Too Fearful for a Disney Cruise?

She was there to inventory our printers. Or as IT likes to call them, our “copy/print/scan devices.”

She wore a royal blue polo shirt and khaki pants, no doubt going for that classic geek look. But her red lipstick and fussy hairstyle betrayed her. And not that this is in any way related, but her hair was platinum blond.

One day, I shall have the nerve to dye my hair platinum blond.

slava-bowman-161206A coworker knew her and asked about her summer plans.

“Will you be traveling again?” she asked. “I saw your pictures on Facebook last year. You took a cruise, right?”

“Traveling is overrated,” Platinum Printer Gal said. “All that fuss and bother, it’s just not worth it. And with the news lately… you’d have to be out of your mind to travel out of the country. I mean, everyday it’s something, you know? Continue reading “Too Fearful for a Disney Cruise?”

Welcome to My Existential Crisis, Episode 5

In Which Our Alter Egos Discuss Life’s Purpose, Kierkekaard, and Peach Cobbler

If you missed our previous episode, click here.

Reporter: Hello everyone. Thank you for giving us another chance today. I know we thoughtfulhaven’t made the best impression the last few times.

Editor: Speak for yourself.

Reporter: What? You think you make a good impression? Don’t make me laugh.

Editor: I’m the only one who makes sense, so yes, I always make a good impression.

Reporter: (sighs) Maybe we should just start our discussion. And when we’re done, we can eat the Peach Cobbler I made. Is that all right with you?

Editor: Yes. I searched the room so I’m satisfied.

Reporter: What do you mean you ‘searched the room’?

Continue reading “Welcome to My Existential Crisis, Episode 5”

We Need to Talk. It’s About Your Popups.

I was at your site a few days ago. Not sure if you saw me? I waved.

White dog next to person with laptopSomeone left a link on Facebook saying they really like your writing, so I thought I’d check it out.

I started to read your post.

I think it was the one where you went to that place? And did that thing? And then something really funny happened?

Or maybe it wasn’t funny. Maybe it was profound and life-changing.

To be honest, I didn’t read the whole piece. It’s not that your writing was bad or anything. I mean, your first two sentences were killer good. Really.

It’s just that right after I read the second sentence, a popup box just, you know, popped up, asking me to subscribe to your site.

Here’s the thing: I’m only two flippin’ sentences in! How do I know if I want to subscribe to your site?! Continue reading “We Need to Talk. It’s About Your Popups.”