Hi gang!
As noted in last week’s post, BJM was cancelled for the 2021 season. Will this stop us from producing subpar content and illustrations of dubious quality?
Of course not! It is subpar content and dubious quality that made us what we are today!
So it is on that note we bring to you yet another:
This is where you give us the subpar content (i.e. bad jokes) and we provide imperfect drawings to accompany them.
Or not! (Always best to keep some mystery alive.)
As it happens, last week we requested holiday inspired humor. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with other jokes too.
For instance, Margy over at Amusives gave us one that lacked a Christmas theme yet made me giggle:
I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Pretty good, eh?
Next up, Lynette d’Arty-Cross from In the Net! paid us a favor by not only giving us a joke, but the illustration too! (straight from https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/):
Back when we lived in Colorado, we had a little Westie who had trouble with the snow. That first time she went out in it and squatted?
Honestly didn’t know she could jump that high.
Husband, being the swell guy he is, shoveled a path just for her to do her job. Forever after that, she’d wait for him before heading out in the snow. (She was a smart dog.)
Staying on this winter theme, WD from WD Fyfe delighted us with another snowman joke:
Why was the Snowman opening the bags of carrots at the grocery store?
He was picking his nose.
Moving into Christmas now, Moonstone Mary gave us one that included her signature element: Music.
Have you heard what the duck’s favorite Christmas carol is?
In the Beak Midwinter.
For the observant among you, yes, that’s a recycled illustration. If you have a complaint, please take it up with management.
What are they gonna do? Cancel us?)
Since we’re in Christmas now, we must have a couple Santa jokes. Enter Eilene Lyon from Myricopia, who gifted us with this one:
Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.
My only explanation for this illustration is that I got stuck thinking about chimneys and smoke, which then led to smoking like a chimney, which then made me think about those cigarette ads they used to do with Santa. (Remember those?)
Yeah, I know. It needs work.
Moving on, Andrew from Andrew’s View of the Week gave us this one:
How many gifts can Santa fit in an empty bag?
Just one. After one, the bag isn’t empty anymore …
Man, my Santa jokes are kind of edgy!
Moving us ever so gently toward a sweeter path, we have a little rhyme from grAnnie Roo of Roo’s Ruse (her site is currently – sadly – on hiatus):
The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine
And forced him to land behind enemy lines
Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out, “Merry Christmas, mein friend!”
As much as I love Peanuts, I’m going to pass on illustrating this one because I couldn’t do it justice. But also, I’m not sure it’s legal?
So instead of risking a lawsuit, I found this video of my favorite song from Charlie Brown Christmas. Please enjoy:
Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown.
And with that, we bring another Bad Joke Monday to a close. As a reminder, our last episode airs on December 28th – just 14 days away! If you haven’t left a joke before, now’s the time to do it.
Leave it in the comments below and be sure to check back next week for your (possible) illustration!
Until then, keep smiling friends!
Featured Photo by Norman Tsui on Unsplash
Feeding on Folly 
Yes, I guess it’s time to give Santa some time – so who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley, of course.
Ouch!
Now that’s what we call a pun! 😀
What’s the problem with jogging on New Years Eve? The ice falls out of your drink …
Is this tip coming from personal experience? 😉
well … maybe … 🙂
What do the reindeer use to wipe down the sleigh? Santa-tizer.
Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeer? No, they already have names.
What is a reindeer’s go-to cleaning product? Comet.
Wow, you gave me a lot to choose from! And here I’ve yet to draw my first reindeer… oh my! 😀
BJM is the best. You will be missed!
Here’s another cartoon from Melanie at Sparks from a Combustible Mind:
I love the reindeer photo. 🙂
Aw, you’re sweet, you know that? Both for the compliment and the hysterical cartoon.
Did you notice the reindeer has blue eyes? Is that a thing?!
I know the answer to your question! Their eyes are blue in winter and a sort of light brown in summer. The blue allows them to see better in the poor light of the winter with the reverse in summer. I think they might be the only animals whose eyes change colour like that. 🙂
Whoa! That is soooo cool!
Thanks for enlightening me 🙂
A few to make up for being MIA:
Q. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?
A. He was Claus-trophobic.
Q. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do the younger elves like?
A: “Wrap” music
(And a drawable one…)
Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A. “Can you smell carrots?”
Thank you for the abundance of humor, Dave.
Guilt suits you, you know that? 😉
So, as I scrolled through this post, I was seriously doing my best to come up with something clever to contribute, since the days of doing so are waning, when I hit the “Christmas Time Is Here” video clip. Suddenly, I was a wee lad once again, when the magic of Christmas was still so bright and shiny and full of wonder. The last few weeks have been a very trying time for me and my family, for reasons that I haven’t shared on Bonnywood because, well, it’s just been too much. But the clip was perfect, and I thank you. Immensely.
I’m glad the video gave you good feels. It does that to me too.
I used to think there was something wrong with me that my favorite Christmas songs always seemed to be melancholy ones, but then there must be reason they exist, right? For those of us who have more reflective tendencies and are comfortable staying with them longer than the average person.
Sorry you’re going through difficult times — I hope the light shines through soon for you and your family.
With that thought — what do you think of Sufjan Stevens music? I’m a tad obsessed with him. He’s done a number of Christmas songs that are… well, they match the reflective aspect of Christmas that I prefer:
It’s a little known fact that Santa actually pays the elves. But, financial institutions are a little skimpy at the North Pole so the elves keep their money in … a snowbank. cheers
Ha! I like that one!
And heck, it might work just as well as a real bank. 😉
I keep mine in with the socks. cheers