
And then proclaim, “My Home, how great thou art!”
(Chorus)
Thank you all for joining us today. Please be sure to sign our guest book on your way out, and remember: There is nothing wrong with you! You are perfect just the way you are!
And now, let us all rise for the blessing:
May your books be plenty
And your interruptions few.
May no unwanted attention
Ever shine upon you.
May peace be in your home
May social obligations be few
And may the extroverts in your life
Finally start listening to you.
We’ll leave you today with a quote from our Patron Saint of Introverts, Greta Garbo:
I never said, “I want to be alone.” I only said, “I want to be let alone! There is all the difference.
And let all the Introverts say: Amen!
Note: The inspiration for this post came from Brian of Bonnywood, who very generously gave his permission for me to organize this Church, even though it was his idea.
Thank you, Brian! 🙂
Feeding on Folly 
I am so joining this church! Just the right place for me.
See, I just knew this would be a thing! This world needed a place where introverts could hang out, get their needs met, and completely ignore the fact anyone else was there. 😉
Did I miss the lead in to this? Regardless, if Andrew and C. J are in, sign me up.
No, there was no lead in, just full incorporation.
When we have the requisite number of disciples, I’ll give you a call. (Sure hope this doesn’t wind up in martyrdom.) 😉
I sang every song in my head and read every prayer in a prayer voice in my head. It took forever to read this LOL you crack me up 😂
Okay, well just imagine me writing the dang thing! It was about a month ago I started it! 😀
This is so pitch-perfect that tiny tears of joy are plinking on my keyboard. 😉
Isn’t it? ❤️
Is it obvious I wrote in with you in mind? Cause I did, you know. 😘
Recluse or hermit really is the burning question in my life. Did you know that the expression in French is ‘laissez-moi tranquil’ I love the fact that they use a word (familiar in our own language) that basically means calm – I am very un-calm when perturbed by the extrovert masses. I will now leave this place in my preferred way – seamlessly, like a little whisper 🙂
The French really do have a way of turning a phrase, don’t they? So lovely. And the vision I have of you leaving as a whisper… it warms my heart. 💕
They do. They are justifiably proud of their language but in fairness I am very proud of English too. I’m glad you like that image – it is my truth. I have shared your post with my youngest daughter – a true and proud introvert, she will love it and may well be found singing the hymns in her head I do believe!
My daughter is a proud introvert too! We compare notes from time to time. 😊
Et aussi nous deux!
👭
And I thought for sure the closing hymn would be Silent Night…
EVERY night is Silent Night! 😉
I think I’ve been a member of this church for a long time now but didn’t know it! Now that’s really introverted.
I’m at a lost for words (good trick, actually) but I’m thinking everything from Aimee Semple to Weird Al Yankovic to where have you been all my life. Absolutely brilliant!
Wow! I’m not sure I like the idea of you rendered speechless, but the compliment is swell. 😊
You have joined a very elite group (some would say cult) ’cause I can talk the ears off a dead donkey. Foghorn Leghorn has nothin’ on me.
I say, now I say, that is something!
You, my dear, have excelled with this post. Now, you know I love everything you write, but this one is just so RIGHT. I don’t actually class myself as an introvert – EXCEPT when I am at home. My home is my refuge, my safe place, my calm and content. When I am away, I wish to be here.
I really think you need to register this as a real bone-fide organistion – there are many people who need a safe place to be.
*blush*
Thanks Claudette, that’s awfully kind of you. I enjoyed writing this post very much, so terribly glad you enjoyed it as well.
Golly, if I can evangelize to both the extro- and intro- of the world, imagine the power in my hands! 😉
Go with it – I think you would use it wisely.
While the invitation to your church is quite charming, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. I will, however, offer the following prayer from the Agnostic Church of Covering Your Bases (courtesy of Roger Zelazny from “Creatures of Light and Darkness”):
“Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.”
That’s priceless! Thank you for sharing it, which may or may not mean anything, and yet so much, or not.
Also, pretty sure the last committee meeting I attended was facilitated by a member of that church.
Not the right fit for me, but know quite a few people who’d right at home there (though not actually attending, of course).
No, no, of course not. As long as they attend in their heart, that’s all we ask. 😉
Excellent post!
Unfortunately, it goes against my non-religion to join anything that remotely resembles religion. I would, however, like to pass along my personal group assembly motto: Introverts Unite! … occasionally in small groups for very limited periods of time.
Haha!
I saw a t-shirt that said: Introverts Unite – We’re here, we’re uncomfortable, and we want to go home.
I’d order one, but wearing a shirt with words on it usually means people will talk to you about it. So… no.
This is great! I’m going home in a few weeks. I wonder if my mind will be there. As well as my heart and soul.
Thanks, JC!
I can’t imagine you ever being far from your heart and soul. You seem the most “in-touch” blogger I know.