The Blogger’s Annual Performance Review

Blog Title: Feeding on Folly
Blogger: CJ Hartwell
Review Period: January to December, 2017
Reviewer: CJ’s Internal Critic
Note: Beings how this CJ person is currently enjoying some time off work — and sleeping in EVERY morning like the lazy bum she is — I, her Internal Critic, am conducting her Annual Review in her place. (She can thank me later.) 

Blog Description

Hard to say. Is this a humor blog? Food blog? Self-help blog? (Lord knows Self could use some help.)
Describing this blog is like describing the smelly thing you stepped in while walking the dog: Possible, but why go there?

Posts of Note

Your top three posts this past year, both in terms of “clicks” and “likes”, were:

In close running were two other posts: one on Broadway Musicals and one on your Post-NYC Blues. The one unifying thread among all five posts: New York. As in all five mention New York in some fashion. If you had a brain, you’d write about New York more. Or just tag every post New York whether they were about it or not. Or maybe just write it: New York. Give it some thought.

As for my personal favorite, I’d have to say it was the week you missed. Remember that one? You totally forgot what day it was and didn’t publish anything. That was great. You should do that more often.

New York.

Accomplishments

Back in March you created a Facebook page for your blog. Then in late April you went on vacation (New York) and promptly forgot about it. Sometime in September you tried to resuscitate it with about as much enthusiasm as giving mouth-to-mouth to a blowfish. Blowfish

You stretched a bit with your writing with your rambling thoughts on Beauty and a feeble attempt at poetry. Normally stretching is good, but in some cases, e.g., yours, it’s less so.

You added some illustrations to your posts to give them a (*cough*) New Yorker flair. It is painfully obvious, however, that the ones where you bribed Daughter for help (Suicidal Mice) compared to the ones you did yourself (Cursive Schmursive) are vastly different in quality:

The answer? Less drawing, more bribery.

Additional Comments

You are nearing your third full year of blogging when many (okay, it was just me) said you’d never make it three days.

You managed to hoodwink a sizable number of people into following this blog, when everyone (fine, just me again) said you’d be lucky if you got your family to read it.

Maybe I was wrong before, but this time I’m right: give this foolish thing up NOW!  If you continue stretching yourself as a writer and trying new things, you might fail! And you know what’ll happen if you fail? You’ll DIE!

Okay, maybe not actually die, but you know what I mean…

Oh shoot, she’s waking up! I better finish this thing fast. Dang it, now she’s reading something affirming! I hate it when she does that! It only encourages her.

I better hit this publish button fast before she tells me to shut—

In Which I Question the Motives of a Blogger Who Recently Followed Me and Politely Suggest He Stop Using Super Long Blog Post Titles

writingDear Blogger Who Recently Followed Me,

Please accept my heartiest welcome to our Feeding on Folly neighborhood!

Take a seat anywhere you like… well, not there… that’s where Brian of Bonnywood always sits… no, not that one either, that’s Patricia’s spot. She needs the side table for her tea…

Oh, geez, just take the one next to the sofa, will ya?

Okay, feeling settled in now? Good.

You can’t imagine my surprise last Saturday morning when I learned you were following FoF. Not that it’s unusual having new followers, but normally there’s a process involved. Such as they read a few posts, like one or two of them, then decide to follow.

You, on the hand, first followed, then liked 17 posts in a row! My goodness!

What’s more, you’re obviously a speed reader, as all 17 of those likes were accomplished in only one minute. Most impressive!

But then I went to my stats page and saw this: Continue reading “In Which I Question the Motives of a Blogger Who Recently Followed Me and Politely Suggest He Stop Using Super Long Blog Post Titles”

IT Support: I Bow Before You

White dog next to person with laptopSo I’ve been doing some cleaning around the ol’ blog – not sure if you noticed? New theme, upgraded account, no ads (you’re welcome), clearing out some dead links. Just kind of sprucing things up a bit.

Not to brag – well, maybe I’m bragging a little – but I  wasn’t at all worried about making these said changes. It’s not that I’m a computer whiz, exactly.

Oh heck, let’s be honest: I’m more whizzy than your average suburban housewife.

All this is to say that on my second day of working on the blog, the new theme and upgraded no-ad account in place, I started my first post of the new year and wound up with a problem I couldn’t fix.

And I wound up calling support. *sob*

Here’s what happened…  Continue reading “IT Support: I Bow Before You”

The Blogger’s Annual Review

wp_20170101_13_12_33_proState your name, please.

Hey, what’s with the light?

Just state your name, please.

Christi. What is this? An interrogation?

Yes. Yes it is.

Who are you?

I’m one of the WordPress BPs.

BPs?

Blogger Police. We’re conducting our annual review of blogs to see which ones will be allowed to continue. Continue reading “The Blogger’s Annual Review”