Hey gang, it’s time for another edition of… wait for it…
As promised, we studied last week’s submissions offered by our illustrious readers and we must say, your overall sense of humor is highly questionable. Of course, that’s what we count on here at Feeding on Folly, so no worries on that score.
But just so we’re all aware: the bar has been set and right now it’s so low we have yet to unearth it.
In any case, we are pleased to report we have found a winner! And by winner, we mean a real stinker.
Our Bad Joke of the Week comes to us courtesy of WD Fyfe of Vancouver!
*WD enters to wild applause*
*He takes a bow*
*trips leaving stage*
You can find WD’s blog here: https://wdfyfe.net/, or just click on the graphic above. And yes, that’s him in the snazzy hat and suit. He’s one swell dancer. He also has a great tagline to his blog: “A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society.”
Seriously, go check out his blog. You’ll be glad you did.
And now for his joke:
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ain’t that a kick in the pants?
Well done, WD. That truly is a baddie. Thanks for playing.
You want to know what the best part of WD’s joke is? It’s the perfect setup for my absolute favorite bad joke of all time:
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag!
Oh gosh, that one just slays me…
*wipes away tears*
*checks mascara in mirror*
*forgets she hasn’t worn makeup since stay-at-home orders began*
*hasn’t worn a bra either*
Oh hey, I just checked my notes and according to our Bad Joke Monday rules, I’m supposed to give you two jokes of my own.
Well, beings how we seem to have a bit of a theme going on here:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You can call him whatever you want. He’s not coming.
I’m telling ya, you just can’t go wrong with a legless dog joke.
Okay, now it’s your turn. Put your best bad joke in the comments (with or without legs) and I’ll choose one to highlight and possibly illustrate (no guarantee) next Monday.
30 thoughts on “It’s a Bad Joke Monday once again”
How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows, no one ever looks at the director …
Ha! Speaking as an occasional singer, I can attest to that. 🙂
– What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy plane?
– A plane in the neck.
Christi, you asked for bad and that’s what you’re getting. Yikes. 😉
oh dear… yes, I see what you mean. I kind of set myself up for that! 😀
I am both humbled and honoured by winning the very first Bad Joke Award. I would like to thank all the little people but frankly they had nothing to do with it, so …. However, Christi deserves some of the credit for her immaculate taste in bad jokes. (cheque’s in the mail, buddy) And. as always, no animals were harmed in the telling of this joke. And to prove I’m not a one hit wonder — Why don’t you ever see pigs hiding in the trees? Because they’re very, very good at it. cheers.
Nice acceptance speech, WD. I can see you were prepared for it as you had your tux cleaned. (Next time you might want to remove the tags.)
What am I saying? I forgot to mention the rule that forbids consecutive wins, so I’m afraid your pig has been disqualified.
That is, if I could find him.
I loved the red velvet lining on the tux. Had to keep the tags to return it. Having won the first one I will continue to joke however after this I will pull a George C Scott and stand down. Just participating is honour enough. cheers (wash your hands)
That was my favourite last week. And there were some particularly awful jokes shared. That bar …. no limboing under that baby!
What did the buffalo say when his son left.
What does a cockney wash his face in
(For the second one you have to channel your inner Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins and understand that all A’s are I’s to a true Londoner)
Wow — a two parter! I’m impressed! Especially when you consider how it covers two continents as well.
Goodness, I can see you people are taking this seriously. Excuse me as I head to my study to contemplate the choices before me. 😉
How do you get two flutists to play in tune?
Haha — I greatly like this one. Though it may be because I’m not a flutist! 😉
Hey, what do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
Ah, now that’s what I like — a bit of history mixed with popular culture. That shows real class. Nicely played, Joe!
Here’s an oldie that I’ll shorten for you. A man is visiting a farm and sees a pig with three legs in the pasture. He stops to talk to the farmer and says, “I couldn’t help but notice your pig only has three legs. What happened?” “Welp,” the farmer says, “one evening the house caught on fire and that pig squealed and squalled till we woke up and got out. He saved me and my wife and my boy’s life. He’s a very special pig.” “Okay,” says the man, “but that still doesn’t explain why he only has three legs.” “Welp,” says the farmer, “a pig that good you take your time eating.” Ba bump bump!
Hoo-boy, just when I thought the competition was flagging, Diane scores with a story length joke complete with farmer diction and ending with a rimshot! Whoa!
It’s all in the telling, right? 😉
You betcha! And a missing leg!
If we can have legless animals, are legless, armless guys fair game?
What do you call a legless, armless guy in a pool? Bob
On your doorstep? Matt
On your wall? Art
You know, I’m pretty sure I saw Art at the last museum I visited. 😀
Is it already Monday again? Oops. I fully intended to do extensive research and scour the internet in search of viable content and collect a basket of funny deplorables but then… I sort of… well, I didn’t do anything because I completely forgot. And even as I sit here, nothing last-minute is coming to mind.
The shame is deep. And in such cases, I often resort to flattery: You look really pretty today. That blouse is rather fetching. Wait, are you not wearing a…
Oh, you like this? Well, I found it in a lovely little downtown boutique and you know, I simply HAD to try it on and… okay yeah, it’s from a second-hand store and no, as a matter of fact, I am NOT wearing a …
I’m glad you’re doing this! Humor is so darn important in these times. So here’s my joke for today: Knock Knock! Who’s there? Leon. Leon Who? Leon me when you’re not strong.
Thought it was a good one for this particular moment.
I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard that joke before, and yet while reading it I immediately started humming the tune. Amazing! 😀
Nice blog 💖
Some good ones! Reminds me of the lyrics to the song “Bad Jokes” from the Garrison Keillor movie… “Did you hear that Xerox and Wurlitzer are merging? They are going to manufacture a reproductive organ.” That’s one of the less ribald ones…
Thanks for this. I shared it on the FaceBook page for Horns of Tucson. It’s a quirky bunch of French Horn players that I’m really missing seeing. I can hear the rimshot after the punch line is delivered.
Good one, Margy! I haven’t seen Keillor’s movie or heard the song — maybe I should fix that!
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