She’s Come Undone: Crisis Looms in Women’s Office Wear

I’ve been on a mission to clean out my closet and change up the old wardrobe. My goal is to eliminate morning angst.

I want to be able to pop into the closet, grab a shirt, pants & blazer — and by that I mean any shirt, pants & blazer – and boom, I’m out of there. Classy, chic, and completely office appropriate.

My mission is nearly complete.

But in pursuit of my dream, I have stumbled upon a most alarming situation. Something I believe will undermine women’s role in society if we don’t take action immediately.

What it is, you ask, that has me in such a dither?

It happened while I was doing the whole Google thing. My search terms being ‘classy’, ‘chic’, and ‘office appropriate’. I couldn’t help noticing that some women – and by some women, I mean nearly every woman wearing a button up shirt – seemed to have extraordinary difficulty buttoning up

These are just a few of the poor dears I came across:

 

What bothers me the most (and if you’re a woman, it should concern you as well), is that no one pointed it out to them!

I mean, come on! This woman missed TWO buttons!

Pink shirt

If a man has his fly undone, doesn’t someone take him aside? Whisper in his ear? Give him a quick heads up?

Of course they do!

But these poor women had no one. NO ONE!

White shirt
Alas, I fear this gal was unable to button up. She clearly needs the next size up.

 

And just look at this next woman! She missed a good three or four buttons, and even forgot a bra!

striped suit low cut

Aw hell, she’s even in her pajamas!

Couldn’t anyone tap her on the shoulder and whisper, “Uh, dear, you might want to freshen up a bit before you walk into that meeting.”

Really? ANYONE?!

And lest you think it stops here, oh no my friends. It gets worse. It gets much worse.

There are women who didn’t just forget buttons, they forgot to wear shirts!!!

 

 

I am deeply concerned, my friends. Deeply concerned!

Were a man to walk into a meeting dressed as thus, he would likely get laughed out of the boardroom. Or else have dollar bills stuffed in his pants.

Honestly, how can we hope to be taken seriously in the workplace if we can’t even manage a button or two? From whence shall our help come?

Therefore, I call upon my fellow sisters to make a pledge to one another: If we see each other unbuttoned, unzipped or unsnapped, where we definitely need to be buttoned, zipped, and/or snapped, we will discretely let each other know.

And please, oh please, I beg of you: should I ever forget to wear a shirt, please let me know!!!

What Sort of Old Lady Will I Be?

There are few guarantees in this world, but one thing we can be sure of: as long as we keep living, we’ll keep getting older. Which means one day I’ll be an old lady.

So I’ve been wondering. What sort of old lady will I be?

As it so happens, I’ve known several old ladies in my lifetime. And for the most part, I’ve had some great role models.

Oh sure, there are always a few cranks in the bunch. (My first blog post listed the worst traits of Old Ladyism.) But in general, and in all sincerity, I’d say the women I’ve met have been real gems.

There are three in particular I wish to emulate. Here, in brief, are their stories. Remember, these are real people. Only their names have been changed Continue reading “What Sort of Old Lady Will I Be?”

Gmail Spy Thwarted!

Breaking news y’all!

As an update to my previous post on Gmail’s Covert Spy, Google recently announced they will no longer be reading your emails in order to send you targeted ads. Read their blog post here.

An excerpt:

Consumer Gmail content will not be used or scanned for any ads personalization after this change. This decision brings Gmail ads in line with how we personalize ads for other Google products. Ads shown are based on users’ settings. Users can change those settings at any time, including disabling ads personalization. G Suite will continue to be ad free.

In other words, while they won’t be targeting their ads by your emails, they will still use your search history, YouTube browsing, basically any Chrome activity you do while signed into your account. You are able to change that if you so desire, though they don’t make it simple.

Fortunately, one of my favorite things to do at work is make how-to-guides no one wants. And since I’m on summer break, I’ll make one for you.

Here’s how to keep Google’s Spy from personalizing your ads:  Continue reading “Gmail Spy Thwarted!”

Gmail is Watching You

I’ve known for a long time they were monitoring my emails.

It started a few years back when my sister and I were exchanging updates on our ongoing projects. She sent me a picture of a blanket she knitted for her grandson.

Fingers typing on keyboardThere, on the side of the screen next to her note, was an ad for a yarn company.

I dismissed it, thinking it was coincidence. After all, when I signed up for Gmail, it’s possible I filled out an interest survey. I didn’t remember filling out a survey, but hey. It’s possible. No need to get paranoid over it.

Then my sister emailed with the idea of visiting a local winery together. Next to her note were two ads for wine. One of them was for the winery. Continue reading “Gmail is Watching You”

This is Taking Lawn Care Too Far

I checked the sources, there’s no photoshop at play here. This guy really did his mow his lawn with a funnel cloud behind him. What’s more, his wife came out to take a picture.

Screen Shot 2017-06-05 at 6.00.47 PM

In reference to the storm, the Alberta man said he was “keeping an eye on it.”

Good to know.

Read the full article here.

Announcing a New HGTV Series: This Tract Home

Hello and welcome to This Tract Home, the show where we help our clients come to terms with the fact their budget does not allow for a custom-built.

I’m your Host, Earl, and with me today is Snooty Homebuyer Elaine. Hello Elaine! Are you ready to find your dream tract home?

Snooty Homebuyer Elaine: I sure am, Earl! I’ve been wanting to be on HGTV ever since I transformed my apartment into a tropical hideaway by watching This Tiny Space with Tina. Still waiting to get my security deposit back on that.

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 1.37.25 PMHost Earl: Great! Well, this here is the first home we’ll be looking at today. It was part of a Phoenix development built in the 1980s for those of modest incomes.

SHE: Gosh, all these homes look alike.

HE: Yes. That’s the calling card of tract homes. Homogenous. Just like milk. How clever of you to pick that up. Continue reading “Announcing a New HGTV Series: This Tract Home”

Gotta Cure My Post-NYC Blues

Phoenix skylineWe took the light rail to downtown Phoenix last Saturday. No event to attend, nothing we needed to do, no particular sight we wanted to see. We were simply conducting an experiment.

If it took us between 50 to 60 minutes to travel from our Airbnb in Queens to Manhattan, and once there we never lacked for interesting things to do, and after doing said things, we never lacked for good things to eat, we intended to find:

  1. Is the Phoenix Light Rail an efficient and reliable form of transportation for reaching our downtown area?
  2. Is there an interesting assortment of things to do in downtown Phoenix, enough to settle my post-NYC trip blues?
  3. Can we find an eatery with not only good food, but in an interesting building with charming atmosphere like every, single, flippin’ place we ate at in Manhattan?

Here’s what we found:

Continue reading “Gotta Cure My Post-NYC Blues”

It’s Not My Home, But Dang I Love New York

One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.   —Tom Wolfe

Times Square

After six days in New York City, I’m back home. Or at least, my body is home. I fear my heart is somewhere on 5th Avenue, in the vicinity of Bryant Park.

If you’re in the area, could you keep a lookout for it? Oh and while you’re at it, could you stop at that one sandwich shop – you know the one I mean, right? – and get me a smoked salmon roll? I’ll pay you back.

Thanks.

These are a few general thoughts I had about our trip. Details will come later: Continue reading “It’s Not My Home, But Dang I Love New York”

New York State of Mind

Screen Shot 2017-04-18 at 9.24.21 AMThis coming Saturday, in the wee hours of morn, I’m boarding a plane for New York City.

The reason?

Hold onto your hats: Husband is singing at Carnegie Hall!

WHOA!!!

To answer the probing questions you haven’t asked yet, it all started about a year ago… Continue reading “New York State of Mind”