A Little to the Left — A Tale of Political Leanings

Each day began with the same routine: upon rising from bed, he stretched, touched his toes five times, did a quick jog in place, and finished with a growled affirmation that this day, as were all days prior, would be his day.

Why it was his day, or what it was his day for, was never quite clear. Nor did his wife ask him. She decided early in their marriage that it might be best she not know. She also decided to wake up a full hour before he did, which on the whole was quite wise.

This particular morning, however, he did not stretch upon rising from bed, he touched his toes 10 times rather than five, and were his wife still in the room, she would have noted the lack of affirmation that the day was his.

For he did not feel the day was his. Nor did he feel it was not his. He merely felt that the day was.

This was the first sign something was amiss.

The second occurred when he walked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee and greeted his wife.

Continue reading “A Little to the Left — A Tale of Political Leanings”

Mockingbird Tales … With Pie!

Have you ever seen books or articles telling you how to turn your yard into a backyard habitat? I have. I followed their steps. My yard now meets all the requirements for being a backyard habitat. The only thing I didn’t do was pay for the certificate. I’m cheap.

Anyway, what I’m here to tell you is that I’ve uncovered a downside to attracting wildlife to your yard. Namely, you will be attracting wildlife to your yard.

At first I was charmed by the creatures choosing to visit my yard. The feisty hummingbirds, the delicate butterflies, the bad-tempered sparrows who I suspected were lobbing F-bombs at the feisty hummingbirds. All of it was quite interesting, in a Discovery channel, nature-programmy kind of way.

Then my yard turned into a Mockingbird prenatal ward and my life was turned upside down. Continue reading “Mockingbird Tales … With Pie!”

Give Us This Day Our Blessed Bread

The morning after Easter, I entered our kitchen and saw an unusually shaped loaf of bread on the counter. It was a cylinder, as many bread machine loaves are, but it clearly was not from a bread machine. This loaf was soft and delicate, and I’ve never met a bread machine that could accomplish that. Plus, it didn’t have the telltale hole in its bottom, where the dough hooks would have been.

WP_20150406_18_02_40_Pro[1]

Later in the day, I learned from Son that it was a gift from friends of ours. It was Blessed Bread. A priest had blessed it.

Son proceeded to tell me the guidelines, as they were told to him.

Basically, under no circumstance can we throw it out. We can give it away, offer it to a friend, a neighbor, a passerby on the street, but we cannot toss it. Not any portion of it. We can’t use half the loaf and toss the rest. In other words, under no circumstance should any portion of the bread be wasted.

My first reaction was deep, deep concern. Followed closely by panic. Continue reading “Give Us This Day Our Blessed Bread”

8 Steps to Becoming an Old Lady

You may be asking yourself why someone would want to be an Old Lady, but hear me out. There are some clear advantages in choosing this path. For one, you get to wear orthopedic shoes. For another, you will have a smug, disapproving look on your face at all times and scare small children with your scowl.

Contrary to popular opinion, you do not have to be a woman to be an Old Lady. Or old for that matter. I have met many a man, even young men, who were well on their way to achieving Old Lady status.

And just so we’re clear, not all old ladies are, in fact, Old Ladies. It is all in the attitude, my friends. That is what gives us a true Old Lady.

Here are the steps you must take to join their league: Continue reading “8 Steps to Becoming an Old Lady”

The World is Full of Fools

Embed from Getty Images You may have noticed that this post was first made on April Fool’s Day. You may have noticed that, but I didn’t. Not right away.

I’d been thinking for some time of starting a blog, but I was getting hung up on what to name it. Everything good that I could think of was already taken. And may I say right now, some of those people have not updated their blogs in a seriously long time. I checked. Perfectly good, even excellent blog titles are being wasted. This is highly unfair, in my opinion. But I digress.

My intention for a blog was to shed light on the ridiculous, humorous, and foolish things people say or do, myself included. However I also like to cook, and I hoped to include some of my favorite recipes. Finally it dawned on me that, goshdarnit, it’s my site, I can do whatever I darn well please. Which means you’ll get both. Every week you will get at least one recipe. Heck, it may even be a good recipe.

Once I hit upon the idea, the title Feeding on Folly presented itself. I tested it, and lo and behold, it was available.

Only after I posted my first column, “8 Steps to Becoming an Old Lady,” did I discover WordPress includes a default post titled “Hello, World! … This is your first post …” and the date of that post was April Fool’s Day.

What this means, of course, is that the universe has aligned to make Feeding on Folly a success.

Don’t laugh. Stranger things have happened.

Full disclosure: this post was actually written on April 5th, despite what WordPress has to say about it. If that blows you away, well… I have to say, you’re easily blown away.