Words from a Noble Woman – Thoughts on Home and Hearth

As I present these meditations from our mysterious M.A., first talked about here, I find myself in a bit of a quandary. There are times she seems to contradict herself.

For instance, in the passages below, you’ll see how she first tells herself to not take her home too seriously, then in the second she says never neglect it. How do we reconcile these thoughts?

I think it’s important we realize that by all appearances, they are her private reflections. It’s natural that her thoughts drift from one idea to the next, first believing one thing, then another. It is, after all, how we grow as thinking individuals. Always open to new ideas. (Would that all people were this flexible, eh?)

Also, I can’t help but notice M.A.’s fondness for the semicolon. I counted up to four uses in one page alone! To own the truth, I grew faint. Did she use them correctly? Hell if I know, and I’ve been to college. (Perhaps, at least in this, Kurt Vonnegut was mistaken.)

But enough with our rambling preamble. Let us begin. Here are two more of M.A.’s entries (plus a recipe!) that I managed to decipher from her atrocious handwriting:

Continue reading “Words from a Noble Woman – Thoughts on Home and Hearth”

This is Taking Lawn Care Too Far

I checked the sources, there’s no photoshop at play here. This guy really did his mow his lawn with a funnel cloud behind him. What’s more, his wife came out to take a picture.

Screen Shot 2017-06-05 at 6.00.47 PM

In reference to the storm, the Alberta man said he was “keeping an eye on it.”

Good to know.

Read the full article here.

Announcing a New HGTV Series: This Tract Home

Hello and welcome to This Tract Home, the show where we help our clients come to terms with the fact their budget does not allow for a custom-built.

I’m your Host, Earl, and with me today is Snooty Homebuyer Elaine. Hello Elaine! Are you ready to find your dream tract home?

Snooty Homebuyer Elaine: I sure am, Earl! I’ve been wanting to be on HGTV ever since I transformed my apartment into a tropical hideaway by watching This Tiny Space with Tina. Still waiting to get my security deposit back on that.

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 1.37.25 PMHost Earl: Great! Well, this here is the first home we’ll be looking at today. It was part of a Phoenix development built in the 1980s for those of modest incomes.

SHE: Gosh, all these homes look alike.

HE: Yes. That’s the calling card of tract homes. Homogenous. Just like milk. How clever of you to pick that up. Continue reading “Announcing a New HGTV Series: This Tract Home”

In Defense of Lazy Gardening

This morning as I was walking Dog, I passed by that house.

You know which one I mean, right? There’s one in your neighborhood too. It’s the one with the perfect yard.

Perfect yard

The grass is perfectly green, the bushes are perfectly shaped, the flowers look like they were planted with a ruler and level.

Walking by such a yard used to fill me with envy and shame, for I knew I had no chance of joining their anal-retentive ranks. Frankly, I was too dang lazy.

Since then, I’ve come to realize there are lessons to be learned by lazy gardeners. Highly important lessons. Lessons that can change lives!

Okay, I can tell you’re skeptical, so here are three such lessons from my own yard.

Continue reading “In Defense of Lazy Gardening”

Magnify the Past to Find Your Story

Recently I started a writing course with WordPress, titled Shaping Your Story. Week one was finding your angle. It’s one thing to have a subject for your story, you also need an angle for telling it.

The first workshop included this tip from Amy Tan:

I try to see as much as possible — in microscopic detail. I have an exercise that helps me with this, using old family photographs. I’ll blow an image up as much as I can, and work through it pixel by pixel.
–Amy Tan, from an article in the Atlantic

old photos and magnifying lensInspired, I dug out my box of old photographs and a magnifying lens. Continue reading “Magnify the Past to Find Your Story”

Color My World With Pseudo Science

paintbrushWe’re nearing the end of January — how are those resolutions holding up for ya? Not so good?

Never fear! We at Feeding on Folly have found the answer to make all your goals come true, and all you need do is grab a paintbrush!

For instance, are you having trouble losing weight? Continue reading “Color My World With Pseudo Science”

A Mountain View

Last weekend, Husband and I spent some time at what only can be described as a luxurious religious resort in Carefree, Arizona.

I know, I know, sounds weird. But honestly, if you’re going to be religious, you might as well enjoy yourself.

It’s much too much to tell you about in this small post — you’ll get the full run-down on Wednesday. For today, I’m going to show you the view from our little private balcony where we ate our breakfast each morning (yeah, admit it — you’re just dying with envy right now).

It was a lovely desert mountain, dotted with expensive, luxury homes at the base, as well as on the top half of the mount.

Continue reading “A Mountain View”

How to Survive a Home Invasion — According to a Nine-Year-Old

Back when I was 9 years old, I devised a foolproof survival plan in the event of a home invasion. It was a masterpiece. It took into account every eventuality.

No kidding.

robberMind you, my neighborhood was not an especially dangerous one. It’s not like there were reports of these things happening to our friends or relatives. To my knowledge there hadn’t been so much as a bike stolen off a porch, so I’m not sure why I thought there was a need for a plan. Maybe I saw something in a movie or TV show? In any case, if it ever did happen to us, I was prepared.

Continue reading “How to Survive a Home Invasion — According to a Nine-Year-Old”