Hey gang, it’s another Monday and that means it’s time for…. wait for it….

But according to the calendar it’s also Memorial Day. A U.S. holiday for

“Honoring and mourning the military personnel who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.”

Oh dear.

I see now that placing this feature on a Monday was ill-conceived, as so many somber holidays are placed on this day.

Those in charge must have figured, “eh, people are already bummed out on Mondays; let’s add to it by giving them something depressing to think about.”

Of course, true to American nature, we typically commemorate this day by shopping for things we don’t need and then inviting friends over for burgers and beer.

Only because of COVID-19, most of us can’t do those things. Meaning we probably are depressed right now, though likely not for the right reasons.

Which is a long way of saying Bad Joke Monday is either poorly timed on account of everyone being depressed, or perfectly timed on account of everyone being depressed.

It’s so hard to tell!

Problem is, even if this is poorly timed, I can’t exactly call it off for today because (as I’m sure is the case) all of you are on pins and needles waiting to see whose joke gets illustrated by yours truly.

So let’s get on with it, shall we?

Today’s installment marks another first: We have a repeat winner!

Give it up (yet again) for Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week!

In case you’ve forgotten, Andrew’s first win took a musical turn. This time his joke was more situational.

Showing us all how he must have married a saint:

The other day my wife told me that she was going to fix dinner.
I replied, “Gee, I didn’t know it was broken.”

Funny guy, right? (I bet his wife gets eyestrain on account of all the rolling they do.)

To illustrate this baby, I opted to show Andrew fixing a salad. And this works because Andrew is both a gardener and a handyman:

(That’s supposed to be a tomato he’s about to hammer. For some reason my green didn’t scan very well.)

Truth be told, what really enamored me about Andrew’s joke was the conversation it started in the comments. First we began contemplating the peculiarities of the English language.

Leading Biff from Biff Sock Pow to remember a time he puzzled his Northern coworkers by saying he was “fixin’ to do” something…

(I’ve no idea if Biff has a beard; I just felt like drawing one.)

Biff’s comment led Dave from Plying Through Life to reflect on how he, a Northern boy raised by a Texan dad, knew full well what “fixin’ to do” meant. (And if you think I’m going to illustrate that, you’re nuts.)

Then Moonstone Mary (whose Etsy shop is now open) reflected on a time she visited England and was asked if she was there on “halls” (meaning “holiday”) …

Bringing us back to the subject of holidays and how today is Memorial Day and how I’m now hungry for burgers and beer.

In any case, I’m taking a holiday from providing a joke of my own for today, not because I’m depressed but because I’ve already done FOUR illustrations for this post! (Go ahead, count ’em.)

And that’s enough for anyone.

So if you have a joke to share, please add it to the comments below and check with us next week to see if yours gets illustrated.

And if you don’t have a joke to share, feel free to comment on the other jokes and/or lavish generous praise on my illustrations. 😉