Bad Jokes Monday turns educational

Gather round children and listen well, for it’s time for another…

And this one comes with a treat – a special learning opportunity! Because it appears as though every joke last week taught us something and as we’re feeling generous, we’re going to pass our learning on to you.

So let’s get started, shall we?

First up, Moonstone Mary delighted us again with another musical gem. Begging the question, will it hit a sour note?

We think not!

How is playing an English Horn solo like wetting your pants?

Both give you a warm feeling but no one cares.

English horn player

Interesting Fact: The English Horn is neither English nor a horn. Basically it’s an alto oboe and has a lovely sound. It only looks like it’s about to lay an egg. To hear it in action, click here.

Next up, Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week took to the skies:

Just remember that if at first you don’t succeed,
skydiving isn’t for you.

skydiver's fatal mistake

Interesting Fact: You’re more likely to die in a car accident than a skydiving accident. Whether this holds true even if you’re a skydiver, I don’t know, but the point is you should probably give up driving.

Next, Lynette D’Arty Cross from In the Net! treated us to THREE jokes, all with an international flavor…

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 🇨🇭

Interesting fact: Switzerland is the only sovereign state in the world with a square flag. (Vatican City also has a square flag, but technically they’re not sovereign.) However during the Olympics, the Swiss flag is a rectangle because the Olympics are anal about those kinds of things.

Lynette’s second joke:

What’s a lutefisk?

I don’t know, but I bet it’s not an instrument.

Before you ask, yes, I’ve eaten it. One does not grow up with a Norwegian father without eating a little lutefisk now and then.

Interesting fact: Lutefisk is basically peasant food. Only the poorest of Norwegians ate it and since they were the ones who left for a better life in America, they brought the tradition with them. I’m told the only restaurants in Norway that serve it are the ones who cater to American tourists.

And here’s Lynette’s final joke (It’s a hare-raiser):

What do you call 10 Arctic hares hopping backward?

A receding hare line!

Arctic hares

Interesting fact: Because of the placement of their eyes, an Arctic Hare is able to see 360° around them without moving their head. Seriously, how cool is that?! Also, no one knows how many Arctic Hares there are in the world because no one has bothered to count them. Presumably because they reproduce so fast and… oh my god! I had only drawn two rabbits!

And now for our final joke, we have this lovely contribution from WD Fyfe:

With all the sporting events cancelled they are going to
broadcast the International Origami Championship.

It will be on PaperView! 

intl origami

Interesting Fact: There actually IS an International Origami Competition! You can find out about it here. If you look through the previous winners, you’ll note they go way beyond a paper crane. Also, Russia has won nearly every year! (What’s up with that?!)

And that’s all we have for this week, but what a time we’ve had, hey? We learned about English Horns, Skydiving, Arctic Hares, Russian Origami spies… my gosh, the mind reels!

Remember, leave your joke in the comments and check back next week to see if it gets illustrated. Thanks everyone!

29 thoughts on “Bad Jokes Monday turns educational

  1. Every day at sunrise, rain, shine, fog, snow, Joe goes into his back yard, faces east and says this little prayer: “Dear God, please let me win the lottery today.”
    He does this for twenty years.
    Then one foggy morning the clouds part and a bright bean of light falls on Joe.
    From the sky a booming voices says, “Joe, meet me half way on this, buy a ticket.”

      1. My husband and I have a running dialogue on this. So I visit Publishers Clearing House and enter there where it costs nothing but time.

  2. Well I’ve poked enough fun at my fellow musicians. Now it’s time to confess.

    How do you know a French Hornist is at your door?

    The doorbell drags.

    And in the spirit of education, here’s a short explanation. Our bell is pointing to the back. So when the sound comes out, it bounces off a surface, then moves it’s way around the room. Therefore, when you play French Horn, you need to stay a bit ahead of the beat. Much of the concert band music consists of offbeats (thanks to JP Sousa) which means the horn section can make or break a band.

    I know several people who took up horn after playing another instrument. The above joke describes them perfectly. Urggg! But offbeats is why I prefer orchestral music where we actually get to play melodic parts.

    1. Ah, see, I learned something new again. It makes sense too, but such a shame that it gives you a bad rep.
      Just goes to show, the more you know, the more you grow. 🙂

  3. I’m still fixated on the Swiss square-flag angle. Why would you NOT want a rectangle flag? After all, if you want to hear that lovely “flapping in the breeze” sound, don’t you need an extension rather than a truncation? Wait, maybe this had something to do with their constant neutrality in word events? They don’t want to make noise by flapping in one direction or another?

    It’s very possible that I’m overthinking this. Which should surprise no one…

    1. Brian, dear man, are you saying what I think you’re saying? Must all flags conform to a rectangular standard? Do not square flags have their right to wave their colors proudly, albeit in a truncated manner? It’s time to let go of your antiquated views of proper flag dimensions. Let the square flag wave, Brian!

  4. Thank you for your terrific drawings!
    This week, a quote: Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour – we’re more like celery as a flavour.
    ― Mike Myers

    1. I put celery in many different things. Of course, as a vegetarian, I’m not to be trusted. But seriously, I think the flavor of celery, especially in sauces, is highly underated. I usually add it shortly before serving so it maintains that fun crunch.

      1. Lynette: I’ve only known a few Canadians in my life but I can attest to the fact they were quite proud of “not being” American! 😀

        Mary: I’m especially fond of the leaves in my salad. 🥗

    2. I was once told Canada was suppose to have English Government, American Know-how and French Culture but what we ended up getting was English Know-how, French Government and American Culture. And some say that was an improvement.

            1. Because of the bizarre comment layering, I shall comment here.
              WD: nice wordplay there.
              Lynette: we get to choose our next life?! Cause if so, where do I sign up for being a pampered house cat?!

  5. Mirepoix is at the heart of most of my cooking (I am French-Canadian and like to “not be” Canadian 😉 ) and, of course, celery is at the heart of mirepoix. And yes, the leaves are great in salads. 🙂

  6. I love Bad Joke Monday changing into a really cool wine and cheese party. CJ investigate Zoom. I’m definitely in. Oh yeah, Bad Joke time. If your nose runs and your feet smell … you’re built upside down. cheers

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