Meditation for the Easily Distracted

Welcome to Meditation for the Easily Distracted. Before we begin, let’s take a moment to… hold on a second, that’s my phone…

Sorry about that. Okay, let’s silent our electronic devices now and take a moment to situate ourselves in our chair or on the floor. Whatever is most comfortable for you.

Meditation 1 (2)

You can cross your legs if you want to, but considering your knees maybe not.

Getting old really bites, doesn’t it?

To begin, let’s take a deep breath… inhale… and let it out through the mouth – fwoosh… another breath in… and fwoosh

Try not to think about what you’ll have for dinner… or how you need to go to the grocery store… or about that weird spot on your arm… (should probably get that checked out)…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Or the sound your clock is making… ticking… ticking… ticking… okay, seriously? We can put a man on the moon but we can’t make a quiet clock?

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Let’s quiet our thoughts… unlike the damn clock… and let’s imagine our thoughts as little bubbles… don’t judge them, they’re just little bubbles…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Watch the bubbles as they float over your head… one by one floating up and down, and… oh, stop looking for the bubbles. There are no actual bubbles…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

I once knew a woman who collected clocks… bet she had over a hundred of them on her wall, ceiling to floor… ding-donging and cuckoo-ing every hour…

Another breath in… and fwoosh

Imagine your thought bubbles rising up and down, sometimes stopping — there’s the one about your dinner plans… really need to see someone about the spot on your arm…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

You know, that clock lady would make a great character for a story… hold on while I write it down… where’s my damned notebook?

Breathe in… and fwoosh

Pork chops would be nice for dinner… maybe pick up some crescent rolls… better get some milk while you’re at it…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

You know what amazed me about the clock lady? All her clocks chimed at the exact same time, down to the last second…

Breathe in… and fwoosh

How long do you suppose it took her to get them set like that?… Daylight savings must have been a bitch…

Breathe in… and fwoosh…

Aw, screw it. I need to go to the store. This has been Meditation for the Easily Distracted. Until next time– Namaste.

And please, get that spot checked out. I worry about you.

Bible Stories in Text: David & Bathsheba

You may not believe this, but I wrote this piece long before the news about a certain Hollywood producer hit the fan. But given the subject matter — a powerful man taking advantage of a powerless girl — it really shouldn’t surprise anyone.
Sigh.

For context, read II Samuel, chapter 11, verses 1-4 …

David and Bathsheba 1

David and Bathsheba 2David and Bathsheba 3David and Bathsheba 4David and Bathsheba 5

Four missed calls
Two voicemail

Would You Stay Here?

I’m sure this is a fine establishment. A lovely bed and breakfast in the historic downtown area of Glendale Arizona.

All the same, I rather not take a chance.

Gaslight Inn

Good morning, ma’am. How did you sleep? I hope the room was to your satisfaction?

Well, yes, only I kept hearing footsteps in the room above me.

That’s impossible ma’am. There is no room above you.

What are you talking about? Of course there’s a room above me. I saw a man walk up the stairs last night.

You must have imagined it.

You bear a striking resemblance to Charles Boyer. Has anyone ever told you that?

Never. Here’s the coffee you ordered.

I didn’t order coffee.

Yes you did.

No I didn’t. I don’t like coffee.

Of course you do. You love coffee.

I do?

Here’s your spinach omelet.

But I didn’t–

Yes you did.

Hey, did the lights just dim?

It’s your imagination. Drink the coffee ma’am. You’ll feel better.

Bible Stories in Text: Adam and Eve

A tale as old as time, told in a new way…

 

adam and eve 1

******

adam and eve 2

******

adam and eve 3

******

adam and eve 4adam and eve 5

******

adam and eve 6

adam and eve 7adam and eve 8

                                               Two missed calls
                                           One voicemail

Do French Women Catch Colds?

Seriously. I’d like to know. Because if they do, they must sneeze with great style and cough bad coldmost elegantly, and given the fact that I’ve been fighting a cold with varying degrees of success this past week, I’d really like to know how they handle such a blow to their otherwise beautiful manner of living.

But then again, they probably don’t catch colds. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Perhaps I should back up a little.

About a month ago, I began the task of trying to organize my closet yet again. My closet is not a big one, mind you, so how it keeps falling into an utter state of chaos is beyond me.

Anyway, while researching the topic (which is what I do when faced with any task, large or small), I2014_latest_design_european_style_wardrobe.jpg_220x220 discovered that while my closet is small by American standards, by European standards it is quite large. And since they have such small closets, Europeans, in particular the French, have very few clothes. They focus more on quality, rather than quantity.

My research led me to a few blogs, notably The Simply Luxurious Life and The Daily Connoisseur, where I read nearly all their posts. (Really great blogs, by the way. Check them out sometime.)

Then I explored a few books, listened to several podcasts, perused through several websites, and what I discovered is this: French women are from another planet.

Continue reading “Do French Women Catch Colds?”