The Blogger’s Annual Performance Review

Blog Title: Feeding on Folly
Blogger: CJ Hartwell
Review Period: January to December, 2017
Reviewer: CJ’s Internal Critic
Note: Beings how this CJ person is currently enjoying some time off work — and sleeping in EVERY morning like the lazy bum she is — I, her Internal Critic, am conducting her Annual Review in her place. (She can thank me later.) 

Blog Description

Hard to say. Is this a humor blog? Food blog? Self-help blog? (Lord knows Self could use some help.)
Describing this blog is like describing the smelly thing you stepped in while walking the dog: Possible, but why go there?

Posts of Note

Your top three posts this past year, both in terms of “clicks” and “likes”, were:

In close running were two other posts: one on Broadway Musicals and one on your Post-NYC Blues. The one unifying thread among all five posts: New York. As in all five mention New York in some fashion. If you had a brain, you’d write about New York more. Or just tag every post New York whether they were about it or not. Or maybe just write it: New York. Give it some thought.

As for my personal favorite, I’d have to say it was the week you missed. Remember that one? You totally forgot what day it was and didn’t publish anything. That was great. You should do that more often.

New York.

Accomplishments

Back in March you created a Facebook page for your blog. Then in late April you went on vacation (New York) and promptly forgot about it. Sometime in September you tried to resuscitate it with about as much enthusiasm as giving mouth-to-mouth to a blowfish. Blowfish

You stretched a bit with your writing with your rambling thoughts on Beauty and a feeble attempt at poetry. Normally stretching is good, but in some cases, e.g., yours, it’s less so.

You added some illustrations to your posts to give them a (*cough*) New Yorker flair. It is painfully obvious, however, that the ones where you bribed Daughter for help (Suicidal Mice) compared to the ones you did yourself (Cursive Schmursive) are vastly different in quality:

The answer? Less drawing, more bribery.

Additional Comments

You are nearing your third full year of blogging when many (okay, it was just me) said you’d never make it three days.

You managed to hoodwink a sizable number of people into following this blog, when everyone (fine, just me again) said you’d be lucky if you got your family to read it.

Maybe I was wrong before, but this time I’m right: give this foolish thing up NOW!  If you continue stretching yourself as a writer and trying new things, you might fail! And you know what’ll happen if you fail? You’ll DIE!

Okay, maybe not actually die, but you know what I mean…

Oh shoot, she’s waking up! I better finish this thing fast. Dang it, now she’s reading something affirming! I hate it when she does that! It only encourages her.

I better hit this publish button fast before she tells me to shut—

Author: CJ Hartwell

After spending most of her life in Phoenix, Arizona, CJ Hartwell moved to the middle of Minnesota. Is she nuts? Probably. For updates on her sanity, click on the link to follow by email.

26 thoughts on “The Blogger’s Annual Performance Review”

  1. You see, if I was your line manager, I’d be giving you Box Mark Outstanding everything. I love your blog – it remains one of the best surprises (surprise only because I didn’t know it was there, not because I had some sort of pre-formed opinion before delving in) of last year. I say long may you ride.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dang. I was intentionally trying to avoid a “best of” post to jump-start the new blogging year, but then you come along with this festive and fine example of how to do it right, and my fires have been lit. All of which indirectly leads me to how I should have started this comment, if I had any sense or focus: Your blog is such a refreshing example of honesty and humor done well that I get a little twitterpated every time I see a new post, and I just can’t quit you… 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I like the idea of being a fire-lighter, blogging-wise! Let’s go with that! Only whatever you do, don’t let your internal critic take the helm. Mine’s a bitch, not sure if yours will be any nicer.
      And lo, you made me think of a certain movie which is due for a rewatch. Does it include Thumper or Heath Ledger? I’ll never tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Fire your Inner-self critic – she knows nothing. This is a fine example of fun, with an underlying thread of good advice , enjoyment and just downright good stuff.
    Never listen to the critics (unless they are saying something good!).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You should go to management and appeal this ridiculous performance review. I love your blog! I am reminded of a poor performance review that I once received while working as an engineer in an orange juice factory. They said I couldn’t concentrate.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Most performance reviews encourage “raise the bar” or “step outside comfort zone”. I encourage you to ignore the former and remain firmly entrenched in the latter. In other words, don’t change a thing. I love your wit and your unashamed honesty. Looking forward to more!

    Liked by 1 person

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