Hello all and welcome to another exciting episode of Bad Joke Monday, where this week we hit a major milestone!
Or at least we think we did. We might be wrong.
We don’t think we’re wrong… I mean, we researched it… pretty sure we’re right…
Only if we’re wrong it would be kind of embarrassing… but if we’re right, it’s big news… kind of like… um…
What are we talking about again?
Oh, right – the milestone! Okay, I think this is the first time a Non-Blogger has won the coveted Bad Joke-of-the-week prize. Which will thrill her terribly, I’m sure, as well as give hope to all the non-bloggers in our midst.
(At least I don’t think she has a blog? Her comment didn’t link to one and a search on WordPress Reader gave me squat. Though she does have an Etsy shop which I will link shortly.)
If you haven’t guessed by now, our winner this week is MoonstoneMary!
MoonstoneMary
If you click on Mary’s picture above (that’s her with the horn), it will lead you to her Etsy shop where she sells some lovely handmade jewelry. However you’ll note her business is on hiatus right now, so you’ll have to wait until June 1 to place an order.
Note to Mary: If I’m mistaken about your blog status, please correct me in the comments and leave a link if you have one. Otherwise, we shall assume you have broken the glass ceiling with your Bad Joke Monday win. (Trophy is in the mail.)
As for Mary’s joke, it struck a chord…
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
Quite the tuneful joke, don’t you think?
You know, not that long ago I complained about having to draw a set of drums. Compared to a falling piano, drums are child’s play.
Oh well. At least the miner was fun to draw, and he got me to thinking about other work-related humor. So I’m going to tell you two jokes related to work.
The first one I’m not going to draw because I’m kind of stealing it, though I don’t know who I’m stealing it from.
You see, it was a comic I read maybe 15 years ago and it was very edgy and dark and therefore I loved it very much. Sadly, I can’t remember the name of the comic, only that it was one of those single panel ones, which in my opinion are often better than your average comic strip.
Anyway, you’re gonna have to visualize it:
The scene is a post office and the customer at the counter is being extra nice to the postal worker and all the people standing in line look nervous.
At the front of the line is one of those signs like you see at a construction site “____ days without an injury” only this sign says, “3 days since employee opened fire with an Uzi”.
The caption: “Making your reputation work in your favor.”
Oh man, that made me laugh so hard! I had that comic on my fridge, that’s how much I loved it.
(By the way, I’ve been told my sense of humor can be a little twisted.)
Okay, here’s another work-related joke and in this one, no one dies:
A programmer is told by his wife to go to the store for some butter, and she says, “See if they have eggs. If they do, buy a dozen.”
So he goes to the store and buys 12 packs of butter.
Because they had eggs.
I found this funny but I honestly don’t know how well it relates to programmers. Maybe Andrew can let us know in the comments if it rings true. 😉
And now it’s your turn — add your bad joke below and remember to check next week to see if yours wins!
Feeding on Folly 
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Is that related to the ever popular, “If you don’t know what I’m mad about, I’m certainly not going to tell you!”
Kind of like that only different.
You are correct. I am not among the land of the bloggers. But thank you for the plug for my jewelry shop. I put it on vacation mode as I was dashing off to Sarasota FL to bid a bon voyage to my elderly uncle who went home to be with his Lord on April 26th (just days before his 89th birthday). He’s had dementia for quite a number of years so we did our mourning years ago when it was obvious that he was no longer the same Unca Dave I have loved all my life.
Anyway, I’ve been hanging out with my 87 year old aunt, helping pick up the mess a confused mind made and getting her life back in some semblance of order. We’re expecting her to move west close to us in Tucson so anticipate one more trip back here to pack and move her. Anyway, I’m hoping to be home by the end of next week. Right now I’m sitting outside a block from my aunt’s mobile so I can use the (closed) clubhouse wireless.
I’m missing my French Horn, as I left it behind so I wouldn’t disturb my aunt and her neighbors (yes it IS noisy). But thinking about my horn reminds me of a favorite way to repair a brass instrument — with a tuba glue.
Oh, so that’s where you went to! Sorry to hear about your uncle. You know, my dad was a Dave and some of my cousins called him Unca Dave, others Unca Bunca. I never understood the Bunca, but I loved that he had nicknames as it proved he was loved.
As for the French horn, have you looked into a practice mute? My husband uses one whenever we travel (trumpet) and it works like a charm.
Tuba glue… 😀
Yes love silent mutes, but it wouldn’t have made it any easier to haul my horn through four different airports to get here. I’ve now got a return flight a week from today where I’ll only have to contend with three airports – unless it’s canceled and changed like my flight here. I’m thinking of looking for a head to toe protective suit if American Airlines is no longer social distancing on their flights.
You’re a smart lady! Take care and good travels.
Just a note that I got through my flights just fine. But one should not fly if one does not have to. Two planes filled nearly to capacity – everyone wearing masks still did not give me the warm fuzzies about the trip. I think I’ll drink a gallon of apple cider vinegar tea with manuka honey today just in to be on the safe side.
My shop is back open, although many listings expired. Etsy continues to count the time against listing fees even when you’re on vacation. Oh well. Maybe sometime soon I can get back to my website building project – I own (what else) MoonstoneMary.com and have started the process. So I may yet end up with a blog to go along with my shop.
That sounds great! — You having a blog I mean, not the vinegar and honey or the Etsy woes. I know some other bloggers who coordinate with their Etsy shops. I’ve no idea how well it works for them, but it can’t hurt. 🙂
What a milestone. Bad Joke Monday is spreading throughout the land. As the FEW (First Ever Winner) I congratulate Moonstone Mary — minor/miner — ha-ha-ha, and love the graphic. But now to work — What has two bums and is dangerous? An assassin!
God, I’m so glad you were my first.
Ass-ass-in … oh man, I’m dying… 😀
Congratulations Mary! After I laughed at your geology joke, I knew I had hit rock bottom.
*snicker*
Oh Joe, you’ll never run out of puns, will you? 👍
You hear about the new restaurant named Karma? You get what you deserve. 😉
(Courtesy of a friend who has heard me talk about bad joke Monday.) 🙂
Congratulations, Moonstone Mary. 🙂
Now that’s golden!
Did I ever tell you about the student where I used to work whose name was Karma? No lie — her best friend’s name was Destiny.
Seriously! 😀
Wow! Now, that’s karma for you. 😉
I knew a lady named Carma – we bought a decent computer from us so it was good karma.
Congratulations to Moonstone Mary and her Milestone!
What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satis-factory.
And BTW, I’m allowed to tell such corny jokes because my dad’s a Colonel.
Wait, isn’t that two jokes? Are you looking for extra credit Eilene?! 😆
Well, I was going to share a joke, one that I heard a long time ago (from one of my first long-term boyfriends, if details are something you find worthy and intriguing), but I hesitate to type it out because, even in the most benevolent light, it’s still an excessively ribald and sexist (perhaps even misogynistic?) example of old-school humor that most likely will not play well on this page, even though I know that you would (secretly?) like it, but I don’t think I should do it, out of respect, so I decided to instead create this grammar-abusive run-on comment to let you know that I’m really enjoying this effort of yours yet I keep coming up short with with respectable submissions and, um, cheers!
Positive audience participation is ALWAYS appreciated, with or without a joke, which I hope is something you know given your many, many years of blogging, and I must add that in some some ways comments without jokes come as a relief as it frees me from having yet one more entry to decide upon which, as you can well imagine, causes me a wee amount of stress, albeit not an unmanageable stress; more the sort of stress one leans into, so to speak, as it aids creativity and growth – always a welcome state of being for we in Blogland, though as I said before, all of this you surely know, yet what you might not realize is my fondness for run-on sentences that lead a reader into God-knows-what sort of territory, for it forces them to let go of their need for silly rules and just hold on for dear life until, mercifully, it all comes to an end.
❤️