Meditation for the Easily Distracted

Welcome to Meditation for the Easily Distracted. Before we begin, let’s take a moment to… hold on a second, that’s my phone…

Sorry about that. Okay, let’s silent our electronic devices now and take a moment to situate ourselves in our chair or on the floor. Whatever is most comfortable for you.

Meditation 1 (2)

You can cross your legs if you want to, but considering your knees maybe not.

Getting old really bites, doesn’t it?

To begin, let’s take a deep breath… inhale… and let it out through the mouth – fwoosh… another breath in… and fwoosh

Try not to think about what you’ll have for dinner… or how you need to go to the grocery store… or about that weird spot on your arm… (should probably get that checked out)…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Or the sound your clock is making… ticking… ticking… ticking… okay, seriously? We can put a man on the moon but we can’t make a quiet clock?

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Let’s quiet our thoughts… unlike the damn clock… and let’s imagine our thoughts as little bubbles… don’t judge them, they’re just little bubbles…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Watch the bubbles as they float over your head… one by one floating up and down, and… oh, stop looking for the bubbles. There are no actual bubbles…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

I once knew a woman who collected clocks… bet she had over a hundred of them on her wall, ceiling to floor… ding-donging and cuckoo-ing every hour…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Imagine your thought bubbles rising up and down, sometimes stopping — there’s the one about your dinner plans… really need to see someone about the spot on your arm…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

You know, that clock lady would make a great character for a story… hold on while I write it down… where’s my damned notebook?

Breathe in… and fwoosh

Pork chops would be nice for dinner… maybe pick up some crescent rolls… better get some milk while you’re at it…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

You know what amazed me about the clock lady? All her clocks chimed at the exact same time, down to the last second…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

How long do you suppose it took her to get them set like that?…Β Daylight savings must have been a bitch…

Breathe in… and fwoosh…

Aw, screw it. I need to go to the store. This has been Meditation for the Easily Distracted. Until next time– Namaste.

And please, get that spot checked out. I worry about you.

Author: CJ Hartwell

After spending most of her life in Phoenix, Arizona, CJ Hartwell moved to the middle of Minnesota. Is she nuts? Probably. For updates on her sanity, click on the link to follow by email.

38 thoughts on “Meditation for the Easily Distracted”

  1. I think it is safe to say I will never be able to meditate!
    I have a clock wall, by the way. It is impossible to make them all say the same time! Once a year we reset them, change batteries if necessary. Then they are on their own for another year. When we want to tell the time, we check our computer…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really have considered pursuing the arts of meditation and yoga, but every time I get THISCLOSE I run into someone wearing yoga pants in a setting that they shouldn’t or someone using “Namaste” in the wrong way, and I lose the path… πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

    1. See, the problem is they make those yoga pants too damn comfortable, so I forgive the poor damsels who wear them 24/7. But anyone saying Namaste in a situation not involving incense and/or an uncomfortable yoga pose, when you’re not a member of an Eastern religion? That’s just wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I definitely get that! Trying to keep my mind from wandering while praying is an eternal struggle, though I suppose the effort to pull it back each time is a good exercise. And thankfully the One listening is very understanding. πŸ™‚


        1. Oh, that makes sense! It occurs to me I once saw a hypnotist in action, but it was meant to be entertainment. Only so much of what they did was just mean, i.e. making people do foolish things, I didn’t find it very entertaining.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Meditation. Yep, that’s pretty much the way it goes. (Or did, when I tried it). Even with a mantra to bulldoze those errant thoughts, they keep popping up, sneering at the bulldozer for thinking it belonged.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Story of my life, haha! For me it’s been getting a lot better the more I stick to it, though. I do my best to get rid of all potential distractions before I start, but it’s amazing how the tiniest, most insignificant things become way more interesting than trying to stay conscious of breathing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, it’s the insignificant things that always foul me up. Though I can definitely see the value in becoming aware of those silly thoughts, however frustrating they might be. Thanks for commenting!


  5. This is not only entertaining but what delight to see so many of us relate so well. Personally I stopped promising myself I’d go do what I couldn’t get past and come back to complete my mediation time for the day. Breathing in, fwoosh…


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