Our kids came for a visit this last weekend.
It’s their first visit since we moved here, the first they saw our new place, the first time they’ve been in Minnesota.
Before they arrived, I told Husband how strange it felt. It was like I wanted to show off the place, impress them a little. He agreed.
We wanted them to understand why we abandoned them in Arizona.
Now let’s be clear, we knew we didn’t really abandon them. They are in their early 20s, old enough to be on their own. They have jobs, they have an apartment, they have family and friends nearby.
Why do these images persist? My daughter is at an intersection with a cardboard sign: “Hungry, Motherless, Please Help”
Son is on a street downtown, playing his keyboard. He’s got a hat in front of him and he’s singing…
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when.
But we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.
We parents love riding that old guilt train, don’t we? If there isn’t enough to feel guilty about, we’ll make something up to fill the void. (One mother told me she felt guilty her daughter had to wear glasses. If she had eaten better when she was pregnant, maybe her daughter’s vision would be better.)
So it was good for us to see they were doing fine. Somehow for these last six weeks, they managed to keep themselves fed, clothed and sheltered.
They liked our new house, agreed the area was pretty. They seemed to enjoy Minnesota but thought our evenings were a little cold (HA HA, wimpy Arizonans!).
Still, I wondered what they thought of our moving. Did they understand? Did they think we were nuts?
It was a short trip as they had to get back for work, but before we dropped them off at the airport, we walked around Mall of America. We discovered it is one FREAKIN’ big mall. It has its own amusement park, for cryin’ out loud.
Husband and Son went on Ghost Blasters, Daughter and I did our roller coaster thing.
At some point (it may have been on the plunge down), a thought occurred to me: Our kids aren’t thinking about us.
Do you remember back when you were young and out on your own? When we’re trying to figure out the whole adult thing and find our way in the cold, cruel world? The one thing we weren’t doing at the time was sitting around wondering what our parents were up to. We had our own concerns and our parents didn’t enter into it.
Which is how it should be. Right?
They left the nest and are doing their thing, and now mama and papa bird have to figure out their thing.
So yeah. The kids are all right.
Jury’s still out on the parents, though. 😉