Bad Joke Monday sets a new course

Another week has flown by, meaning it time again for…

I fear I may have scared a few of you last week, leading you to believe I was giving up on posting these. I even got a couple private messages encouraging me on.

My goodness, I had no idea how fond you people were of lousy jokes!

Listen, sorry to cause you concern. If it helps any, I’ve no plans to drop these any time soon. Especially as I’ve now decided to make you guys come up with all the jokes and all I’ll do is draw what I can.

Here’s the deal: You put your joke in the comments below and I’ll post them all next week with links to your blog if you have one (this is assuming your joke is within the bounds of good taste). And IF I feel I can draw the joke, I will.

That out of the way, let’s get started. First up, a little ditty from Moonstone Mary. (Link is to her Etsy shop.)

I love this one because Mary delivers it with a personal touch:

A friend decided their son should take tuba lessons.
“How did It go?” my friend asked his son after his first lesson.
“Great,” said his son. “I learned how to play a ‘C’.”
The next week my friend queried, “How did it go?” after the second lesson.
“Terrific,” said his son. “I learned how to play a ‘G’.”
The following week his son didn’t come home after lessons. In fact, he didn’t come home until 2:00 am.
My frantic friend shouted “Where in the heck have you been?”
“I had a gig!!” answered his son.

Tuba kid

As I told Mary, you can just feel the bitterness that went into this joke. I bet it was first told by a trumpeter.

Next, Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week put us in stitches:

A highway patrol motorcycle officer sees a woman speed past while knitting in the driver’s seat.
He hits the red lights and sets off in pursuit. She doesn’t stop, just keeps speeding along.
Finally he pulls along side and yells, “PULLOVER!!!”
She yelled back, “NO, CARDIGAN”

knitting while driving

Seems to me one could argue there’s no actual law saying you can’t knit while driving.

No texting, sure, but knitting?

Pushing on, we have a few I didn’t attempt to draw, despite them being perfectly fine jokes.

For instance, there’s this one from Joe of Month at a Time Travel:

What do you call a soldier that survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.

And then this one from Lynette of In the Net! – Stories of Life and Narcissistic Survival:

In Heaven…
The police are British.
The cooks are French.
The engineers are German.
The lovers are Italian.

In Hell…
The cooks are British.
The engineers are French.
The police are Italian.
The lovers are German.

Sure, the joke is based on stereotypes, but it’s dang funny. And beings how I have German relatives, it seems pretty spot-on.

Though I’m not sure where my Norwegian relatives would fit in. Any ideas? 😉

Next up, WD from WD Fyfe gave us TWO jokes. One I drew, the other I leave as is…

What’s yellow and dangerous?
Shark-infested mustard.


Why don’t cannibals like clowns?
Because they taste funny.

clown eating

As for our final joke, I saved the best for last.

This comes from a friend of mine in Arizona and I think her joke is absolutely brilliant.  So here’s a huge thanks to Cheryl from Mesa for delighting us with this gem:

Studies show that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

smart lady, stupid man

Yeah, I had fun drawing this. And doesn’t her cheesecake look great?!

Now it’s back to you. Add your joke to the comments below and check back next week. It might get illustrated! 👩‍🎨

13 thoughts on “Bad Joke Monday sets a new course

  1. I couldn’t resist this one in honor of one of the coolest instruments in the wind section.

    How is playing an English Horn solo like wetting your pants?

    Both give you a warm feeling but no one cares.

    BTW, no one is really sure what section the (French) horns belong in. We are brass but we are also winds (in an orchestra). And then our valves are held together with string so the argument could be made that we are stringed instruments. It’s a very odd instrument indeed.

    1. I didn’t know that about the French horn (string wise). I just thought it was odd how you touch the bell — who came up with that?
      Okay, so the English horn, that’s the oboe with the bulbous end, yeah? I found this video that includes an oboe & English Horn duet:

  2. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 🇨🇭

    A Norwegian one: Q – What’s a lutefisk? A – I don’t know, but I bet it’s not an instrument.

    And last but not least, one from Canada: Q – what do you call 10 Arctic hares hopping backward? A – a receding hare line.

  3. With all the sporting events cancelled they are going to broadcast the International Origami Championship. It will be on PaperView! (Once again, great graphics!)

  4. Yes, the cheesecake DOES look great, especially that dainty little missing bite.

    But where are the colors? Has there been an incident with the five markers? (You know I worry about them…)

    1. Your concern is greatly appreciated. You are an observant friend with a kind heart.
      In truth, shortly after the last post, I looked into buying more watercolor markers and right about the same time, found out that for at least the next two months (because payroll protection ran out) my hours will be cut in half. Working part-time doesn’t bother me in the least and I think I’ll prefer it, but it did make me think spending $80 on markers right now might not be the wisest decision. 😉

      1. I completely understand. When I was still working, especially toward the end when I was making startling amounts of money that astonished a little boy from Oklahoma, I didn’t think twice about running out and getting whatever I wanted. Now, in retirement, with that monthly limit on how much I can spend? Yeah, we carefully consider all purchases, down to whether or not I should get fries with that… 😉

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