Welcome to yet another rip-roaring episode of Feeding on Folly’s Bad Joke Monday!
Let’s jump right into the festivities, shall we?
If you remember last week’s show, our winner (Eilene) garnered praise not only for her buggy offering, but for her fabulous composting skills.
And then... in the comments, who do you think snuck in a thematic joke and landed himself in first place?
Why, it was none other than Joe from Month at a Time Travel!
Congratulations, Joe — you’re this week’s winner!
Joe and his wife, Esther, have a lovely blog and you should definitely pay them a visit and offer your congratulations. Especially if you enjoy travel blogs, because theirs is fun and full of great pictures.
Unfortunately their traveling has been curtailed a bit due to the virus, but you can still catch up on their adventure into Chile where Joe took some great pictures of penguins. (You can read that post here.)
As for Joe’s joke, here it is in his own words:
You know why I refuse to compost?
You know what I liked best about Joe’s joke? It reminds me of a college professor I had. Sometimes in the middle of a lecture he’d throw out a little witticism just like Joe’s comment, in a completely deadpan manner.
Also, he smoked a pipe. I don’t know if Joe smokes a pipe. Maybe he should.
(Give it some thought, Joe.)
Speaking of composting, I planted some seeds recently. And by planted, I mean I kind of just threw them around and called it good. When it comes down to it, I’m a lousy gardener.
Or at least I thought I was until I found this:
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
- There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
- You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
- You prefer gardening to watching television.
(Check – unless it’s a gardening program.)
- You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
(Did I tell you we visited the Desert Botanical Garden on our last trip to Phoenix?)
- Calloused palms and torn fingernails are a matter of pride.
So there you have it. Whatever you may have heard to the contrary — or what my plants may have told you — I’m a master gardener.
And here’s a garden related joke I’ll throw in for free:
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a peach by its diameter?
Now it’s your turn. Add your bad joke to the comments below and check in next Monday to see if yours wins!
(The only prize in this case is a bad illustration, but hey, at least it’s something.)
25 thoughts on “Bad Joke Monday goes to seed”
I got this email, “The National Procrastination Society” will be meeting tomorrow.
A meeting already? Dang, I’m not at all prepared.
Oh well. There’s always tomorrow. 😉
They’ll meet tomorrow so you have time to prepare …
Your bad jokes are a service to humanity.
Aw, thanks! Maybe I should apply for funding?
Good luck with that.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
Oh man, I forgot about that one and it’s very on key.
This keeps getting better and better (which is a great compliment from the First Winner.) Total Congrats, Joe. Que Pasa, buddy? Cool graphics! And now …
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Throw the ant in a bucket of water.
If the ant sinks — Girl Ant.
if the ant floats —
Loved this one – I actually had to say it out loud, then groaned. Well, I have been under stress lately and still have blonde hair under the grey.
Which reminds me of one of my favorite blonde jokes. 10 blondes and a brunette are hanging from a rope. However the rope cannot hold the weight of all 11 of them. So the brunette volunteers to sacrifice herself and makes a very touching speech. At the conclusion, all the blondes give her a round of applause.
I love it. I love blonde jokes.
Well, of course you do — you’re not blonde! 😉
(See my response to Mary)
Ah, that’s what told WD – a real groaner!
You know what gets me about blonde jokes (speaking as a blonde) — it’s true I’ve not completed my research (the funding got dropped) but it’s my hypothesis that the blondes giving us a bad name are actually brunettes who dyed their hair and moved to Southern California.
The REAL blondes are actually quite intelligent — think along the lines of Hitchcock movies where the leading ladies were calm, cool and calculating – and blonde.
Of course, this is only my initial research. I’ve applied for another grant, so we’ll see what comes of it. 😉
Very well done. The ones that make a person pause and sound it out, those are true groaners! 😀
These are fun. I told you “audience participation.”
Congratulations to Joe! From one winner to another.😊
Speaking of professors, I have another bad botany joke, which has the added beauty of being a true story.
Our botany class had a lab practical to identify various conifer species. Cones, foliage, etc. One dissecting scope had something in it that looked like a clump of hair. Each student looked at it and shook their head, stumped.
After all were done at each station, we reviewed. Prof asked if anyone got the one at the microscope. No one had. So he confessed he’d collected that sample from the back seat of his car. It was “Dog-less fur”!
I had a chemistry teacher who was known for his pranks, especially toward students who were cocky. Once we had an experiment where we had to melt some sugar over the flame on the first step. All of us were cruising right along and nearly done, but the class know-it-all couldn’t get his sugar melted. Finally something clicked and he tasted it. Salt! He was sure one of us made the switch, but the teacher confessed to the crime.
The rest of the class loved him for it. 🙂
Good one, Prof!
Speaking of recycling…
If you’re American when you enter the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you while you’re IN the bathroom?
(I know, it’s wretched. And I stole it from the Reader’s Digest site. Sigh.)
Oh, I wouldn’t say wretched Brian. More like borderline atrocious. But it still made me laugh, so…. 😀
Seriously, thank you for that!
I can’t believe I won! Of all the stinky jokes submitted last week, my composting joke was deemed the most rotten! I am also especially proud to be the model for this week’s caricature. How did you know that I look like George Clooney? I too harken back to my old college professors wearing tweed jackets with elbow patches and grading papers while smoking a pipe. Alas, I am not a pipe smoker myself, but have a smokin’ joke this week:
I saw two nuns at the bus stop. One was smoking a cigarette and one was wearing a sombrero.
You could say they had a couple of bad habits.
By the way, how are your SIsters doing?
Haha! Another good joke — too bad there’s a rule forbidding two consecutive wins. (I just made it up)
The Sisters are well, thanks for asking. No cases of Covid and they’re being extra careful it stays that way. The soonest everyone will be back to work is July! (Yeah, I’m trying to find projects to do. My house has never been so clean!)
If you want to sleep like a log, try the fireplace (this joke courtesy of a friend’s 10 yr old son). 🙂
Congratulations, Joe. 🙂
Haha — that’s not too bad!
Well, I mean, it’s bad, but it’s bad in a good way. 🙂