Hello, all you lovers of bad jokes and questionable taste. Another Bad Joke Monday has arrived!
We’ve not checked our captain’s log to be sure, but we’re fairly certain this is the longest we’ve ever stuck to a regular feature on this blog. Which just goes to show, lock us up in a house for eight weeks and there’s no telling what will come of it.
Side note: My God, how I miss eating out! I mean, sure, we can still do takeout and we have, but it’s just not the same.
Where’s my complimentary bread basket? Where’s my overpriced glass of wine?!
Moving on, this week’s winner is a real life-saver, reminding us that dining out isn’t always in your best interest.
Put your hands together now as she takes the stage, our winner this week is:
Lynette D’Arty-Cross from In the Net!
I haven’t been a follower of Lynette’s blog long, but it was a mistake I corrected quite happily a few months ago. Her site is multilayered, sometimes serious, sometimes humorous, always entertaining. Plus, her pictures are lovely.
Also, her joke telling is stellar. Case in point, her entry from last week:
You hear about the new restaurant named Karma?
You get what you deserve.
Lynette said she was told this joke by a friend who heard her talking about Bad Joke Monday.
Meaning… People are discussing Bad Joke Monday with their friends?!?
Before I get a big head over that, I better get on with presenting my joke for the week.
Did you hear they put a restaurant on the moon?
The food is great but there’s no atmosphere.
You know, I’m not quite sure what I’m most proud of with this illustration: the woman astronaut (You caught she was female, right?) or the burger. I mean, that’s one damn fine burger right there.
Okay, now it’s your turn: Leave your bad joke in the comments below and check back next week to see if yours is chosen to be illustrated.
And tell your friends! 🙂
26 thoughts on “Bad Joke Monday dines out”
Reminds me of a sidewalk sign I saw in front of a restaurant.
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
Who am I to dis a Brie?
Oh great… now I’m going to have that song in my head.
But seriously, that’s funny!
Yeah, me too – ear worm infestation.
But seriously, it beats Oklahoma. Oh sorry, did it again.
I did get the burger and astronaut … mostly … well, er … no comment.
The other day my wife told me that she was going to fix dinner. I replied, “Gee, I didn’t know it was broken.”
See, now this is why I feel sorry for people learning English. Fix can mean repair AND prepare. How weird is that? 🙂
To make it even MORE confusing (if that’s possible), when I moved from Texas up to the Northeast for a year about 20 years ago, I could completely stop down a meeting at work by saying, “I’m fixing to go do XYZ.” No one understood what I was going to be fixing. They were like, “Wait. What? What are you going to fix?”
I thought everyone had heard the term, “fixing to do something”, but I guess not.
That put me in mind of our trip to England. I notice how foreign I felt even though we “supposedly” spoke the same language. Someone walked up to me and asked if I was here on “halls.” I needed my local friend to interpret the question which the word turned out to be a shortened version of “holidays” as in vacation. That’s when I decided to start a travel diary with a section of new truly “English” terms, you know, things like white sauce is mayonnaise, a car trunk is a boot, and a public restroom is the loo. It is fascinating how our language in America is so driven by the variety of immigrants that wove the foundation of the US. And as you’ve pointed out, different cultures within our country have their own colloquialisms.
Biff: “fixing to” do something… yeah, I guess that’s pretty Southern. It was good of you to broaden their vocabulary!
Mary: “Halls”? I’d be confused too and here I watch a lot of BBC!
Hi Mary! Thanks for the great comment.
I think George Bernard Shaw (or possibly Oscar Wilde or Winston Churchill) said it best when he (they) said that America and England are “two countries divided by a common language.”
Even as a Northern boy, I reckon I know what that one means. (But then my Dad was from Texas…)
They were probably just messin’ with him. You know how Northerners are. 😉
There ya go! It’s in your genes.
Great post as always! And so desperately needed in this humorless patch we’re going through. And even more so on Mondays. If I had a sense of humor on Mondays, I’d gladly participate. Monday at work really takes it out of me. So, I guess, in a sense, that I gave at the office.
Anyway, very funny! Thanks for the laugh! And keep it up. Two or three more posts and you will hold the WordPress world record on longest regular feature that someone stuck with. 🙂
Well, if I can bring a little humor to your humorless Mondays, then I’m happy. But just so you know, entries are accepted up until Sunday afternoon! 😉
You do! I will try to remember the Sunday noon deadline, but I am notoriously bad with remembering things.
Thank you! Such a nice Monday surprise, and I have to tell my friend that her joke won! 😀
And, a terrific drawing of Restaurant Karma 🙂
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” (Courtesy of Your Cards)
Aw, I’m glad you liked the restaurant graphic! I had fun with it. I think I finally got the hang of the “click to enlarge” function, so you should be able to print and frame it. 😉
(Golly — maybe I need to start signing these babies!)
And great second entry, Lynette! 😀
Your drawings are terrific. 🙂
I hit send too soon. Anyway, to finish my response, thank you so much for the lovely comments about my blog. Much appreciated. 🙂
Oh, you’re very welcome — I meant every word!
I prefer the damn fine burger. I once dated a woman astronaut, she thought she was above me, and finally left because she needed more space.
Wow. Way to stay on target, Joe!
Congrats to Lynette — cool joke, great graphics (worthy of the New Yorker) and no I didn’t forget about Bad Joke Monday. I’m just disorganized and perfecting a joke so bad in the future it will be studied at Bad Joke University. cheers
Careful WD — not only are you building up my ego, you’ve got me expecting one humdinger of a bad joke! 😉
Bad joke or not, they made me chuckle this morning. Thanks for posting them.
You’re very welcome! Glad you enjoyed them and thanks for stopping by. 🙂