Note: Three years ago I had a fantastic idea for creating fun word games to entertain my readers on Thanksgiving. This was the first one I created. I did a logic puzzle the next year, and then… well, let’s just say my memory is not the best. Nothing ever happened again. But I really like this one so I thought it was time for a reboot. Some items were changed or added to make it more current, though I left one intact for reasons you shall soon hear.
And now… Let’s play the Thanksgiving Game!
Setting the scene:
Your family is gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. You haven’t seen these people for a whole year and you were perfectly fine with that. But now you’ll be with them and you have concerns. Deep concerns. Will you survive? This game can show you the way!
To survive Thanksgiving with a shred of dignity.
Choose your token: 🦃 🍗 🍁 🥧 ☮️
Your success or failure depends upon the following behaviors:
You arrive early and help Aunt Joan in the kitchen, even though she corrects everything you do: Advance 5 spaces
You spend the entire day in front of the TV eating Doritos: Go back 3 spaces
Your cousin Amelia says she’s leaving after dinner to catch early Black Friday deals; you refrain from judging her (out loud): Advance 2 spaces
Your Uncle Henry says something racist; you remain silent: Go back 5 spaces
Your brother-in-law Leroy makes a sexist joke. You say, “Whoa, man, not cool! Women are goddesses who deserve our respect!”: Advance 5 spaces
The turkey is dry and you mention it: Go back 6 spaces, jerk
Aunt Joan forgot the whipped cream; you offer to run to the store and literally run to the store, returning an hour later: Advance 1 space
Your cousin’s friend says they’re in AA and you say, “Wow, sucks to be you,” as you pour your third glass of wine: Go back 12 spaces, you monster
You find at least three instances to use “climate emergency” in conversation, as it is the word of the year: Advance 2 spaces
Whenever someone mentions the impeachment hearings, you burst out singing “To Dream the Impossible Dream” at the top of your lungs: Go back 1 space and look into voice lessons
Before you arrived, you carefully read this article, studied up on topics you’re passionate about, and wrote talking points on your left arm with a blue Sharpie: Advance 4 spaces
Your niece shows you her new tattoo of her favorite inspirational quote and you point out its grammatical errors: Go back 3 spaces because that’s just mean
Your rich cousin Renata, who lives in a gated community and sends her kids to an all white school, is wearing a safety pin*; you discretely slip a copy of this article into her purse: Advance 2 spaces
Before leaving, you use your Uncle Henry’s toothpaste to write “Love Trumps Hate! We Shall Overcome!” on his bathroom mirror, then leave enough money to buy a new tube of toothpaste because that used a ridiculous amount of toothpaste: Advance 3 spaces
Good luck everyone!
*: Does anyone remember that safety pin thing of a few years ago, when white people wore them to prove they weren’t racist? (Honestly, I’m not quite sure how that worked.) At the time I thought I was terribly clever writing that little paragraph above, but in hindsight I’m not sure it made me any better than the people wearing pins. In truth, all these words and symbols mean squat if they aren’t followed up with real action.
I’ve nothing more to add on that score; just something to think about.