The year was 1970. I was in the first grade, and I was being punished for believing in Santa.
Rather, to be more clear, I was punished for defending Santa.
You see, an unbeliever in the ranks – a heathen – was casting doubt on his existence. Pointing out irregularities in the Santa Claus canon. Casting aspersions on his good name.
Several of my classmates were listening and their faith was shaken. You could see it in their eyes.
I’d had enough. I proclaimed in a voice for all to hear:
There is so a Santa Claus! He’s been to MY HOUSE!
Gasp!
Unfortunately we were in class at the time and our teacher was not fond of loud proclamations. Even those in defense of Santa.
It was the time-out table for me.
I must pause here, for I need you to understand the overall makeup of our teacher’s time-out table. Only then can you grasp the true horror of what was before me.
Miss September — okay, my teacher’s name wasn’t really Miss September. It was something similar to Miss September. Something like Miss Sembler… or maybe it was Stremble. Honestly, I don’t know.
The fact is, I was never very good with names, even as a child. For those I didn’t recognize or couldn’t pronounce, I’d come up with a close approximation and stick with it. No doubt Miss September corrected me plenty of times before giving up, figuring there were worse things to be called than the name of a centerfold.
In any case, it wasn’t enough for Miss September that a noisy child sat at the time-out table. The point had to be driven home, which was why there was a stack of index cards on the table. Whoever sat at the table had to do so while keeping an index card in their mouth. The entire time.
I had never, in the entire history of my academic career (now spanning kindergarten and a few months of first grade), been punished for speaking out of turn.
I can still hear Miss September’s voice, “Who said that?!” Adding, in disbelief, “Christi? Was that you?!”
Was there a moment of hesitation? A possibility of reprieve given my incredible track record? Was consideration given for the fact my outburst was a necessary one? The foundation of our faith was being challenged! A defender had to rise up!
I was that defender.
But no. Consistency in punishment, that was Miss September’s way. She pointed to the back table without saying a word. I made my way, my head cast low.
The truly frustrating thing was that I had no reason to stand up for Santa.
Santa had never brought me a present. There was no chimney in our house for him to come down, no stockings to fill. My parents never threatened us with “Santa won’t come if you don’t behave,” because we were always to behave. Santa had nothing to do with it. And Santa never came on Christmas morning, presumably, because we celebrated on Christmas Eve. It was our family’s tradition from ages past.
Clearly, Santa and my family had denominational differences.
But being the broadminded people they were, my parents were not Santa-deniers. They never spoke out in favor of him, nor against him. They simply never brought him up.
What I learned, you might say, I picked up on the streets.
My faith was a pure one. Not born out of fear or greed, but out of sincere philosophical musing and sound theology.
Plus, as I said, he’d been to my house.
Many years later, as my mom was showing family pictures to my husband, I asked her who the man was who showed up at our house one December day so long ago, dressed as Santa.
She laughed. It wasn’t a man. (Gasp!) It was the neighbor lady from across the street. The people who bred Boston terriers and decorated their house with blue Christmas lights. It was her.
Honestly, I had no idea.
Back to Miss September’s class: I approached the time-out table, sat down heavily, put the card in my mouth. The tears… oh my friends, the tears! Never has a child suffered so much, nor felt it so deeply as I. Shame and misery were mine.
But the story doesn’t end here, for there was another student at the time-out table. She was a frequent visitor, a regular felon in our classroom. In truth, she was our class clown, and though we weren’t close friends, she gave me a gift that day.
I’m very sorry I don’t remember her name. A better writer would make one up for you. Just name her Angie or Susan or Debbie. Invent a name and run with it. But just as it is with Miss September and my Santa lady with blue Christmas lights, I cannot lie. Her name is lost.
I have failed you. Mea culpa.
All I can remember are two things: her hand sliding across the table until she got my attention, and then, when I looked up… do you know what I saw? This little comic genius had taken the index card, folded it in half, put it in her mouth and was now impersonating a duck!
Soon my tears of sadness were tears of joy and I could hardly stay in my seat due to giggling. My misery forgotten, my day instantly brightened.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, what impact we can have on others? Whether we dress up as Santa (remember ladies, it’s an equal opportunity position), or we cheer up a tearful child with a goofy face. It’s the little moments of kindness that matter.
So as we make our way through this holiday season — indeed, as we approach a new year — let’s look at the ways we leave our mark on others. The memories we give them, the words we leave them.
Let’s make them count, yes?
And please, put in a good word for Santa. There are enough doubters in the world as it is.
First picture: srikanta H. U on Unsplash
Second picture: Author’s own, and ain’t I a cute one?
Third picture: Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash
Feeding on Folly 
Great story. Certainly you didn’t deserve the timeout table. I mean, we all know Santa is real – although I had no idea he was really a lady from across the street. Thanks for the info.
Don’t forget the Boston Terriers. No Reindeer to be found.
Say, you don’t suppose we had that wrong too? 😉
As a Santa supporter myself, and as someone who has had to sit in time-out a time or three, I love this!
Thanks! The real question is, did you ever get a time-out for making a duck face? 😉
How much do I love this? Like arms stretched so wide that it is possible I am going to dislocate at the armpits, I love it. From your inability to remember names – kudos for that …. I am haunted by several and it would make so much more sense to have quietly binned them, to your true and sure defense of FC even though he never gave you a present to the sin bin and the duck faced rebel it is an enchanting and insightful look inside the childish mind of a very smart human
Golly, thank you Osyth!
All this was the result of me finding that one picture, then swoosh, all the memories (sans names) came flooding back. Even to the point I saw her little rebel duck face once again. I confess, it made me giggle.
This is my kind of Santa story, Christi. ❤ You brightened up our foggy, cold morning today – the hens will get over my laughter. (note to self: avoid Reader while waiting on the heat lamp.) I thank God constantly for the "ducky" friends in our lives.
Thank you, Roo. I’m glad it warmed you on a cold wintry day. And I must say, I love ducky friends too. They’re the best kind. 🙂
Love, love, love it. Some things must be defended 🙂
Right?! Sometimes these little 1st grade know-it-alls need to be put in their place! 😉
🙂 – Yes, who do they think they are!
I think this should be made into a Christmas movie. It’s got all the makings of an Oscar winner. You can star as yourself with a double for the little you. We have the mean old witch who spreads lies about Santa. Your comrade who makes cards turn into ducks. And the dog lady who plays Santa with her dogs as reindeer spreading Christmas cheer… a lot of cheer! At which time, all non-believers are tared and feathered. Merry Christmas, one and all!
Haha! Well, not sure about a full-length feature, but a Hallmark movie for sure!
Thanks, JC!
Oh, how you got me with this one. Sweet and charming, with a dusting of justified indignation. This is SO your lane, and it pleases me greatly when we travel this road, not that I don’t find all of your avenues fetching…
Thank you so much, Brian. I’m glad you enjoy my little trips down memory lane.
Spoiler alert: another tale is coming! One of broken dreams, restored hope, and sparkly dresses. Stay tuned!
You poor thing! The index card thing baffles me and seems rather gross. A time out for defending Santa just sends the wrong message during a magical season! A pox on Miss September – well, wrong holiday, but you know what I mean 🙂
haha! Thanks for the comforting words, Diane. Given the time period, however, Miss September was probably considered progressive. 😉
This was a truly heart-warming tale. I love the walks down memory lane almost more than any other writing. I can also add my own two cents.
I worked as a Santa at Marshall Fields in Chicago back when I first moved there. Two years in a row I donned a fake beard and Santa suit and lowered my voice as deep as I could make it go–which wasn’t always deep enough for those doubting Thomases who could overlook a polyester beard and mustache but balked at an alto-tenor Santa.
I may have not been the most authentic Santa, but I always enjoyed myself in the role. (I wasn’t just in it for the extra $1.00 they paid above elf wages, just so you know.) In the spirit of females wearing Kris Kringle camouflage reverse drag everywhere, I salute your memory and am glad you couldn’t tell Santa was missing his pipe and jingle bells.
You’ve made me very happy with this comment, I want you to know that. Both in the image of you donning a fake beard and red suit, and in your clever holiday renaming of… manly bits. If there were an award ceremony for comments, you’d snag ‘Best Overall.’ Mega thanks! 😀
To believe in heroics makes heroes and nothing is more heroic than defying the Time Out Table with a duck face!
She was quite the pistol, indeed. As I remember it, the recess bell rang before Miss September could deal with our ducky friend.
… and from the mists of time and the icy winds of the North Pole, Santa looked askance over her (who knew?) fake beard at the scene unfolding from her Santa Cam of a certain classroom, and gave a gentle smile.
Well now, you’ve latched on to the PERFECT finale to our little tale. Kudos to you, good sir!
I honestly couldn’t stop reading this story of yours. So sad but uplifting. I can’t believe she made you put cards in your mouth😯. Nice point made, let’s be good to one another and believe😊
Well, you’re new here! Welcome and thank you for the nice comment.
Kindness and faith, if we could just manage those two we’d be doing just fine! 🙂