Hi gang! According to our schedule it’s time for another,
If you remember last week’s episode, we asked your opinion on renaming this feature.
We had no idea how attached some of you are to our current moniker, nor how calendar-challenged a few of you are.
I mean, some of you claimed this was your main source for knowing it was a Monday?
I wasn’t sure if you were being honest or offering another bad joke. Even so, I worry about you people. I really do.
In any case, due to popular demand, for the time being this will remain Bad Joke Monday.
However in a few weeks I’m supposed to return to work. Should that be true, I’m not sure how well I’ll do keeping this feature running while working full-time again.
Besides which, I sense interest in Bad Jokes is waning. So what the future holds I cannot say, except to offer a warning that some of you might want to buy yourself a day planner.
With that out of the way, let’s get to this week’s illustrations, shall we?
First up, this one was my favorite because it was the easiest to draw. Therefore, Lynette D’Arty Cross from In the Net! is my current BFF.
Her joke:
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Its bark was very scary.
Note to self: need to figure out a better coloring system. The drawing looked great on paper. Scanned? Not so much.
Next, my second favorite because I’m proud of how the hands turned out. (Why are hands so hard to draw?!)
MoonstoneMary offered us another musical gem:
How can you tell if a singer is at your door?
They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
Aren’t those great hands?! Still need to work on coloring though. Dang, I really had that dress looking pretty, too.
Next, my third favorite. It was an action shot, therefore a bit more challenging.
This one came from Dave Ply from Plying Through Life:
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
You can see the coloring is better here. That’s because I used my watercolor markers. Problem is, I only have five of them.
Fourth favorite: Eilene Lyon from Myrocopedia opted to challenge the strength of our imagination.
Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who wins?
Sunday. Monday is a weekday.
Seriously, how do you draw a day of the week? I settled on this,
Not too bad, eh?
Coloring-wise, this used my other three watercolor markers, plus pencils which are scan-adverse. Also, I’ve been adding skin tone but this is the first time it actually shows up? (On Sunday). *sigh*
Last one…
My God, Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week, what have you got against me?
I mean, how did you expect me to illustrate this?!
If a tin whistle is made of tin, what exactly is a fog horn made out of?
Sheesh!
I think he deserved it. Don’t you?
That’s it for this week. If you want to play along, leave your joke in the comments and check back later to see if it gets illustrated.
And don’t worry. I won’t ditch you in the fog.
(Probably.)
Feeding on Folly 
Yeah, you getting back to work is a good news, bad news joke all rolled into one. Yes, I have become dependent on Bad Joke Monday to track time and found myself saying “Has it really been a week already?” see the notice this week — sigh. Such is the life of a musician with no rehearsal schedule.
But it reminds me of the time a friend decided their son should take tuba lessons.
“How did It go?” my friend asked his son after his first lesson.
“Great,” said his son. “I learned how to play a ‘C’.”
The next week my friend queried, “How did it go?” after the second lesson.
“Terrific,” said his son. “I learned how to play a ‘G’.”
The following week his son didn’t come home after lessons. In fact, he didn’t come home until 2:00 am.
My frantic friend shouted “Where in the heck have you been?”
“I had a gig!!” answered his son.
Insert RIMSHOT here.
Ha! This one is perfect!
What’s lovely is that you can almost sense the bitterness that went into it, as it was probably originally told by a trumpeter who couldn’t get a job. 😉
A highway patrol motorcycle officer sees a woman speed past while knitting in the driver’s seat.
He hits the red lights and sets off in pursuit. She doesn’t stop, just keeps speed along.
Finally he pulls along side and yells, “PULLOVER!!!”
She yelled back, “NO, CARDIGAN”
Nicely told, Andrew.
You’ve redeemed yourself with this one and I shall now lift the fog that’s hanging over you. 😉
🙂
You can’t tell but I’m hanging my head in shame. Yes, me, the FEW (First Ever Winner) missed Bad Joke Monday last week. I have no excuse but rather than wallow in my wretched state I offer two very, very bad jokes. 1) Why don’t cannibals like clowns? Because they taste funny. And (an all time favourite of mine) What’s yellow and dangerous? Shark-infested mustard. I promise to do better. Still loving the illustrations!
Your two jokes are a sufficient apology, WD. Your FEW status still holds!
Sorry I have been AWOL for last last couple weeks. I know that I have missed a lot of bad jokes.
What do you call a soldier that survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.
Oh wow, that joke is a little dark… and tasty!
Awww, thank you! I’m glad I could give you an easy draw. 🙂
Here’s an old one from when I lived in Europe. A friend reminded me of it today. Just a smidge of stereotyping going on. 😉 Enjoy.
Heaven
The police are British.
The cooks are French.
The engineers are German.
The lovers are Italian.
Hell
The cooks are British.
The engineers are French.
The police are Italian.
The lovers are German.
I remember hearing that one, it’s very clever! And I somehow think every nationality represented would agree? 😉
My first time participating in Bad Joke Monday. Here we go… Studies show that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Hi Cheryl!
Thank you for the great joke, made even better by being true!
You really went all out on drawings this week! Sunday does look like a knockout.😉
Thanks, Eilene.
Never underestimate a Sunday!
I was so saddened to hear about your situation. I’m not sure if I can find the right words, but know that I am always here for you if you just to talk. Anything that will help you lessen the pain…
I mean, only FIVE watercolor markers. It breaks my heart… 😉
You were the only one who sensed my pain, Brian. The crisis is real. But don’t worry, somehow I’ll see my way through and come out stronger in the end. 😔
Ok, so I’ve gotten a bit behind. Maybe I’m the one in the fog.
Nice job on the pics.
No worries. I’ve been in a fog myself many a time. There are worse ways to spend your life. 😉