Hey gang! We may be a week late from our promised return, but we finally made it. After a full month of humorless Mondays, it’s well past time for:
If you’re new here, these are the rules: People leave jokes in the comments and I attempt to illustrate them in some fashion.
Or at least, I think that’s the gist of it. Frankly it’s been so long since I last did this, all I remember is that it happens on a Monday.
Another weird thing? One of the jokes left on the last BJM disappeared! Like, vanished!
I can find no record for it anywhere. Not in my comments, not in the spam folder, not even in my Admin page.
It’s almost like it’s been kidnapped. Or rather, jokenapped! (gasp!)
It was actually a pretty great joke so I wrote it down. That’s how I know it happened.
According to my notes, it came from someone called Rhedbuds:
A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if they carry Chapstick.
The pharmacist said, “of course!”
The duck said, “Great! I’ll take some. Could you put it on my bill?”
Pretty good, right? So good, I couldn’t resist illustrating it:
Get it? Duck face… selfies?
Listen, if any of you know a blogger by the name of Rhedbuds, could you please leave their link in the comments? I’d like to give them proper credit.
Also, while I have no proof, I blame the new WP block editor for the jokenapping. Block Editor is an evil abomination that deserves a slow, painful death.
Okay, enough of that. Back to the fun!
Lynette D’arty-Cross from In the Net told a joke about another feathered friend of ours:
How do you prepare your chicken?
Me, I just tell them straight out that they’re gonna die.
Such a noble sentiment for a chicken.
Next up, Moonstone Mary stayed with an animal theme by contemplating their musical taste:
As I was watching the rabbits outside our door the other day,
it occurred to me that perhaps their favorite music is hip hop.
By the way, we have a fox in the neighborhood! I first saw him (her?) about a week ago in our backyard, though he/she moved so fast, I wasn’t entirely sure what I saw. Only that it was too big for a cat, but much too swift for a dog.
Then a few days later, Husband and I got a real good look at it as we were driving by the golf course. My guess is he was hoping to score an eagle. (Ba-da-bing!)
Back to the real jokes: WD from WD Fyfe told an oldie but goodie,
A rabbi, a priest and a Presbyterian minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, “What is this some kind of a joke?
And thank you, WD, for including a Presbyterian. Nice touch.
Next up, Margy from Amusives combined the Animal theme with WD’s scene:
A bear walked into a bar and said, “Give me a whiskey and …………. cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asked the bartender.
The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
The best thing about this joke? I already drew the bar, all I needed was a bear!
Finally we come to our closing shot — Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week cleaned the table with this one:
What is covered in green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
Sometimes I get the feeling Andrew likes to challenge me, drawing-wise.
Here’s what I came up with:
And that’s all for this week, my friends. I hope this brought a smile to your face and maybe a few chuckles to share with others.
Speaking of sharing, remember to leave a joke in the comments for next week and then check back to see if it gets illustrated (or jokenapped)!
Until then, keep smiling!
15 thoughts on “Bad Joke Monday returns!”
BJM! Yay! Welcome back – you were very much missed. 🙂
These jokes and your superlative drawings certainly provided me with a lovely sense of lightheartedness. 🙂
And now, a joke with a Halloween motif:
– What do you call an annoying pumpkin that does stupid stuff?
– A jack-ass-o-lantern.
(I’m very tempted to bring a political angle into this, but I’ll be good and not go there. 😉 )
Aw, you know how to make a blogger blush! 😊 Thank you! And thank you for the timely joke with the possible political angle, too. 🎃
Your bar scene drawing was a two for oner! Maybe you can do one drawing for all the Halloween jokes you’ll probably get!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
How very thoughtful of you. I may wind up with one long joke motif. 👍
This might be a shock to all of you regulars but reading this reminded me of one of my favorite jokes that has nothing to do with music.
A baptist minister (Bob) and a presbyterian minister (Al) were having a heated theological argument. So the conversation went, “Bob, tell me, if someone only went into the baptismal only to the knees, would you say they were baptised?” Bob replies, “Of course not.” So Al queries, “Okay, say they went waist deep. Are they baptised yet?” Bob replies, “Don’t be ridiculous Al. You know they aren’t.” Bob goes on, “So how about if they walk in to the water chest deep – now are they baptised?” Al replied, “Absolutely not.”
Bob’s next question, “So it’s the top of the head that counts, right?”
(okay for those not familiar with denominations, Baptists are dunkers, Presbyterians are sprinklers when it comes to baptism)
I got confused following all the Bobs and Als, but I got the message and it made Husband laugh! 🙂
Did you hear that they opened a restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
Hmm…. I’m really in a quandary. Do I tell you this is a repeat, or do I let it stand and thereby get to reuse one of my old drawings?
Tell you what. I’ll let you decide for yourself: Do you want to submit another joke or go with a rerun? After all, it works for TV. 😉
I’m going to start a database of joke – when I used them, where I saw them …
How about this one:
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Ooooh….. nice save, Andrew. You’re really moving up. 😉
Since it is Columbus Day:
Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?
They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
Nearly impossible to illustrate, but clever! 😉
“Rhedbuds” left a few comments on some of my posts about a month ago. Here’s the link that goes with the screen name in those comments:
I also looked up the gravatar profile for “Rhedbuds”:
Based on the collaborative aspect of the “hideout” website and the fact that no website is associated to the Gravatar profile, it appears that he/she is a WordPress member but does not have a personal blog, perhaps functioning as a contributing editor to one or more sites. Pure speculation on my part…
WordPress banished you to the moderation queue — I can only assume it’s because of your helpful links. So sorry, good sir. I hope you didn’t find offense.
Based on the look of the site, your deductions seem correct. Thank you for relieving my worry regarding attribution. (At least I got a good duck selfie out of it!)
[…] Last week we had a frightfully good mix of jokes, covering holidays, phobias and religion. (Yikes!) […]