Cookin’ With Grandma

In which Grandma and I have a chat while making rhubarb dessert.

Grandma 1A few posts back, Brian of Bonnywood mentioned in a comment his Granny’s way of writing recipes, which led to a discussion of potatoes and the proper use of sarcasm.

Long story short, I wound up hunting for my grandma’s recipes, and you know what? I found the one my mom received after telling Grandma, “Write down everything!”

This is what Grandma gave her: Continue reading “Cookin’ With Grandma”

Welcome to My Existential Crisis – Episode 3

In which our alter egos discuss philosophy, psychology, and our need for chocolate cake.

thoughtfulReporter: Hello everyone! So glad you could join us today. After our last episode — well, let’s be honest. That didn’t turn out as well as I hoped. I really thought a bit of psychotherapy was all we needed, but then we wound up–

Editor: Hey! Would you stop jabbering over there for one freakin’ minute and get her off me?!

Reporter: Uh… excuse me, folks… Now, Writer-self, you have your own chair. You don’t need to sit in Editor’s lap. Continue reading “Welcome to My Existential Crisis – Episode 3”

Merry Almost Whatever You Happen to Celebrate

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably pretty busy right now. Maybe you still have baking you want to do, shopping you need to take care of, oh-dear-God-you-forgot-a-gift-for-Uncle-Henry, or maybe you have guests coming over for dinner.

(Did you clean your baseboards? They’ll look you know. Better get on that.)

christmas table

This time of year always makes me a little nostalgic, so I’ve been thinking about past Christmases — actually Christmas Eves, because that was always the bigger holiday for my family. That was when the entire family would gather together. There’d be a big meal, the gifts would be opened, then we’d go to the candlelight service at church.

But now that I’m an adult, things are quite different. Continue reading “Merry Almost Whatever You Happen to Celebrate”

Cleanliness is Next to Insanity. Also, a Review of Cat Litter.

This last week, I lost my sunglasses. To fully understand the tragedy of this event, you must know that this was my girlfavorite pair of sunglasses. They were stylish, lightweight, fit me perfectly, and were dark enough that if someone was talking to me, I could ignore them completely and they never knew. Oh, and they protected my eyes too.

Now they’re gone and I have to wear my back-up pair. Actually I have two back-up pairs. (I live in Phoenix, after all.) But neither pair is as nice as the pair I lost.

Well, maybe lost isn’t the correct word. I know exactly where they are.

They are wrapped in three plastic grocery bags, knotted twice, and sitting at the bottom of our garbage bin. Our outside garbage bin.

Here’s what happened …

Continue reading “Cleanliness is Next to Insanity. Also, a Review of Cat Litter.”

Lutherans Do It Right

Since we both had a long weekend coming up, Husband suggested we escape somewhere quiet, where we could both relax, recoup, and so I could write.

That’s actually what he said: “and you can write.”

What can I say? Some girls are just lucky.

The tricky part was finding a place that wasn’t too expensive, was far enough away that we felt like we were getting away, but not so far away that I’d get carsick. After much discussion back and forth and exploring all possible options, we finally decided on a retreat center located in Carefree, Arizona, about an hour and a half from our home. Yeah, yeah … big whoop. But there are retreat centers, and then there are retreat centers.

This one was run by Lutherans, which neither of us are but as I was raised Lutheran, we figured that gave us an in. Best part? They were running a special of $50 a night.

I know what you’re thinking. What kind of place can one get for $50 a night? It crossed my mindWP_20150907_09_31_56_Pro[1] too, but I survived Hotel Horror with relatively few scars and really all we were wanting was someplace quiet. We figured as long as the bed was one step above a cot and we had a private bathroom, we’d be doing pretty good.

The retreat center is called Spirit in the Desert. Let me show you around the place.

Continue reading “Lutherans Do It Right”

BuzzFeed is Trying to Blow My Cover!

I’m not going to worry about it though. Instead, I’m going to lull you all into a false sense of security by sharing my recipe for strawberry shortcake.

Because truly, no one can resist the power of a generous helping of strawberry shortcake.

But first, I have to stop taking those dang personality quizzes that keep popping up on my Facebook page. You know thefun quiz ones I’m talking about?

What is Your Spirit Animal?”

Which Classic Rock Band Are You?”

Which Character From Wizard of Oz Are You?”

Which Star Wars Character are you?”

You know, fun, harmless quizzes like that. Only I’m not so sure they’re harmless anymore.

I’m telling you, they’re on to me.

Continue reading “BuzzFeed is Trying to Blow My Cover!”

How to Be a Memorable Person — Part Two

history-e1436300304526In last week’s post, we covered what you should do to make yourself memorable on a day-to-day basis. But let’s say you want to be remembered on a more grand scale. You want your name in the history books; you want school-age children writing essays about you; you want an entry on Wikipedia.

My, but we do have an ego.

Well, never fear. As I said before, we run a full-service blog at Feeding on Folly. Here are some quick and easy tips for how you — ordinary you — can become unforgettable to the world at large. Continue reading “How to Be a Memorable Person — Part Two”

10 Things I Believed Were True as a Child

Last week’s post got me to thinking about some of the weird things we come up with as children and what we fervently believe to be true. I’m sure we drove adults crazy with all our questions, but somehow we still managed to think up some pretty wild stuff on our own. Of course, sometimes the reason we came up with the wild stuff is because we were trying to make sense of what adults told us in the first place.

Here are some of the things I remember believing with all my heart and soul.

Don’t judge me. Continue reading “10 Things I Believed Were True as a Child”

I Never Claimed to Be Erma Bombeck

My second year of college I took an evening class in writing. From what I remember there were only about a dozen of us in the class, including the teacher. It was called “Writing for Publication,” or something hopeful like that. We were young. We didn’t know any better.

The class was taught by a middle-aged woman who had some success in getting published. Her big claim to fame was getting an article published in one of the airline magazines. We were in awe.

Also, she wore the same green shoes to every class. I’m not sure why I bring that up. It’s just something I remember.WP_20150512_16_00_21_Pro[1]

Anyway, every week we had to present something we wrote, read it in front of the entire class, and then listen to everyone’s comments. Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds. Writers live by a code. If I say nice things about the crap you write, then you have to say nice things about the crap I write.

Continue reading “I Never Claimed to Be Erma Bombeck”