Hey ho, gang! Another week has passed and you know what that means?
That’s right! No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape:
Again, if you’re new here, these are deets: People leave jokes, I draw pictures, laughter and groaning (mostly groaning) ensues.
Last week we had a frightfully good mix of jokes, covering holidays, phobias and religion. (Yikes!)
First out of the gate, Lynette D’arty-Cross from In the Net! prepared us for Halloween by carving out this riddle:
What do you call an annoying pumpkin that does stupid stuff?
A jack-ass-o-lantern.
Sticking with this frightful use of Halloween punnery, Margy from Amusives followed Lynette’s lead by connecting the foot bone to the ankle bone:
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no-body to go with.
Hey, if you thought that was bad, we’re only getting started!
Taking fright to whole new level, Moonstone Mary dipped her toes in theology with this one:
A Baptist minister (Bob) and a Presbyterian minister (Al) were having a heated theological argument.
Presby Al: “Bob, tell me, if someone only went into the baptismal only to the knees, would you say they were baptized?”
Baptist Bob: “Of course not.”
Presby Al: “Okay, say they went waist deep. Are they baptized yet?”
Baptist Bob: “Don’t be ridiculous Al. You know they aren’t.”
Presby Al: “So how about if they walk in to the water chest deep – now are they baptized?”
Baptist Bob: “Absolutely not.”
Presby Al: “So it’s the top of the head that counts, right?”
Let me give you a tip — never do the Google thing on baptism. Lordy, the heated discussion you will find are enough to scare anyone… or make them weep in despair.
All I wanted was to see a baptismal font for my drawing. Sheesh! I didn’t need a exegesis on the biblical understanding of infant vs. adult, sprinkling vs. dunking, etc.
Anyhoo. Here’s what I managed to draw once my weeping was under control:
Next up, Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week approached fear from new heights:
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.
Finally, we have Eilene from Myricopia, who didn’t tell a terrifying joke, per se. The only thing scary about it was to me as I thought, “how in the hell do I illustrate that?”
Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?
They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
Now that’s what I call a smart joke! But seriously, would you want to draw it?
I mean, sure, I can scribble out cute bunnies and woeful skeletons on occasion. But depicting actual people? That is not my forte.
Then I remembered a previous joke regarding a historical figure and how I sneakily got around it by creating a graphic.
So that’s what I did.
With this:
In case you’re curious, de Gama is on the left, Pizarro’s on the right, Leif is the one in the Viking helmet (duh), and that’s Columbus standing. (I’m guessing they made him sit out the game because he kept getting lost.)
I must say I heartily enjoyed making this graphic. Moving forward, we might have to include more of them.
That said, we’ve now reached the end of this week’s frightful edition of Bad Joke Monday. Don’t forget to leave a joke in the comments and check in next week to see its illustration (or graphic!)
Hot tip: let’s make next week Halloween themed, shall we?
Featured image: Tandem X Visuals on Unsplash
Feeding on Folly 
I love what you did with my somewhat confusing theological joke. It really works better to tell than to write. It’s been a favorite of ours since we first joined a presbyterian church 45 years ago. BTW, I was raised Baptist so was pressured to be baptized as a young child (I think I was five). My father was the youth pastor so it was presumed that all his children would of course profess their faith. Then in my teens after having gotten in all sorts of trouble, I discovered a street preacher doing a home Bible study. This really cute guy invited me so I went along. And I heard the Bible explained in a way that made me understand why I could not do the “being good” bit on my own. So at the ripe old age of 17, I was converted and married the really cute guy. So when we joined the Presbyterian church in Wheaton IL, I asked to be baptized and gave my profession of faith. And of course, being a Presbyterian, I had both my children baptized (as part of the covenant of the Church). So I have been dunked and sprinkled.
Anyway, all that aside, per your request – –
What goes on when a ghostly church musician and a surgeon specter hang out in the great beyond?
They just chill and talk about organs.
Oh wow, that’s quite the baptismal story! I’m just a post-Lutheran Presbyterian, no rebaptism necessary. (Actually, I didn’t know they ever rebaptized, but what do I know!)
And thanks for the spooky joke, covering church, music AND medicine!
You know that ghosts say, “boo!” a lot. Did you also know that “boo” is Latin for “I’m screaming.”
Why do ghosts speak Latin? Well it’s a dead language …
Haha! That’s a winner, Andrew!
Your drawings are so good! 😀
A man parachuted out of an airplane but his chute didn’t open. As he sped toward the ground, he saw a man zooming toward him. As he passed, the unlucky parachute guy shouted, Do you know anything about parachutes?” The man replied, “No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?”
Oh dear, now that’s a truly scary joke! 🤭
My apologies! It’s pilot humour. Tends to be a little dark around the edges.
No worries. I like jokes like I like my chocolate. 88% dark with a glass of wine.
News flash from the Buford County Gazette: The town council was forced to shut down the Annual Wee Urchin Pumpkin Pickin festivities earlier this evening when one of said urchins encountered something she didn’t expect to find. Little Stormy Danielle told this reporter: “I turned the corner and there was Donald Trump. I didn’t notice him at first because he looked like all the other pumpkins, but then I realized he wasn’t wearing a mask…”
That is priceless, Brian. 😀
Whoa!
Is this? …. (checks notes) … one second, please … (cross references with database) …. Yes! Yes, it is! This marks Bonnywood’s first submitted joke into the BJM canon!!!
Oh, good sir, how long we’ve waited for this moment, we dare not express. I will only say this: it was well worth the wait. 🤗
I missed last week’s BJM (ashes and sackcloth) so by way of penance I offer two bad jokes. What do you call a witch who lives on the beach? A sand-witch! And, what do you call witches who live together? Broommates!
You’ve redeemed yourself admirably, sir. Well done!
Am I forgiven?
Absolutely. You may remove the sackcloth now.
Your witty drawings always get me laughing. I love the graphic you came up with, too.
The EPA is urging people to boycott plastic skeletons this year. Locally-sourced organic ones are much more environmentally friendly.
Talk about laughing, this joke is hysterical! 😀
I can already tell this is going to be a fun one to illustrate!
[…] Last week, per request, all the jokes left in the comments had a spooky aura about them. (Thanks, guys!) […]