Penultimate is a good word, don’t you think? It sounds so much brainier than “next to last.”
Anyway, here we are, closing in on our final,
But as long as our lights are still on, we’ve got some jokes to tell. Last week we had several to choose from in the comments, so we have quite the episode for you today.
Including a very special celebrity appearance! (*gasp*)
To start us off, Andrew Reynold’s from Andrew’s View of the Week was showing his anxiety for 2020 to be over, as he jumped right into New Year’s,
What’s the problem with jogging on New Years Eve?
The ice falls out of your drink.
Good advice, eh?
Though let’s not get too ahead of ourselves because we haven’t had Christmas yet!
Gifting us with another ready-made illustration, Lynette D’arty-Cross from In the Net! gave us this one:
Pretty funny, yeah? (Thanks, Lynette!)
Moving on, Margy from Amusives treated us to a rash of reindeer-related raillery:
What do the reindeer use to wipe down the sleigh? Santa-tizer.
Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeer? No, they already have names.
What is a reindeer’s go-to cleaning product? Comet.
I followed her lead and came up with this:
I don’t think he ever recovered from missing out on those reindeer games, poor guy.
Also feeling generous with the jests, Dave Ply from Plying Through Life gave us several:
Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?
He was Claus-trophobic.What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.What kind of Christmas music do the younger elves like?
“Wrap” musicWhat did one snowman say to the other snowman?
“Can you smell carrots?”
That last joke was illustrated a couple BJMs ago, so we opted to illustrate the snowman birthday party instead (on account of how I like drawing snowmen):
Our next two jokes bring in the elves, their first BJM appearance!
WD from WD Fyfe gave us this one:
It’s a little known fact that Santa actually pays the elves.
But, financial institutions are a little skimpy at the North Pole so the elves keep their money in … a snowbank.
Try as I might, I couldn’t come up with a caption for this one. Do you have an idea for it? (Leave it in the comments!)
Last joke, Moonstone Mary gave us a great one:
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley, of course.
Normally I don’t ever attempt drawing someone recognizable, but this time I gave it a shot…
(In case you missed it, this was our celebrity appearance.)
And with that, Bad Joke Monday’s Penultimate Episode comes to a close. Tune in next week for our grand finale!
But wait, it won’t be grand if you don’t leave a joke in the comments! Be sure to leave one below and check back next week to see if it gets illustrated.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Elfis has left the building…
Featured Photo by Call Me Fred on Unsplash
Feeding on Folly 
So in researching the best present for a musician, I came up with this.
A broken drum – you can’t beat it.
PS Love the drawing of Elfish Presley and of course when one reads “Thank you, thank you very much” it brings out the Elfish impersonator.
It took most of my Saturday morning to draw Elfis, so I’m awfully glad you like him!
By the way, I added a video you might enjoy (above). I’m now spending most of today watching Elvis videos (better this than working!).
Oh that was a great vid choice. BTW, love all the snow bank jokes. When I saw the challenge, my brain just froze.
Haha — yeah, my brain froze too! 😀
Really! I would pay my bill but you know, global warming! The bank melted! 😉
And, I’ll remember 2020 like it was last year. 😉
Oh my gosh, that’s a great caption! I should have you on speed dial! 😀
Love the joke, too. No idea how to draw it, but I love it!
Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable? He was a muscle sprout.
Good one! And it makes sense too, given how healthy sprouts are…
As to the snow bank – it gives new meaning to the term “frozen assets”!
Hey, that’s clever!
Geez, why didn’t I think of that? 🙂
The sweat drops on the jogger!
The pathos of Rudolph’s antlers and the sad bubbles in the glass!
The jaunty top hats on the snowmen!
The shoes on Elfis! The spangles!
You always get me with the details. Always.
See now, it’s people like you who make this all worthwhile. I wasn’t sure if anyone would even see the sad bubbles in the glass, much less appreciate them. And the spangles? I drew them for you, dear Brian. Every last one of them. 😉
The Catholic Church has said that priests and nuns can neck,
but they shouldn’t get into the habit. 😯
It may have taken the whole year, but we finally got a nun joke! Well done! 😀
I just left a comment on a site that was bewailing the rampant excess o Political Correctness. Most Christians, especially Catholics, don’t want to make fun of their own. Most un-Christians are learning not to poke the PC bear…. Then there’s me. I have lots of nun jokes. Many are puns, which suffer from print presentation. Here’s one that doesn’t. A carful of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?”
I have more if you’d like. 😳
This one will be remembered and repeated. Thanks for making me smile on a dreary holiday that is wrought with Covid concerns.
Great illustrations as usual (Elfish Elvis is my fave.) I tried to think of the ultimate bad joke for the Ultimate BJM but I fell woefully short so instead … What should we all shout at midnight December 31st? “JUMANJI!” and gets us the hell out of this game. Merry Christmas and happy New Year to all. cheers
Ah, now Jumanji would be an improvement, yeah? Good call. I’m in, as long as you’re the one creating our backstories. 😉
Merry Christmas, WD!
Merry Christmas CJ!
best yet…
Hey Christi! Since Monday is your last BJM, I had to come up with something for you 🙂
My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
Good one, right?! Found it on https://thinkkindness.org/kindness-ideas/best-jokes-of-2020/
Oh snap, I only just saw this! I’m sorry, it truly is a great joke.
Given how long it takes me to draw pictures/scan/format/write, I’m not sure if I could have done it justice. Even so, well done friend. You gave me a hearty chuckle and I appreciate it. 😀
I admit I shared this joke on my FB page – and on NextDoor. So far, it’s given almost 100 people a good belly laugh. We all need that right now.
Love it!
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