The Blogger’s Annual Performance Review

Blog Title: Feeding on Folly
Blogger: CJ Hartwell
Review Period: January to December, 2017
Reviewer: CJ’s Internal Critic
Note: Beings how this CJ person is currently enjoying some time off work — and sleeping in EVERY morning like the lazy bum she is — I, her Internal Critic, am conducting her Annual Review in her place. (She can thank me later.) 

Blog Description

Hard to say. Is this a humor blog? Food blog? Self-help blog? (Lord knows Self could use some help.)
Describing this blog is like describing the smelly thing you stepped in while walking the dog: Possible, but why go there?

Posts of Note

Your top three posts this past year, both in terms of “clicks” and “likes”, were:

In close running were two other posts: one on Broadway Musicals and one on your Post-NYC Blues. The one unifying thread among all five posts: New York. As in all five mention New York in some fashion. If you had a brain, you’d write about New York more. Or just tag every post New York whether they were about it or not. Or maybe just write it: New York. Give it some thought.

As for my personal favorite, I’d have to say it was the week you missed. Remember that one? You totally forgot what day it was and didn’t publish anything. That was great. You should do that more often.

New York.

Accomplishments

Back in March you created a Facebook page for your blog. Then in late April you went on vacation (New York) and promptly forgot about it. Sometime in September you tried to resuscitate it with about as much enthusiasm as giving mouth-to-mouth to a blowfish. Blowfish

You stretched a bit with your writing with your rambling thoughts on Beauty and a feeble attempt at poetry. Normally stretching is good, but in some cases, e.g., yours, it’s less so.

You added some illustrations to your posts to give them a (*cough*) New Yorker flair. It is painfully obvious, however, that the ones where you bribed Daughter for help (Suicidal Mice) compared to the ones you did yourself (Cursive Schmursive) are vastly different in quality:

The answer? Less drawing, more bribery.

Additional Comments

You are nearing your third full year of blogging when many (okay, it was just me) said you’d never make it three days.

You managed to hoodwink a sizable number of people into following this blog, when everyone (fine, just me again) said you’d be lucky if you got your family to read it.

Maybe I was wrong before, but this time I’m right: give this foolish thing up NOW!  If you continue stretching yourself as a writer and trying new things, you might fail! And you know what’ll happen if you fail? You’ll DIE!

Okay, maybe not actually die, but you know what I mean…

Oh shoot, she’s waking up! I better finish this thing fast. Dang it, now she’s reading something affirming! I hate it when she does that! It only encourages her.

I better hit this publish button fast before she tells me to shut—

Four Broadway Musicals and the People We Saw There

Screen Shot 2017-06-01 at 9.38.00 AMThis coming Sunday is the Tony Awards. Also known as: The Award Program You Never Watch.

This year my family will be watching, because two of the shows we saw in New York are nominated for best musical.

Oh my gosh! I haven’t told you about the shows we saw! Do you have a moment?

I promise I won’t go on for three hours, speeches will be kept to a 45-second time limit, and there won’t be any ‘who-died-last-year’ montages. But I promise you’ll meet some interesting people along the way, and we’ll have a swell song-and-dance number at the end.

Continue reading “Four Broadway Musicals and the People We Saw There”

Gotta Cure My Post-NYC Blues

Phoenix skylineWe took the light rail to downtown Phoenix last Saturday. No event to attend, nothing we needed to do, no particular sight we wanted to see. We were simply conducting an experiment.

If it took us between 50 to 60 minutes to travel from our Airbnb in Queens to Manhattan, and once there we never lacked for interesting things to do, and after doing said things, we never lacked for good things to eat, we intended to find:

  1. Is the Phoenix Light Rail an efficient and reliable form of transportation for reaching our downtown area?
  2. Is there an interesting assortment of things to do in downtown Phoenix, enough to settle my post-NYC trip blues?
  3. Can we find an eatery with not only good food, but in an interesting building with charming atmosphere like every, single, flippin’ place we ate at in Manhattan?

Here’s what we found:

Continue reading “Gotta Cure My Post-NYC Blues”

How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?

Carnegie PlaybillPractice helps. But there’s a much easier way, and I imagine a much more common way: You pay for it.

From its beginning, Carnegie was a rental hall.  I looked up the price for renting it, should you feel so inclined. Without putting in a lot of effort, I found the going price in 2014 for the Stern auditorium (the main stage) for a Friday or Saturday evening was $16,000.

Not sure how many hours that covers, but remember you can do anything you want and no auditions required. You could even play your kazoo, if you wanted.

Another option – and this is the one Husband chose – is to join a choir that’s been invited for a special event. Continue reading “How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?”

That’s Art?! And Why That’s a Stupid Thing to Say

I planned on giving you a tour of the museums we visited while in New York, but then I got distracted by this news story in the Daily Mail:

“A student who left a pineapple in the middle of an art exhibition as a prank was left shocked after curators put the fruit inside a glass case.”

Screen Shot 2017-05-09 at 8.18.13 PM

Funny, right?

About a year ago, Twitter lit up with an account of a teenage boy who left his dirty sneakers in an art museum and watched as patrons took pictures of them.

That was funny too.

But there are a few things I want to point out:

Continue reading “That’s Art?! And Why That’s a Stupid Thing to Say”

It’s Not My Home, But Dang I Love New York

One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.   —Tom Wolfe

Times Square

After six days in New York City, I’m back home. Or at least, my body is home. I fear my heart is somewhere on 5th Avenue, in the vicinity of Bryant Park.

If you’re in the area, could you keep a lookout for it? Oh and while you’re at it, could you stop at that one sandwich shop – you know the one I mean, right? – and get me a smoked salmon roll? I’ll pay you back.

Thanks.

These are a few general thoughts I had about our trip. Details will come later: Continue reading “It’s Not My Home, But Dang I Love New York”

New York State of Mind

Screen Shot 2017-04-18 at 9.24.21 AMThis coming Saturday, in the wee hours of morn, I’m boarding a plane for New York City.

The reason?

Hold onto your hats: Husband is singing at Carnegie Hall!

WHOA!!!

To answer the probing questions you haven’t asked yet, it all started about a year ago… Continue reading “New York State of Mind”